Caryl Phillips - A Distant Shore

“It is the place for the train.”

As they move in the direction of the light, Gabriel reaches over to take the boy from Amma, and for the first time since she jumped from the train she allows him to feel the weight of her child. She walks on, unburdened, and Gabriel feasts his eyes upon the graceful lines of her body.

A few hundred yards beyond where the guide relieved himself, he stops and gathers them around. Although there is no need to whisper, the man speaks quietly.

“We cannot go the whole distance by this road, for there are guards and police between here and the train. However, beyond this turning there is a bridge. The train passes below the bridge and you will drop down onto the top of the train.”

Gabriel can hardly believe what he is hearing.

“Onto the top of the train?”

The two other men are equally animated in their disbelief, but their guide is indignant. He raises his voice now and begins to gesticulate.

“What did you expect? Did you expect to travel in the train?”

Gabriel speaks up. “Yes, in the train, please. In the train.”

The man simply laughs. “You people are stupid.”

Gabriel turns to Amma, who seems unperturbed by this news.

“We must demand the return of your money. This seems too dangerous.”

Amma shrugs her shoulders. “Let us wait and see the bridge. It may be possible.”

But Gabriel is adamant. “You have your child. You cannot jump from a bridge with your child!”

“We have come this far. Let us at least take a look at the bridge.” Gabriel stares at her, but Amma will not back down. The guide turns and walks off in the direction of the glow in the sky, and his charges have little choice but to hasten after him. A few hundred yards down the road he stops abruptly and again he points.

“Now we cross this field to the bridge.”

The man leads them up off the road, and they begin to make their way across a deeply rutted field that is thickly overgrown with thistles and brambles. Amma reaches for her child to relieve Gabriel of the burden, but Gabriel makes it clear that he is comfortable with the boy’s weight.

When they reach the far side of the field they see the bridge, which has a slight arch so that the middle part is higher than the rest. It is a narrow bridge, not broad enough for a car, but wide enough for two people to walk across, shoulder to shoulder. To reach the bridge the guide pulls back a piece of fencing that looks like it has already been cut. Lying discarded by this gap in the fence is an empty Coca-Cola can and a half-dozen chocolate wrappers. There are muddy footprints, which make the grass slick, but one after the other they all pass through the fence and then step onto the bridge. Gabriel looks over the edge to see how far the drop is, and he is relieved to discover that it is not nearly as far as he had feared. The two other men also look and then laugh, but theirs is a nervous laughter. The guide watches them, but he seems agitated, as though he is ready to leave. He looks first one way and then the other, but Gabriel is scrutinising this man who, for the first time, seems unsure of himself.

“The train will come from this direction.” The guide points towards the light. “You will jump from here as it emerges on the other side.” He stands now in the middle of the small bridge and glances at his watch. “The train will be here in one minute.”

Gabriel looks at Amma, but she seems calm. The guide continues.

“It is better to drop down onto the train. Better than to jump. And you must land on the wagons at the rear of the train, for these are for cargo. Nobody will hear you if you drop on top of these carriages. Now please, you must get ready.”

Amma busily ties her child securely into her bosom, wrapping yet another layer of cloth around him. The restless guide rubs the lenses of his thick glasses with his fingers.

“You must lie flat and still on top of the train. You will pass through a long tunnel, but do not be frightened. Then it will be England, but do not get up or show yourself until you reach London. You will know that it is London, for you will be in a big station with a roof. The train will stop and doors will open and you will hear people and announcements. If the train stops before this you must not get up, do you understand?”

The two men nod. Amma finishes binding her child to her bosom, and then they hear the noise of the train approaching. The guide jams his glasses back into place.

“Remember you must lie flat.”

Gabriel looks at the train as it comes into view, but he can immediately see that it is travelling too fast for Amma to jump. The two men are already hanging over the side of the bridge, and now the guide turns to Amma, but Gabriel moves to stand in front of her. The guide is flustered.

“Quick, you must hurry.”

Gabriel raises his voice over the noise of the approaching train. “It is going too quickly. She cannot do this.” Gabriel can see that Amma wants to speak, but he is adamant. He takes a step towards the guide and holds out his hand. “The money.”

The guide laughs and turns from Gabriel. The train is now passing underneath the bridge. Gabriel can feel Amma tugging at his sleeve, but without bothering to turn around he simply cries, “No.” Gabriel watches as the two men let go of the bridge and fall on top of the train. They roll onto their sides and then one man reaches out and grabs the other in order to prevent him from falling. And then suddenly they are gone from sight as the train speeds into the distance. The guide turns from the train and looks at Gabriel.

“What is the matter with you?” He holds his hands out wide. “The girl could have been on the train.”

“It was going too fast,” says Gabriel.

The guide laughs and begins to walk off, but Gabriel shouts.

“The money.”

The guide stops and turns around to face Gabriel.

“I have to pay the guards. If there are three people, then I pay for three. If only two jump, then it is not my problem.”

Amma takes Gabriel by the arm. “Please, the money is not important.”

Gabriel, however, is determined. “You have stolen our money.”

The guide walks back towards Gabriel. “Please do not call me a thief.”

Gabriel is adamant. “You have taken Amma’s money.”

The man now points towards Amma. “She decided not to jump. This is not my fault. If I am caught I will be imprisoned. But I take this risk.” He bangs his hand into his chest as he speaks. “I take the risk. You understand?”

Amma turns and moves away from the bridge. She passes back through the gap in the fence and then she begins to walk across the field. Gabriel wants to say something more to this man, but he cannot take his eyes from Amma. He turns and runs after her, but when he reaches Amma she ignores him.

“Are you angry with me?”

Amma continues to walk.

“I am trying to help you, yet you treat me as though I have done something that has offended you.” Amma stops in the middle of the thorny field, and for the first time Gabriel can see the tears in her eyes.

“Why,” she asks, “do you insist on arguing with this man? He is not going to give you the money and he may be dangerous. You put us in danger. You put my child in danger.”

Gabriel listens and he is shocked by how emotionally distraught Amma appears to be.

“I am sorry.” He speaks quietly, and as he does so he moves to hold her arm, but she pulls away. “I did not know that you were frightened.”

Amma’s eyes continue to blaze. “Of course I am frightened. The man can keep the money, I have a child to protect.”

“I am sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?” She looks contemptuously at Gabriel. “It is men like that man who raped me and made me sick.”