Yu Hua - To Live

“Did she steal it from you?” they asked Wang Si. “Or did you steal it from her?”

Wang Si had an offended look on his face, as if he had been unjustly accused.

“All of you saw it clearly — she was trying to steal it from me,” he declared.

“Everyone in the village knows that Fengxia is not that kind of person,” I said. “Wang Si, if this sweet potato is really yours, then take it. But if it’s not, I hope you get an upset stomach after eating it.”

Wang Si pointed his finger at Fengxia and said, “You let her say for herself whose it is.”

How could he say such a thing when he knew damn well that Fengxia couldn’t speak? He made me so furious that my body began to tremble. Fengxia stood to one side, and her mouth opened but no sound came out; instead, tears poured down her face. I waved my hand at Wang Si.

“If you’re not afraid of the god of thunder striking you down, take it,” I said.

Wang Si was guilty but he didn’t even blush. Instead, he straightened his neck and said, “It’s mine. Of course I’ll take it.”

Saying that, he turned around to go. No one imagined that Fengxia would pick up her hoe to hit Wang Si. If someone hadn’t screamed out in terror, giving Wang Si a chance to duck out of the way, I’m afraid he would have been killed. When Wang Si saw Fengxia trying to hit him, he stretched out his hand and slapped her. Fengxia had nowhere near as much strength as Wang Si did, and that one slap knocked her to the ground. The sound of the slap went straight to my heart; it was like the sound of someone diving into a pond. I rushed forward and hit Wang Si in the face. His head bobbed, and my hand ached. After Wang Si came around he grabbed hold of a hoe and aimed it right at me. After jumping out of the way, I also grabbed hold of a hoe.

If the villagers hadn’t restrained us, that day would have marked the end for at least one of us. Then the team leader came. After we finished telling him what had happened, he yelled at us, “Fuck, if you kill each other what the hell am I supposed to say to the higher-ups?”

After having it out with us, the team leader said, “Fengxia’s not the kind of person to do a thing like that. But then again no one saw Wang Si steal it, either. So this is what we’ll do: We’ll split it, and each of your families will get half.”

With that, the team leader held out his hands to Wang Si, expecting him to hand over the potato. But Wang Si held on to it with both hands, unwilling to let go.

“Hand it over,” the team leader ordered.

Wang Si had no choice. With a long face he handed the potato over to the team leader. The team leader borrowed a sickle from someone beside him, put the potato down on the ridge and with one swift swipe the sweet potato was split in two. But the team leader’s aim was off, leaving one huge piece and one tiny piece. I said, “Team leader, how do we split this up?”

The team leader said, “That’s easy.”

With another swift swipe, he cut a chunk off the big piece and put it into his pocket — that chunk was his. He handed Wang Si and me the two remaining pieces.

“Are they about the same size?” he asked.

One piece of a sweet potato would never be enough to feed a family, but our way of thinking back then was different. At the time we were in dire straits. It had been a month without grain, and just about everything edible in the fields had long been eaten. Back then, if someone had offered a bowl of rice for your life, he would have had more than a few takers.

The day after we fought over the potato with Wang Si, Jiazhen, leaning on her little stick, made her way to the edge of the village. I was in the fields at the time. When I saw her I asked where she was off to. She said, “I’m going into town to see my dad.”

It’s natural for a daughter to want to see her father, and even if I had wanted to stop her I wouldn’t have been able to. Seeing how much energy it took her to walk, I said, “Let Fengxia go along. She’ll be able to take care of you on the way.”

When Jiazhen heard this, she answered without even turning her head, “I don’t want Fengxia to come.”

Jiazhen had a short temper during those difficult days, so I didn’t bother trying to argue with her. I watched her walk slowly toward town. She was so skinny it looked like she had no meat on her bones. Her once-stretched clothes had become loose and droopy, blowing back and forth in the wind.

I didn’t know that she was going into town to beg. She didn’t come back until near dusk, and by the time she got home she couldn’t even walk. Fengxia saw her first. Fengxia tugged on my clothes, and I turned around to see Jiazhen standing on the trail. Resting against her stick, she waved to us. As she raised her arm it looked as if her head were about to tumble off her shoulders.

I rushed over, and just as I was about to reach her she fell to the ground on her knees. Clutching her stick with both hands, she cried out in a weak voice, “Fugui, come, come.”

As I reached out to help her up, she grabbed hold of my hand and pulled it to her chest.

“Feel,” she said, gasping for air.

As I touched her chest I was shocked. Inside her clothes I felt a small bag of rice.

“It’s rice,” I said.

Tears flowed from Jiazhen’s eyes.

“Dad gave it to me,” she said.

At the time, a bag of rice was an unheard-of delicacy. It had been at least a month or two since our family had tasted rice. The joy we felt was indescribable. I had Fengxia help Jiazhen to the house while I went to look for Youqing. Youqing was lying beside the pond, where he had just drunk a bellyful of water.

“Youqing! Youqing!” I called.

He answered me wearily and didn’t even have the energy to hold his head straight.

“Hurry home for some porridge,” I said quietly.

The second Youqing heard there was porridge, he summoned a burst of energy from who knows where. He immediately sat up and called out, “Porridge?”

He nearly scared me to death.

“Not so loud!” I said anxiously.

We couldn’t let other people know that Jiazhen had brought home a bag of rice hidden in her clothes. Once everyone got home I shut and locked the door, and only then did Jiazhen take out the little bag of rice. She dumped half the bag into the pot and added some water. Fengxia started a fire, and before long the porridge was cooking. I had Youqing look out through the crack in the door just in case anyone from the village came by. As soon as the water began to boil the fragrance of rice filled the hut. Youqing couldn’t stand it any longer. He ran over to the pot and took deep whiff after whiff. “It smells so good!”

I pushed him away, saying, “Go back to the door and keep guard.”

Youqing took two more quick whiffs before going back to the door. A smile emerged on Jiazhen’s face, and she said, “It looks like I’ll finally be able to give you a good meal.”

Tears fell from Jiazhen’s eyes as she spoke.

“This rice came from between my father’s teeth,” she sobbed.

It was then that someone started to approach from outside. As he got to the door he yelled, “Fugui!”

We were so scared that we didn’t dare breathe. Youqing stood bent over at the door, not moving a muscle. Only Fengxia, who couldn’t hear anything, continued happily adding wood to the fire. I patted her to be quieter. Not hearing anyone respond, the person outside said angrily, “There’s smoke puffing out your chimney, but nobody inside answers!”

After a while it seemed that the man had left. Youqing peered outside for some time before finally whispering to us, “He’s gone.”

Jiazhen and I could finally take a deep breath and relax. When the porridge was ready, the four of us sat at the table and ate it. Never in my life have I eaten with more relish than on that day. Just thinking about the taste makes me drool. Youqing was anxious and ate quickly — he was the first to finish. He opened his mouth wide and took big breaths to cool it down. But he still wound up with a bunch of little blisters in his mouth that were sore for a few days. Just as we finished, the team leader showed up, bringing along practically everyone in the village.