Yu Hua - Brothers

At this moment Baldy Li and Song Gang were waiting for her at the bus depot back in Liu Town. As the gates of the Liu Town bus depot were closing, the gates of the Shanghai depot were also shut. As Baldy Li and Song Gang made their way home, eating the buns that Mama Su had given them, Li Lan was still waiting by the exit at the Shanghai bus depot. The sky began to darken, but Li Lan still did not see Song Fanping's tall figure. When the heavy metal gates of the bus depot were shut, she felt as if her brain had been drained of all content, and she just stood there, barely conscious.

Li Lan passed the night outside the door of the waiting room. She considered going to stay with Song Fanping s sister, but Song Fanping s sister hadn't given her the address, since neither of them expected that Song Fanping would fail to arrive in Shanghai. The sister assumed that as long as Song Fanping himself knew the address, that would be enough. Therefore Li Lan slept on the ground like a homeless beggar. Mosquitoes stung her throughout this summer night, but she did not notice as she drifted fitfully in and out of sleep.

In the latter half of the night a crazy woman came to keep Li Lan company. First the woman sat by her side, carefully examining her, cackling all the while. Li Lan, wakened by her eerie laugh, let out a gasp when she made out the filthy face and figure of the crazy woman by the glow of the streetlight. In response, the crazy woman let out a shriller, louder cry, as if Li Lan had frightened her. Then she sat down as if nothing had happened and continued gazing at Li Lan, cackling.

Li Lan was still recovering from her initial fright when the crazy woman started to hum a tune. As she hummed she also muttered, her voice popping like a machine gun. Li Lan was no longer scared. Though she could not make out what the crazy woman was saying, the continual din of a human voice actually put her at ease. With a faint smile, Li Lan fell back to sleep.

After some time had passed, Li Lan in her dreams heard the sounds of palms slapping. She raised her sleep-heavy lids to see the crazy woman, sitting by her side, flapping her arms to shoo away the mosquitoes, and sometimes slapping at them. The crazy woman repeatedly slapped her hands together, then carefully scraped the mosquitoes from her palms and put them in her mouth, chuckling as she gulped them down. Her actions reminded Li Lan of the steamed bun in her bag, so she sat up, took out the bun, and broke off half for the crazy woman.

Li Lan extended the bun almost directly to the woman's face, but she ignored it. She cackled as she slapped at the mosquitoes and placed them into her mouth. Her raised arm tiring, Li Lan was about to put it down when the woman suddenly snatched away the half bun. Then the woman immediately stood up and walked down the waiting room's steps, moaning and muttering and acting as if she was looking for something. She took a few steps south, then a few steps north, and finally raised the bun in her hand and proceeded east. As the crazy woman walked farther away, Li Lan was finally able to make out what she was saying: "Brother, brother …"

Li Lan was now alone again under the dim streetlight. She sat and slowly ate her bun, feeling hollow inside. As she finished, the streetlight suddenly went out, and when she looked up, she saw the first rays of daybreak. It was at that moment that her tears finally gushed forth.

Li Lan boarded the early bus. As the bus pulled out of the station she turned around, still scanning the streets outside in hopes of catching sight of Song Fanping. Only when the bus left Shanghai and the landscape outside her window had turned into fields did Li Lan close her eyes. She rested her head on the window frame and dozed off despite the bumpiness of the drive. During that three-hour journey, Li Lan repeatedly drifted in and out of sleep, and images of those envelopes floated into her mind. Why were the stamps always placed in different spots? Her earlier suspicions resurfaced and grew stronger and stronger. She knew that Song Fanping was a man of his word, and if he said that he would come pick her up in Shanghai, then he would do so at all costs. If he hadn't come, then something must have happened. This train of thought caused her heart to shudder. As the bus neared Liu Town and the landscape outside her window grew increasingly familiar, Li Lan's uneasy premonitions grew stronger and stronger. By now she was convinced that something terrible must have happened. Her whole body shook as she buried her face in her hands, and she didn't dare think more concretely. She felt that she was falling apart as tears streamed from her eyes.

When the bus pulled into the Liu Town depot, Li Lan, carrying her gray travel bag with SHANGHAI printed on the side, was the last to emerge. She followed behind the crowds, her limbs feeling as heavy as lead. Every step took her closer to bad news. When she dragged herself outside of the station, only to be greeted by two wailing boys who were as filthy as if they had been fished from a garbage dump, Li Lan knew that her terrible premonitions had proven true. Her eyes grew dark, and she dropped the travel bag to the ground. The two filthy boys were Baldy Li and Song Gang, and they were wailing, "Papa's dead!"

LI LAN stood motionless as Baldy Li and Song Gang wailed over and over again, "Papas dead!" She stood planted on the spot, as if her soul had left her body. In this moment of brilliant noon sunshine, she could see only darkness. It was as if she suddenly became both blind and deaf. Li Lan stood there, rigid and corpselike, for more than ten minutes before everything finally came back into focus and she could again make out the two boys crying and wailing in front of her. She could now clearly see the bus depot, the men and women walking by, and Baldy Li and Song Gang. The boys’ faces were covered in snot and tears, and they tugged at her clothes, crying, "Papas dead."

Li Lan nodded her head lightly. "I know."

She looked down at her travel bag. When she bent to pick it up, she suddenly keeled over, bringing down with her Baldy Li and Song Gang. She helped the boys up and got up herself by leaning on the bag, but when she bent down once again to pick it up, her legs again gave out from under her and she knelt down on the ground, trembling all over. Baldy Li and Song Gang watched her, terrified, and reached down to nudge her, calling out over and over again, "Mama, Mama …"

Li Lan got up by leaning on the boys’ shoulders. She let out a long sigh, then picked up her travel bag and stumbled forward. The noon sun was making her dizzy, making her wobble unsteadily. The empty lot in front of the bus depot was still streaked with Song Fanping's blood, and a few dozen dead flies dotted the blood-darkened earth. Song Gang pointed at the blood and told Li Lan, "This is where Papa died."

The children had stopped weeping, but when Song Gang said this, he again burst into tears, and Baldy Li couldn't help but cry as well. Li Lan's travel bag again dropped to the ground. She looked down at the blood that had already turned dark, then looked around, and finally looked at the two boys, her gaze blurring as her eyes filled with tears. She knelt down, opened her bag, and took out a piece of clothing to spread on the ground. Then she carefully brushed off the flies and scooped up the dark crimson dirt into the shirt, kneeling there until she had gathered every last speck of dirt that had been stained by the blood. Even then she continued to kneel, sifting the dirt through her fingers as if she were searching for gold, still looking for the last traces of Song Fanpings blood.

She knelt there for a very long time. A large crowd gathered around, watching and discussing her. Some knew her and others did not; some of them spoke of Song Fanping, about how he had been beaten to death. The details they mentioned were ones Baldy Li and Song Gang had not known about: how the men smashed wooden bats over Song Fanpings head and kicked him in the chest, and how they stabbed his abdomen with the splintered bats. With every sentence Baldy Li and Song Gang shrieked and wept. Li Lan heard too, and her body shuddered with each new revelation. She raised her head a few times, but each time she glimpsed those who were speaking, she would lower her head again and continue gathering up Song Fanpings traces. Finally Mama Su walked over from her snack shop to scold the bystanders, saying, "Stop talking! How can you talk about these things in front of his wife and kids? And you call yourself human!"