Peter Liu - Bald New World

I grimaced. “Where am I going?”

“The Absalom Institute of Hair.”

“What’s that?”

“It’s a research facility. One of the researchers, Dr. Asahi, will have something for you. But you need to make it before six.”

“Why?”

“Someone there I want you to meet,” Larry said.

I was already heading out and a driver was waiting in front of the center with a black sedan. The rain had stopped, but it was windy and cold. I hopped into the backseat of the car and removed my helmet. “Someone?” I continued with Larry.

“You said you wanted to meet someone crazy. I thought, why not kill two rats with one spoon?”

“Are you sending me on a blind date?”

“Connection’s getting fuzzy, can’t hear you,” and the communication ended.

As we got on the freeway, I saw four separate apartment complexes on fire. Everywhere I looked, the buildings were dilapidated. I couldn’t help but wonder, Los Angeles, how is it you look worse every time I come back?

II.

Larry had never actually arranged a blind date for me alone (he always accompanied me) so a part of me was curious what kind of a girl she was, even though I already knew what I was going to tell her. “Thank you, but I’m not interested in dating at this time.” Especially not while I was in Los Angeles.

We headed towards the San Fernando Valley via the 5 Freeway and the driver pointed out the new suit and wig that were waiting in the back. I had no interest in either, though I did feel the wig which was a marvel. It was hard to believe they got horse hair to feel this real. I put it back as I never accepted anything from Larry unless it was for official business. He already had a thousand sycophants and I wanted to maintain a line of balance between us as friend and employer.

The Absalom Institute of Hair was fenced off and isolated among a series of hills. We had to go through three security gates, passing by two massive parking lots. I was disappointed that what awaited was a plain-looking building painted brown with curtained windows. Why was this building so closely guarded? Aside from a lawn and three people smoking out front without armor, there wasn’t any indication of something special. I stepped out of the car and it was blazing hot, even though the sun was going down. The clouds had dissipated. I walked through the front door and came to a lobby with copied Impressionist paintings on the wall. There were metal chairs that looked uncomfortable, several doors in the hallway, and a lady at the reception desk who looked up at me. It reminded me of a doctor’s office. “You’re late,” the woman said. “I’ve been waiting thirty minutes. You don’t need armor in here.” She was wearing a brunette wig and had a Eurasian look to her. I didn’t know if it was the makeup or her natural complexion, but the texture of her skin was tanned, a brownish hue that made it seem like she’d had been exposed to just the perfect amount of sun. She had a big forehead and a strong jaw that puffed out her cheeks and made her face seem square. She was wearing a dress that looked brand new, a cross hybrid between a yellow cardigan and red skirt. It looked like she’d prepared for our meeting and I wondered if she was disappointed at the sight of me in my armor. She stood up and was several inches taller than me. “Should we go?”

She led and I followed, taking off my helmet.

“Where are we going?”

“To eat,” she said.

We went through the third door on the right, then the second door on the left, through the hall, down a set of stairs to a room with ten round dining tables. The food was already prepared on our corner table — salad and tofu steaks. “This is where we usually greet outsiders without security clearance,” she explained. “I hate eating out in California. Just to get to the restaurant, you have to pay a parking fee, 35 % state tax, and 25 % tip on top of the meal.”

I nodded knowingly as we sat down and started to eat. “Where is everyone?”

“In the lab, down below,” she said.

I assumed the underground structure beneath the building was the reason for all the security. “What goes on down there?”

“Actually, I’ve never been so I don’t know the specifics.”

“How long you work here?” I asked.

“Almost three years now but it’s very hush hush. Still, I’ve always wanted to work in hair so I don’t mind.”

“Why hair?”

“My mom used to own a chain of hair salons but after the Baldification, all her stores were finished. We grew up real poor like everyone else in the hair industry and I just wanted to understand what caused the whole mess. Larry speaks very highly of you. He tells me you film all his movies?”

I nodded. “He saved me from a life of mediocrity.”

“Oh?”

“We served together in Africa and after I was discharged, I got a job working as a digital pusher at SolTech. It was hell. I mean, the army, I got that I had to follow orders. But the politics were even worse at SolTech. Larry gave me a chance to be independent and I enjoyed shooting his films.”

“I like Mr. Chao’s films. The lighting and the cinematography are beautiful.”

I was surprised that she had seen them. “Thank you. Do they-do they study the Baldification here?” I asked, curious about the facility.

“Mr. Chao didn’t tell you?”

I shook my head. “He just told me to pick up a package.”

Confusion flitted across her face. “He told you about this dinner though?”

“Actually, he mentioned it while I was on the way here.”

She sighed. “Mr. Chao and Dr. Asahi spent the last month hounding me about this. I finally agreed because she told me you were begging to meet me.”

“I’m sorry, but that’s not true. I gotta be honest. I–I just got out of a marriage,” by which I meant a few years, “and I’m not ready for a relationship. I’ve told Larry that several times.”

“I have no interest in relationships either,” she said. “I’m focused on my career. But Mr. Chao told me you were so depressed that if I didn’t meet with you, you might do something extreme. I can see that isn’t true. Besides, you’re too short for me. I don’t like short guys.”

“I don’t like women taller than me,” I replied, peeved by her comment.

“That’s settled then. I don’t want to waste my time. Why don’t we just eat dinner and go?”

“Why even have dinner? I can just take the package and go.”

“Even better. I was only being respectful to the chefs because they prepared the food.” She picked up her plate, said, “Stop by my desk after you’re done,” and left the room.

I called Larry.

“How’d it go?” he asked eagerly.

“I was expecting someone a lot crazier.”

Larry laughed. “You know I like messing with expectations.”

“Is that why you told her I was depressed and begging to meet her?”

“Rebecca’s as stubborn as you are,” Larry answered. “She’s been divorced four years and she still hasn’t moved on. Just like you. I needed to give her motivation.”

“My situation is different.”

“Oh c’mon, man. You know you’ve been moping too long. You haven’t even been with another woman since Linda. That’s a really long time. I can’t imagine what that’s like.”

“Hey, man. That was in confidence. You can’t use that against me,” I protested.

“I’m not using it against you. I’m just stating my — amazement at your abstinence.”

“Forget it,” I said. “What is this place?”

Larry shook his head. “Can’t tell you over the phone. I’ll tell you when I see you. You have the package?”

“Not yet. I was about to go grab it. You want me to drop it off when I get in?”