Amitav Ghosh - The Hungry Tide

One day, in passing, Rath revealed he had spent a part of his childhood in a death camp of the Pol Pot era: his parents had been transported there after the Khmer Rouge took Phnom Penh. Although Rath had offered this as a throwaway scrap of information, his revelation had made such an impression on Piya that she had responded by telling him about her own childhood. In the weeks that followed she found herself talking to him as she never had to any man she had known before: she had told him about her parents and their marriage, about her mother’s depression and her last days in the hospital.

How much did Rath understand of what she was saying? The truth was she had no idea. Was it a delusion to think he too had made some kind of revelation about himself when all he had done was talk about an experience more common than not among his contemporaries? She would never know.

A day came when she found she was thinking of Rath all the time, even when her attention was meant to be focused on the dolphins and their pool. Although she realized she was falling in love, she was not alarmed. This was mainly because of the kind of man Rath was — like her, he was shy and a little solitary by nature. She took comfort in his hesitancies, taking them as proof that he was as inexperienced with women as she was with men. But she was still very cautious, and it was not until some four months had passed that their intimacy progressed beyond the sharing of meals and memories. It was the lightheadedness of the aftermath that caused her to dispense with her habitual caution. This was it, she decided; she was going to become one of those rare exceptions among female field biologists — one who’d had the good fortune to fall in love with the right man in the right place.

At the end of the dry season she was scheduled to go to Hong Kong for six weeks — partly to attend a conference and partly to earn some money by working on a survey team. When she left, everything seemed settled. Rath came to Pochentong Airport to see her off and for the first couple of weeks they exchanged e-mails every day. Then the messages began to tail off, until she could not get a response out of him. She didn’t call his office because she was trying to save money — and anyway, she assumed, what could happen in a couple of weeks?

On stepping off the boat at Kratie, she knew immediately something was wrong: she could almost hear the whispers running up and down the street as she walked back to her flat. It was her landlady who told her, conveying the news with a ghoulish glee: Rath had married and taken a transfer to Phnom Penh.

At first, trying to think the whole thing through, she had decided that he had been forced into a marriage of convenience by his family — this was a predicament she could have understood and it would have sweetened the pill. The rejection would have seemed a little less direct, a little less brutal. But even that consolation was denied her, for she soon found out that he had married a woman from his office, an accountant. Apparently he had started seeing her after she had left to go to Hong Kong: it had taken him just six weeks to decide.

Despite everything, she might still have found it in her to forgive Rath: she could see that in her absence it might have occurred to him to ask himself what it would mean, in the long run, to be married to a foreigner, a habitual peripatetic at that. Could he really be blamed for deciding that he could not deal with it?

She found some solace in this until she met Rath’s replacement. He was a married man in his thirties, and he too spoke some English. Within a short while of meeting her, he shepherded her down to the same waterfront café that she and Rath had once frequented. With the sun setting across the Mekong, he had gazed into her eyes and begun to ask sympathetic questions about her mother. It was then that she realized that Rath had told him everything: that the most intimate details of her life were common knowledge among the men of the town; that this awful oily man was actually trying to use those confidences in some sort of clumsy attempt at seduction.

That was it. The next week she packed her things and moved sixty-some miles upriver, to Stung Treng. In the end it was not the pain of what she had lived through with Rath that drove her out, but the sheer humiliation of having had her life laid bare before the whole town.

“But that wasn’t the worst part,” Piya said.

“What was the worst part, then?”

“That came when I went back to the States. I met up with some friends. All women, all doing research in field biology. They just laughed when they heard my story. They’d all been through something similar. It was as if what I’d been through wasn’t even my own story — only a script we were all doomed to live out. That’s just how it is, they said: this is what your life’s going to be like. You’re always going to find yourself in some small town where there’s never anyone to talk to but this one guy who knows some English. And everything you tell him will be all over the town before you’ve said it. So just keep your mouth shut and get used to being on your own.”

Piya shrugged. “So that’s what I’ve been trying to do ever since.”

“What?”

“Get used to the idea of being on my own.”

Kanai fell silent as he thought about the story she had just told. It seemed to him that he had not till this moment been able to see her for the person she was. Her containment and her usual economy with words had prevented him from acknowledging, even to himself, her true extraordinariness. She was not just his equal in mind and imagination; her spirit and heart were far larger than his own.

Kanai had been leaning back with his feet up on the gunwale. Now, allowing his chair to right itself, he sat forward and looked into her face. “It doesn’t have to be like that, you know, Piya. You don’t have to be on your own.”

“You have a better idea?”

“I do.”

Before he could say any more, they heard Horen’s voice echoing up from the lower deck, summoning them to dinner.

PIYA WENT TO BED early again. Not having slept much the night before, Kanai tried to do the same. But despite his best efforts, sleep proved elusive for him that night: there was a strong wind blowing outside and, as if in response to the bhotbhoti’s rocking, a recurrent childhood nightmare came back to visit him — a dream in which he was taking the same examination over and over again. The difference now was in the faces of the examiners, which were not those of his teachers but of Kusum and Piya, Nilima and Moyna, Horen and Nirmal. In the small hours he sat up suddenly, in a sweat of anxiety: he could not remember what language he had been dreaming in, but the word pariksha, “examination,” was ringing in his head and he was trying to explain why he had translated the word in the archaic sense of “trial by ordeal.” Eventually these dreams yielded to a deep, heavy sleep, which kept him in his bunk until the dawn fog had lifted and the tide was about to reverse itself.

Kanai stepped out of his cabin to find that the wind had died down, leaving the river’s becalmed surface as still as a sheet of polished metal. Having reached full flood, the tide was now at that point of perfect balance when the water appears motionless. From the deck the island of Garjontola looked like a jeweled inlay on the rim of a gigantic silver shield. The spectacle was at once elemental and intimate, immense in its scale and yet, in this moment of tranquillity, oddly gentle.

He heard footsteps on the deck and turned to see Piya coming toward him. She was armed with a clipboard and data sheets and her voice was all business: “Kanai, can I ask you a favor? For this morning?”