Rafael Yglesias - Hide Fox, and All After

Alec, broadly smiling, leapt forward impetuously, saying in a baby voice, “Steyphie, how awe you?”

Stephie lowered her eyes. “Aw, Alec.”

Raul gagged, Richard shuffled slightly, and Amy, swinging her not obese but formidable shape, said impatiently, “Are you going to let us in or not?”

Alec drew his arm to his side, shifting his position so that he faced forward. “Hop to it, Richard me boy, hop to it.”

Richard opened the car door, Stephie sliding cozily in next to Alec. He then threw the bucket seat forward, creating havoc in the front, letting Amy into the back. Raul gazed with awe at the massive figure that accentuated his thinness.

Richard quickly and angrily stepped in, a bellbottom twisting about his leg. He slammed the door.

“Wichie, why didn’t you tell mee to wait, instead of cwushing mee wike that.”

“Why,” Alec asked in her voice, gently lifting a hand, “did oou hurt oouself?”

Alec’s mimicry had always been jovial; Richard and Stephie seemed to put it down to his frivolous character. If it ever insinuated too much, Richard thought it to be jealousy. Two years ago, Alec had made a brief try.

Richard gloomily started the car and said, “You should have been able to see that for yourself.”

“Well, Wichie, how was I suppos’d to know?”

Alec jauntily ignored the tension. His hand swung about, slapping Raul hard on the leg. “What about that? Isn’t it incredible the way she talks?”

“And it’s real?”

“Yep, completely real.” He gave a boisterously hollow laugh. “Can you believe? Isn’t it just insane?”

“It’s so unreal, it makes me squirm.”

Stephie turned a baby’s amazed face to Raul. “Whaa? What did oou say?”

Raul’s voice became deep, husky, and bemused. “Nothing. I said nothing.”

Alec laughed. “He said it makes him squirm.”

Stephie turned about like a hurt doll. “It isn’t nice. The two of oou tawking about mee that way.”

“Aw, Stephie, I’m so sowwy.”

Amy, still as a statue except for a slight narrowing of her eyes, said, “Stephie, will you stop being a target for them.”

Alec’s cocky look dropped like scales from his face. He turned cold, ironic eyes to Amy, who met them with perfect equanimity.

Raul said in a quiet, soothing voice, “I don’t think Alec meant any harm. I think it was his way of expressing admiration.” Raul looked out on Riverside Drive and smiled wanly.

Alec smiled and turned back. Amy’s face dropped its rigidity for a moment, but turned to Raul in wild attack. “I notice you left yourself out of that.”

Raul blinked his eyes and cocked his head in wonder. “I don’t understand.”

“I guess not.”

Raul smiled, Alec snorted. “Oh!” Raul said, “you mean, you said ‘them,’ and I only explained what Alec meant?” Amy made no response. “Right?”

She closed her eyes in suppressed irritation, mimicking, “Right.”

“Ah, I see. All I, uh, meant, as it were, is that I wriggle, squirm — have mute, undefinable longings when I hear Stephie speak.”

Richard laughed in a husky voice, Alec convulsively.

“I suppose,” Amy said with bitter scorn, “you’re an actor too.”

Raul’s black jacket assumed grandeur, his equine, shadowed face twinkled briefly. In a drawn-out whisper, he said, “Ah, ’tis so.”

“I thought so — all actors are egotists.”

Alec stamped his feet in rhythm. Raul stamped his as chorus. Alec shook his head wildly. “Man, oh, man, oh, man. Cunt’s puttin’ us down, man.”

Raul bent forward and said in a serious voice, “Do you know, Alec? All actors are egotists.”

“All politicians fart.”

“With fervor?”

“With gaseous joy.”

“Never without precision, though.”

Like a hissing snake, Raul turned to Amy. “Only good actors are egotists.”

“But, Raul,” Alec asked, “is it true then that only good politicians fart?”

“No. Only good politicians revel in the incestuous pleasure of their beds.”

Alec hissed and whined. “ ‘At game, a’ swearing.’ ”

“ ‘When he is drunk asleep.’ ”

“ ‘Or in his rage.’ ”

‘“Or about some act that has no relish of salvation in it.’ ”

They hissed and whirled like a mad chorus, both subsiding simultaneously, staring vacantly ahead. Noiselessly, Raul said, “Like so, are the idiots served who speak with arrogance of actors.”

Amy curled a contemptuous lip. “The two of you are a drag.”

Raul said, “ ‘Your words fly up, your thoughts remain below.’ ”

“ ‘Words without thoughts, never to Heaven go.’ ”

“Charming, Alec.”

“I bow to you, Raul.”

“The princes satisfied, my lord?”

“Their stiletto sings.”

“Close the scene, my lord?”

“In silence…”

“… we are cloaked.”

They both raised their hands to heaven and in exact timing folded them demurely in their laps. They sat monklike — serene and angelic, with traces of irony about their lips.

Richard shook his head. “The two o’ ya are crazy.”

Stephie pursed her lips. “Oou’re so funny.”

Amy stared out the car window in irritation. “They’re typical.”

“Well,” Raul said, sighing, “there goes my cloak.”

“Be quiet, will you?” Amy said to him. “I have a headache.”

“ ‘This physic but prolongs thy sickly days.’ ”

“What is it you two are quoting?” Richard asked.

Raul said severely, “Hamlet.”

“Shakespeare’s Hamlet. We have been quoting the speech in which Hamlet decides not to kill Claudius, since he is praying.”

“The well-known apex of the Shakespearian tragic pyramid. From that point on, one character after another gets bumped off.”

“Did they talk as much as you two do?”

“Man,” Alec said, shaking his head sorrowfully, “the cunt just keeps on putting us down.”

“A severe bitch never learns.”

Stephie turned a hurt face. “Will oou stop tawking wike that.”

“Aw, now you see that, Raul, we’ve hurt Stephie.”

“My ass.”

“Now you’re insisting on being naughty, Raul, I can just see that. Now if you insist, if you just insist on making an ass of yourself, I just…I just don’t know what I’ll do.” And he burst into tears.

“Aw, now Alec, don’t get upset. I’m sowwy. I’ll be good. Promise.”

“Do you cross your heart and hope to die?”

“Fuck, man, I’m an atheist.”

“Oh, come on, how low are our jokes gonna get?”

“We should never have abandoned our cloaks.”

“You sure shouldn’t have,” Amy said.

Raul smiled and shook his head. “Oh, you’re subtle, very subtle.”

“Supple, very supple.”

Raul laughed loudly, giving Alec a congratulatory slap on the back. “We’d better end on that, while our luck’s running good.”

Richard slowed the car, pulling over to the sidewalk.

“Are we here?” Raul asked, amazed.

Richard nodded.

“How convenient life is to our purposes, is that not so, Alec?”

Stephie slid out of the car.

“That’s so, isn’t it?” Alec said absently.

Amy, shaking with the desire to get out, said to Richard, “Will you hurry up?”

Alec and Raul laughed. Richard, moving slowly, pulled the bucket seat forward. Amy stepped out. She and Stephie were thrown forward by the wind from Riverside Drive, their coats wrapping about their legs. The wind howled out New York’s noise, and the sun bathed the apartment fronts in quiet and ease.

“Break a leg,” Raul called.

“Pull a tooth.”

“Disjoint an armpit.”

Their voices rose strangely in the wind, and their tones rebelled against the lonely quiet of the sun. “That was awful,” Alec said softly.