Daniel Price - Slick

“He’s always talking.”

She chuckled. “Yeah.”

“Well, for tonight he’s been given firm instructions to shut up and let you speak for yourself.”

“I know. That scares me.”

“You’ll be terrific,” I promised. “This is the part we’ve all been waiting for. This is where you really get to shine.”

She vented a long, tired breath. “You make me crazy, Scott.”

“I know.”

“I mean you really drive me nuts.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

Now I could even hear the bumps in the road. I could hear Alonso bitching about the New York Post . Jesus. Get over it, already.

“I decided what to do about my father,” Harmony told me. “If he wants to be a part of my life, I’m going to let him in. See if he’s worth getting to know. But if he asks me for money again, even once, I’ll know he’s not for real. I’ll know he’s just playing me.”

“I think that’s very smart.”

“Not that I’ve been doing much thinking about him today,” she added with a nervous titter. “Ever since I woke up, I’ve been all about Larry. Larry, Larry, Larry.”

I smiled. “I’m sure Larry’s been thinking about you too.”

“Yeah, but he’s not scared of me like I’m scared of him. And these guys haven’t helped. Maxina and Alonso have been telling me things all day. They’re like ‘Okay, if Larry asks you this, don’t say this. But if he asks you that, definitely say that.’ And they keep reminding me how he’s been doing this stuff for a million years. I get the point already.”

We sighed in tandem. Harmony groaned.

“Scott, what do I do?”

That was all I needed to hear to come alive. I sat up. “I’m glad you asked me that.”

She laughed. “Come on. You think I’d go on live national TV without talking to you first? You’re the only one who makes sense of this shit for me.”

Life was good again. I hopped out of the bed, pacing with fierce new energy. “Okay. First I want you to forget everything that Maxina and Alonso told you. Can you do that?”

“Oh, that’s not a problem.”

“Good. Now forget that proper diction you seem to be using. Just talk the way you normally talk.”

“Oh no, Scott. I’ve been practicing all day.”

“I don’t want you wasting precious energy on grammar. It’s unnecessary.”

“Yeah, but I don’t want to sound stupid.”

“You never sounded stupid to me. And I’m pretty smart.”

“It used to be easy for me,” she lamented. “Before the accident. I used to be able to turn it on and off like a light switch.”

I knew that. By now I was very familiar with the “before” model. She was a good kid but she never could have smiled from a Polaroid the way this Harmony did. This was the Harmony I wanted.

“Just turn it off and leave it off. Will you do that?”

She loosened up already. “Yeah. Okay. Shit, so far this is easy. You only telling me to forget things.”

“Yes, but here comes the hard part. You want everyone to like you, don’t you?”

“Of course.”

“Okay. I want you to forget that too.”

She paused. “Forget I want everyone to like me?”

“Absolutely. Anyone who presumes to judge you from the other side of a TV screen and a big bag of Cheetos is not worth impressing.”

She laughed loud enough to quiet Alonso. “But what about Larry?”

“Larry’s just a big old softie. He already loves you for the numbers you’re bringing him.”

“Yeah, but—”

“Harmony, take a step back and look at yourself. Look at what you’ve got.”

“What do I got?”

“You’ve got five roommates who turned down large amounts of money to protect you. You’ve got at least six bodyguards who’d probably protect you for free if it came down to it. You’ve…”

I stopped at the window, momentarily stuck for words.

“You’ve got a talent for affecting people,” I said. “Even the ones who aren’t so easily affected. You do it without even trying. All I’m saying is don’t start now.”

She was dead quiet, but it was all warm silence.

“Harmony, when that camera light comes on, you’re going to snap into place. Mark my words. You were born for this. I saw it before I even knew you and you knew it before you met me. Don’t shit a shitter.”

She let out a soft, cracked laugh. “What you doing to me, Slick? You trying to make me cry before I even get there?”

“No. I’m just trying to hold your hand.”

“I wish you were.”

“I wish I were too.”

“I don’t know why you mess me up so much, Scott.”

“I don’t know.” I rested my head against the window. “I don’t know. Somehow you and I just got tangled up.”

“Yeah, but I don’t see us ever getting married.”

“No. Doesn’t look likely.”

“I mean I knew from the beginning that you too old, too white, and way too smart for me.”

Grinning, I paced again. “Yeah. And I knew you were too young, too short, and far too nice for me. But I probably could have overlooked those things.”

“If?”

“If you weren’t so goddamn famous.”

She didn’t laugh. I was almost hurt until I heard the faint sounds of cheering from the other end of the line.

“Harmony? You there?”

“Yeah. I’m here. Holy shit.”

“No, I mean are you there at the studio?”

“Yeah. I guess so. Oh my God. Holy shit! Are you watching this?”

“No,” I said, fighting the urge to run downstairs. “Tell me what’s going on.”

“There are people,” she began, then stopped to listen to Alonso. Come on. Shut up and let her talk to me.

“Scott, there are people all over the street. Outside the CNN building. They got signs. They all got signs with my name on them!”

“Don’t keep me hanging. What do they say?”

“Oh my God…”

“All right. I’ll let you go deal with this.”

“No! Don’t go! Stay with me!”

“What do the signs say?”

“There’s, uh… ‘Harmony rules.’ ‘Go Harmony.’ Uh…‘Stand strong, Harmony.’” She laughed, incredulous. “‘Give them hell, Harmony.’ ‘Harmony Prince forever!’ ‘Inglewood High School loves Harmony Prince!’ That’s my school! And there’s, uh…”

“What?”

She lost some steam. “‘We believe you, Harmony.’”

________________

I stayed with her, hiding out inside her big red cellular. When she stepped out of the limo onto Sunset Boulevard, she took me with her, carrying me through the gauntlet of cameras, cops, and spectators. As she proceeded, she described everything she saw, everything she felt. When she felt fear, I told her to stow it. I’d gotten her this far. I’d bring her the rest of the way. When she felt guilt, I told her to save it. She’d need it soon, but not tonight. Tonight was her night to bask in the world’s unadulterated affection. It was such a rare thing nowadays to see a blameless celebrity. The Bitch had a tendency to bite and scratch the people she took into bed with her. Just ask Hunta.

But Harmony was in for nothing but warm, sweet love, and lots of it. If anyone deserved it more than she did, they should have come to me. I would have helped them too. Once again I felt divinely empowered, but this time my strength was matched by an otherworldly kindness. I was a benevolent force of nature. I was the Great Karmic Equalizer.