Yu Hua - Brothers

Having now five thousand yuan in start-up capital, Baldy Li then proceeded on to Little Scissors Guan in his blade-sharpening shop and to Yanker Yu under his oilcloth umbrella. Old Scissors Guan had been ill for the past few years and had not worked for quite a while. Little Guan, therefore, had begun to take over the blade-sharpening shop, becoming, as he put it, its commander without troops. Baldy Li gave Little Guan rights to the undershirts, and Little Guan was very satisfied with his Scissors Brand undershirts, saying that its two straps did in fact look like a pair of scissors. Little Guan took ten shares for one thousand yuan.

Baldy Li next went to Yanker Yu's territory. Yanker Yu was the same as before, with an enormous oilcloth umbrella stretched open at the end of the street, under which he had arranged a table with a row of dental tools and an array of dozens of extracted teeth. When he had patients, he would sit on the stool, but when he didn't, he would lie back in his rattan recliner. He had already repaired this recliner more than a dozen times, and the different shades of rattan patches made it look like a map of Liu Town. Yanker Yu had watched as the Revolution faded from a surge to a trickle, and now couldn't even tell where the trickle was headed. He knew that the Revolution, like everything else, was old and retired, and he was convinced that it would never return during his lifetime. He felt that those dozen or so good teeth he had extracted by mistake were no longer revolutionary treasures and instead might even become a dozen stains on his career. Therefore, one dark and stormy night, he snuck out of the house and furtively tossed them into the sewer.

Yanker Yu was now more than fifty years old, and upon hearing Baldy Li's plans, he sat up excitedly from his recliner, took the world map Baldy Li was holding, and studied it intently. Then he pronounced, "I, Yanker Yu, despite having already lived out more than half my life, have never yet crossed the county line. Instead of exotic scenery, all I have seen is the insides of peoples mouths. Therefore, I'm counting on you to succeed, and once I become rich along with you, I'll be damned if I continue pulling teeth, or even so much as look into another open mouth. I want to travel to scenic sights around the world and visit all the locations marked on the map with these dots."

"This is truly a soaring ambition!" said Baldy Li, giving Yanker Yu an enthusiastic thumbs-up.

Yu, however, was not finished. Looking disparagingly at the dentistry implements on the table, he announced, "I'm going to throw these all away."

"Don't do that," Baldy Li said. "You should take them with you when you travel to see the scenery at these points on the map. That way, if you get the urge, you can extract a few white people's and black people's teeth while you are there. Having already pulled so many Chinese teeth, once you become rich, you can switch to pulling foreigners’ teeth."

"You have a point," Yanker Yu conceded, eyes sparkling. "I've been pulling teeth for thirty years now, but all of those have belonged to our compatriots. I haven't even had a chance to pull a single Shanghainese tooth, much less a foreign one. I want to pull teeth from people from every point on this map."

"Yes!" Baldy Li shouted in agreement. "While other people aspire to read ten thousand books and walk ten thousand li, you aspire to walk ten thousand li and pull ten thousand teeth."

Next they had to address the question of Yu's brand. Yu was very dissatisfied with the prospect of having brand-name underwear, which was the only kind of clothing left. He cursed Baldy Li to his face: "Fuck you, you gave the pants, shirt, and undershirt away to others, and now you want to give me the underwear. This just shows that you have no respect for me."

"I swear," Baldy Li said passionately, "I have the greatest respect for you. I simply followed this road to your place, and how can I help it if you happen to live at the end of the street? If your shop had been at the head of the street, you would have had your pick."

Yanker Yu wouldn't let Baldy Li off the hook so easily and said, "I have been squatting here at the end of this street for longer than you have been alive. Even when you were a little ragamuffin, you would come by several times a day. But now your wings have grown, so you don't come by anymore. Why didn't you come find me earlier? Your fucking teeth don't hurt, so …"

"You're right about that," Baldy Li admitted. "This is what is known as remembering the well-diggers when you want to drink water, and remembering Yanker Yu when you have a toothache. If my tooth were to hurt, you'd definitely be the first person I'd come see."

After Yanker Yu expressed his dissatisfaction with the underwear, he also complained about the notion of a Yanker Brand, saying that it "sounded bad."

"In that case, how about if we call it Tooth Brand Underwear?" Baldy Li suggested.

"That also sounds bad," Yanker Yu said.

"How about Ivories Brand?" Baldy Li asked.

Yanker Yu considered for a moment and agreed. "Ivories Brand would do. I'll take ten shares for one thousand yuan. If you also give me the undershirt brand to go with it, I'll buy twenty shares."

Baldy Li raised his victory flag. After having spent the morning wagging his jaw, he had succeeded in raising seven thousand yuan in startup capital. He didn't realize, however, that Popsicle Wang had been following him closely all along. Popsicle Wang, who during the Cultural Revolution had announced his intention of inventing a revolutionary popsicle that would never melt, was also now in his fifties. When Baldy Li unfurled his world map at the blacksmith shop, Popsicle Wang happened to be walking by and overheard Baldy Li's extravagant claims. Popsicle Wang was flabbergasted to see Blacksmith Tong hand over four thousand yuan. Wang then continued to tail Baldy Li and observed as Tailor Zhang, Little Scissors Guan, and Yanker Yu together invested another three thousand yuan. Seeing all this, Popsicle Wang became as restless as an ant on a hot frying pan and decided that this was an opportunity he simply couldn't afford to pass up. As Baldy Li was strolling contentedly down the street, Wang grabbed him from behind, held up five fingers, and said, "I'll take five shares."

Baldy Li had never imagined that Popsicle Wang would be able to pull together five hundred yuan. Even he himself, the famous Factory Director Li, could not have come up with five hundred yuan even if he pooled all of his assets. He looked at Popsicle Wang, grinning there in his tattered clothing, and cursed, "Fuck! You private entrepreneurs have all the money, and we cadres are left with nothing."

Popsicle Wang nodded and bowed. "Now you are also a private entrepreneur. You will soon be as rich as an oil geyser."

"Not an oil geyser," Baldy Li corrected him. "I'll be as rich as a ten-thousand-ton oil tanker."

"Yes, yes," Popsicle Wang said in a flattering tone. "Therefore, I will follow closely behind you."

Baldy Li looked at Popsicle Wang holding up his five fingers and shook his head sadly. "I'm sorry, I don't have any brands left to give you. I gave Yanker Yu the last brand, for the underwear."

"I don't want my own brand." Popsicle Wang waved his five fingers back and forth. "All I want is shares."

"That won't do." Baldy Li shook his head emphatically. "I have always done things in a fair and just manner, and it wouldn't be acceptable if Blacksmith Tong, Tailor Zhang, Scissors Guan, and Yanker Yu all had their own brands and you didn't."

Baldy Li lifted his head, stuck out his chest, and walked away. Already having seven thousand yuan in venture capital, he wasn't interested in Popsicle Wang's additional five hundred yuan. Wang trailed pathetically behind him, still holding up his five fingers as if his hand were a prosthetic. He continued beseeching Baldy Li, suggesting that in his oil tanker there could be some of Popsicle Wang's oil as well. Wang lamented his own troubles, explaining that, selling popsicles, he could earn money only during the summer, and therefore during the remaining three seasons he had to rely on odd jobs. Now that he was getting older, it had become harder for him to find these jobs. When he started speaking about the future, Wang's eyes welled up with tears. His entire life savings amounted to only five hundred yuan, and he wanted to invest it all in Baldy Li's glorious new enterprise, thereby earning himself a comfortable future.