Yu Hua - Brothers

Blacksmith Tong felt humiliated because, in order to save money, his wife would always pick relatively homely girls for him. At first he felt that they were all right and told himself that, although they weren't very pretty, at least they were young. Gradually, however, he began to lose interest in girls who weren't pretty, and therefore the number of rounds he could rouse himself for carnal battle also diminished. In Madam Lin's building there were some very pretty girls whom Blacksmith Tong lusted after with all his heart. He would beg his wife to pick him a pretty one, but she would refuse on the ground that the pretty ones were more expensive and therefore her cost would dramatically increase. Blacksmith Tong swore that if he got a pretty girl, he would definitely do her for at least two hours and therefore make good on their investment.

During the several decades they had been married, Blacksmith Tong had always strutted about proudly in front of his wife. Especially since he opened his store, then his chain of supermarkets, his success in business made him even prouder, and he would often reprimand and curse her. Now, however, he frequently implored her to find him a pretty girl and didn't hesitate to kneel with tears streaming down his face. When his wife saw him like this and remembered his former cockiness, she couldn't help but shake her head and, sighing, ask, "Why are men such losers?"

She then agreed to find him a pretty girl for holidays and festivals. Blacksmith Tong reacted as though he had just received a royal blessing and immediately rushed off to find a calendar and make a list of all of the holidays. Starting with the Chinese Lunar New Year, he first wrote down the traditional Chinese holidays, including the Mid-Autumn Festival, the Duanwu Dragon Boat Festival, the Chongyang Double Ninth Festival, the Qingming Ancestors’ Festival, and so forth. Then he added Labor Day, Youth Day, Army Building Day, and National Day, together with Teachers’ Day, Valentines Day, Bachelors’ Day, and Elders’ Day, as well as the foreigners’ holidays of Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas, and finally added Women's Day and Children's Day as well. When Blacksmith Tong told his wife all of the holidays he had found, she jumped in alarm and cried out hoarsely, "Oh, my God!"

Then the two started bargaining feverishly. Blacksmith Tongs wife first tried to eliminate all the foreigners’ holidays, declaring nationalis-tically "We are Chinese and don't observe foreigners’ holidays."

Blacksmith Tong didn't agree. He had worked in business for more than ten years and naturally knew more than his wife, and therefore he admonished her, "What era do we live in? This is the age of globalization. Our refrigerator, television, and washing machine are all foreign brands. Can you possibly claim that, because you are Chinese, therefore you won't use foreign brands?"

His wife opened her mouth, but no words came out. Finally, she simply said, "I'm no match for you."

After the foreigners’ holidays were preserved, Blacksmith Tongs wife picked out the Qingming Ancestors’ Festival from among the traditional Chinese holidays and said, "This is a festival of the dead, and therefore you can't count it among your own."

Blacksmith Tong didn't agree with that either and said, "The Qingming festival is for the living to mourn the deceased, and therefore it is actually a holiday for the living. On that day every year, we first go visit my parents’ graves and then visit yours. Why wouldn't this count?"

His wife pondered for a long time and finally again conceded, "I'm no match for you."

Therefore, the Qingming festival was also preserved. Next, his wife firmly opposed his inclusion of Youth Day, Teachers’ Day, and Children's Day. Blacksmith Tong agreed to leave out Teachers’ Day but insisted that he be allowed to keep the others. He said that it was only after having experienced his own childhood and youth that he was able to have his current old age, and he declared boldly, "Comrade Lenin taught us: To forget the past is to betray it."

The two continued going back and forth, and after they had argued for more than an hour, Blacksmith Tongs wife once again gave in, saying, "I'm no match for you."

Finally, the dispute came down to Women's Day, and Blacksmith Tongs wife asked him, "What does Women's Day have to do with you?"

Blacksmith Tong replied, "Precisely because it is Women's Day, one must go find oneself a woman."

His wife suddenly became downcast and, wiping her tears, said, "No matter what I say, I'll never be a match for you."

Buoyed by his success, Blacksmith Tong thought of two more holidays. "There are two more: your birthday and mine."

His wife finally became infuriated and cried out, "So you want to go find a prostitute even on my birthday?"

Blacksmith Tong realized his mistake and immediately corrected himself. He shook his head and waved away the thought. "No, no, of course not! I won't go anywhere on your birthday but will spend the entire day with you. I won't go anywhere on my birthday either and will spend that entire day with you as well. Our two birthdays count as my Chastity Days, and not only will I not sleep with other women on either of those days, I won't even look in their direction."

Blacksmith Tongs last concession made his simpleminded wife believe that she had finally achieved a victory. Gratified, she said, "At any rate, I'm no match for you."

Blacksmith Tongs wife continued to personally escort him to Madam Lin's, and every holiday and festival he received a bonus allowing him to hire a more expensive girl. All the married men in Liu Town were extremely envious and remarked that this proved that Blacksmith Tong was indeed born lucky, to have such a sensible and enlightened wife who supported him when he went whoring while she herself remained chaste. They decided that, even if Tong were reduced to a pile of dog shit, he would still manage to find some dog-shit fortune— he was that lucky. They then looked again at their own wives, each of whom was unreasonable and had a rigid way of thinking, grasping their husbands’ wallets with one hand and their belts with the other. The men sighed, and when they ran into Blacksmith Tong they would ask quietly, "How did you manage to have such good fortune?"

With a pleasant expression, Tong would say modestly, "I simply had the fortune to find a good wife."

If his wife was by his side, he would add, "This good wife of mine is one of a kind, and even if you took a red lantern to search heaven, hell, and the bottom of the sea, you still wouldn't find another like her."

From the time Blacksmith Tongs wife started accompanying him to Madam Lin's to hire girls, his tantrums abruptly disappeared. The cockiness his wife had endured for decades disappeared too, and he stopped cursing his employees, becoming instead as polite and refined as an intellectual, always smiling and not uttering a single curse word when he spoke. His wife was very pleased with his transformation, because not only did he abandon his cocky attitude but he furthermore became quite subservient when he was with her. Before, he wasn't even willing to go shopping with her, and now he would carry her bag; previously he refused to discuss anything with her, but now he asked her permission for everything. Blacksmith Tong even dismissed the chairman of his company's board of directors and appointed his wife in his place, and he himself settled for being company president. Therefore, his wife had to sign all the company's papers — she had no understanding of what was going on, she just knew that she had to sign everything her husband brought her. When other people brought her documents, she would categorically refuse to sign anything she didn't fully understand — unless she saw that her husband had signed it before her. Blacksmith Tongs wife was no longer a housewife and instead went to work with her husband every day. As a result, she began to pay more attention to her dress and makeup, to the point of wearing name-brand clothing and name-brand lipstick. The company's employees would nod and bow when they saw her, making her feel as if she had a successful career. She liked to lecture others, and whenever she ran into women who had been housewives for several decades, like herself, she would try to enlighten them, saying that women shouldn't rely entirely on men but, rather, should have their own careers. At the end of her lecture, she would add a fashionable phrase: "They should find their own self-worth."