Yu Hua - To Live

After saying that I started to feel bad. Fengxia was really no different from other people; she just couldn’t speak. When I got home I told Jiazhen. Upon hearing what I had said she also felt bad. Without a word, she sat down on the edge of the bed. After a long pause she sighed and said, “There’s really nothing else we can do at this point.”

But before long the team leader found a man for Fengxia. I was fertilizing our private plot when the team leader came by and said, “Fugui, I found a husband for Fengxia. He’s from town and works as a porter. He makes a lot of money.”

As soon as I heard that, it sounded too good to be true. I thought the team leader was playing with me. “Team leader, don’t joke around,” I said.

“I’m not joking,” the team leader replied. “His name’s Wan Erxi. He’s got a crooked head. His head rests against his shoulder — no matter what, it won’t stand up straight.”

It wasn’t until the team leader told me this that I believed the match was for real.

“Hurry up and arrange for him to come and check out Fengxia,” I hastened to say.

The moment the team leader left, I threw down the manure ladle and ran toward our hut, yelling, “Jiazhen! Jiazhen!”

Sitting in bed, Jiazhen thought I’d had an accident. Her eyes widened as she saw me come in.

“Fengxia’s got a man!” I said.

Only then did Jiazhen breathe easy and say, “You really scared me.”

“He’s not missing a leg, and his arms are okay, too,” I said. “Plus he lives in town.”

I began to cry. At first Jiazhen smiled, but seeing me cry, tears also streamed from her eyes. We were happy for a while, and then Jiazhen asked, “It sounds so good, are you sure he would want Fengxia?”

“He’s got a crooked head,” I said.

Only after hearing that did Jiazhen relax a bit. That night Jiazhen had me take out some of her old clothes so she could make a new outfit for Fengxia. Jiazhen said, “Fengxia will finally have a reason to get dressed up. Everyone’s going to come for the wedding.”

Wan Erxi showed up just a few days later. His head really was crooked; when he saw me he raised his left shoulder. When he saw Fengxia and Jiazhen he did the same thing. Fengxia started to giggle the moment she laid eyes on him.

Wan Erxi was wearing a neat and clean tunic suit. If it hadn’t been for his crooked head he would have looked just like one of those big city cadres. He came in accompanied by the team leader and carrying a bottle of wine and a calico cloth. Jiazhen was sitting on the bed. Her hair was neatly combed, and although her clothes were a bit tattered, they were very clean. I had also put a new pair of cloth shoes under the bed especially for Jiazhen. Wearing a red outfit, Fengxia sat next to her mother with her head lowered. Jiazhen giggled as she looked at her unofficial son-in-law. Deep down she was filled with happiness.

Wan Erxi put the wine and the cloth down on the table and then, raising his shoulder, he walked around our hut. He was checking out our home.

“Team leader, Erxi, have a seat,” I said.

Erxi grunted and sat down on a stool. The team leader waved his hand and said, “I can’t stay, but let me introduce you. Erxi, this is Fengxia, and these are her parents.”

Fengxia’s hands were resting on her legs. When she saw the team leader point to her, she smiled at him. When the team leader pointed to Jiazhen, Fengxia turned to her mother and continued smiling.

“Team leader, please have a seat,” insisted Jiazhen.

The team leader replied, “No, I’ve really got to go. But why don’t you all go ahead and chat.”

The team leader turned around to leave. I knew there was no way to convince the team leader to stay, so I saw him out. When I came back in I pointed to the wine on the table and said to Erxi, “You must have gone broke buying this. To tell you the truth, I haven’t had a drink in decades!”

Erxi didn’t say anything. He just grunted and lifted his shoulder, all the while looking the house up and down. The way he kept looking over our hut made me begin to feel anxious. Jiazhen forced a smile as she explained, “Our family’s a bit poor.”

Erxi grunted again and raised his shoulder to look at Jiazhen. Jiazhen continued, “It’s a good thing we’ve been raising a lamb and a couple of chickens. Fugui and I have decided that when Fengxia gets married we’ll sell them for her dowry.”

After hearing this, all he did was grunt again. I had no idea what he was thinking. We sat for a while before Erxi got up and said he had to go. The moment he got up I figured the match was a failure. He hadn’t even taken a good look at Fengxia. All he had done was stare at our beat-up old hut. I looked at Jiazhen. Forcing a smile, she said to Erxi, “My legs are no good anymore, so I can’t see you off.”

Erxi nodded. As he walked outside, I asked him, “You’re not taking those gifts?”

Grunting, he raised his shoulder to look at the straw roof. After nodding once more, he left.

I went back inside and sat down on a stool. Thinking about what had happened made me a little mad.

“What right does he have to be so picky?” I said. “The guy can’t even hold his head straight.”

Jiazhen sighed as she said, “You can’t blame him.”

Fengxia wasn’t stupid. As soon as she saw us like that she knew that he didn’t like her. She stood up and went into the other room. She changed into some old clothes, grabbed her hoe and headed out to the field.

That night the team leader came to ask me, “Did it work out?”

I shook my head and said, “Too poor, our family’s too poor.”

The next afternoon I was out plowing the field when someone called me. “Fugui, look over there. It looks like that crooked-headed son-in-law of yours is coming.”

I looked up to see five or six guys pulling a cart down the trail from town. Except for the one in front with the crooked head, they all walked with a sway. With just one glance from far away I knew it was Erxi — I never imagined he would come back.

When Erxi saw me, he said, “It’s about time you had the straw on your roof replaced. I also brought a cart of lime to whitewash the walls.”

I looked in the cart and saw the lime along with two brushes to paint the walls with. On top of the cart was a small table, and on top of the table was a pig’s head. Erxi was carrying two bottles of white sorghum wine.

It was only then I realized that when Erxi was staring at our house, it wasn’t because he looked down on our poverty. He had noticed everything, even the pile of straw outside our door. I’d been planning to change the straw on our roof for a long time, but I’d wanted to wait until the slow season when some of the other villagers would have time to give me a hand.

Erxi not only brought five people with him, but he brought meat and spirits — he had really thought of everything. When they got to the door they put down the cart, and Erxi walked right in as if he were walking into his own home. Carrying the pig’s head in one hand and the small table in the other, he went in and put them down in front of Jiazhen. Erxi said, “This way you won’t have to worry about cooking.”

Jiazhen was so moved that tears came to her eyes. She hadn’t thought that Erxi would come back either, and never in a thousand years had we imagined that he would bring with him a bunch of guys to replace our roof and prepare a small meal all in the same day.

“Erxi, you’re so considerate,” said Jiazhen.

Erxi and his friends moved our table and stools outside and covered the ground around the tree out front with rice straw. Then Erxi went over to the bed to carry Jiazhen outside. Jiazhen laughed and waved her hands, calling out to me, “Fugui, don’t just stand there and watch.”