Caryl Phillips - A Distant Shore

“I understand.” Gabriel pauses, and then he continues. “Can you please send a letter to the family of the man who used to be with me in my cell. He asked me to help him before he left the earth and went to heaven.”

“He died? How did he die?”

“He died in the cell and they let him lie there on the floor like a dog.”

The woman looks up at the warder.

“Is this true? You left this man in a cell with a dead man?” Katherine glares at the warder. “Well, is this true?”

“You’ll have to speak to the boss. None of my business. Anyhow, your time’s up, Miss. I’m afraid you’ll have to go now.”

The woman turns back to Gabriel. As she stands up she straightens her trousers. “I’ll look into this, and if there’s any way of contacting his family I’ll let you know.”

Gabriel gets to his feet.

“He asked me to inform his brother. I promised Said that I would do this for him.”

The woman reaches up and places a hand on Gabriel’s shoulder.

“Get a good night’s rest and I’ll see you in the morning. And try to remember anything that you can about the girl. The more you remember, the better it will be for you. Stuart may be a little blunt, but he’s your best hope.” Gabriel nods. “Think about it, Gabriel. You must remember something about the girl. Anything will help.”

The warder takes a step forward.

“I’m sorry, Miss, but you’re already way beyond your time.”

Katherine picks up her bag and hooks it over her shoulder.

“Until tomorrow, Gabriel.”

The warder points to Gabriel.

“You can sit down there and wait. I’ll be back in a moment.”

Gabriel listens as the door is unlocked and then locked back again. He sits alone in the room and looks at the empty table. He knows that at some point in the future he will probably have to start to remember about the girl, but he is not ready. Not yet.

During the day there is a thin strip of light at the edge of the plastic window screens, but at the moment everything is black. Everybody in the compartment is asleep apart from Amma, who takes this opportunity to feed her child without having to endure the heavy scrutiny of men’s eyes. Gabriel speaks to her in a whisper, repeating the same plea that he has been making in a variety of ways for much of the past hour.

“But you must try and reach England. They are friendly and will give you food and shelter. We are not welcome in France. I will help you.”

Amma listens and then she looks at her child. She speaks without raising her eyes.

“I do not wish to be a burden to anybody. My husband told me that if they kill him, then I must learn to be by myself. I must trust nobody.”

Gabriel reaches into the pocket of his jacket and offers her a piece of bread that he has hidden there. Amma takes the bread and thanks him. Gabriel watches as she breaks off a small piece, then carefully breaks the small piece into even smaller pieces and feeds them to her child.

The door slides open and Joshua’s exhausted face is suddenly staring at them. Gabriel understands and he climbs slowly to his feet. He tries not to disturb any of the other men as he slips out into the corridor, and he carefully closes the door behind him. The uniformed men still stand guard at either end of the carriage, but they ignore Gabriel and his uncle.

“Is everything all right?” asks Gabriel.

“We will be in Paris within an hour. The train will stop just outside of the station and everybody must get off. For those who want to go to England, there will be a bus that will take them as far as the tunnel.”

“And what happens then?”

“They keep telling me that it is possible to go to England. That is all that I know.” Joshua pauses, and then he lowers his eyes. “I will not be coming with you. Another journey, and this time without these men.” Joshua glances down the corridor and then shakes his head. “It is too much for me.”

Gabriel stares at the older man, but he knows that it would be disrespectful to argue with an elder.

“Do not say anything, my nephew. Go back inside and get ready. Everything will be fine.”

But Gabriel already knows that for many of them everything will not be fine. In the past few days his uncle has aged many years, and Gabriel feels as though he too has added considerably to his thirty years. Despite his uncle’s assurances, Gabriel knows that in many ways their journey is only now beginning. And only the strongest among them will survive.

When the train stops, Gabriel opens his eyes. He listens to the thunder of footsteps as people rush by in the corridor, and then he hears a knock on the door and once again his uncle’s tired face appears in the doorway. Gabriel jumps to his feet and then everybody stands and begins to gather their belongings about them. Gabriel positions himself closest to the door, but Joshua blocks their path into the corridor. A constant stream of men flows past them, and then one of the uniformed guards appears and bellows at Joshua.

“Now!”

Joshua steps to one side, and Gabriel follows the uniformed man the full length of the train corridor, through the open train door, down onto a metal step, and then he makes a short leap onto the dirt below. Gabriel dusts himself off and then stands to one side ready to catch those who will jump after him. One by one they jump, until Amma appears. Gabriel reaches up his hands for the child, whom she passes to him, and then she leaps and pitches forward, but two of the men catch her. After Amma there is only Joshua, who looks around before edging his way down onto the step, all the while clutching the hand rail. Joshua looks directly at his nephew and then jumps. Gabriel moves forward to pick him up, but Joshua is already climbing to his unsteady feet and dusting himself off. Joshua points towards a man with a rifle slung over one shoulder.

“If you wish to go to England, then you must go with that man.”

Without bidding farewell to his nephew, Joshua begins to half-limp, half-run towards an embankment, and then he slithers over the edge and disappears from view. In the distance Gabriel can see a wide ocean of lights, and he realises that this must be Paris. Amma waits patiently for Gabriel to either move towards the man with the rifle or say something, but Gabriel remains silent. Somewhere in the pit of his stomach Gabriel knows that should he fail in his efforts to reach England, then there might yet be an attempt to lose himself among these lights.

Three hours later the bus stops for the first time. Gabriel rubs his eyes, but having found it impossible to achieve any sleep he has been simply drifting in and out of consciousness. However, the others on the bus have not only been sleeping, but most of them remain asleep. Gabriel looks at Amma, who lies sprawled on the back seat of the bus, her child so tightly wrapped up in the folds of her dress that it is impossible to see him. He wishes that he had some water to offer to her, but his thoughts are interrupted by the driver, who stands and opens the door and then turns around and stares at his two dozen passengers. He claps his hands and begins to shout, achieving his desired effect of startling everybody. Then he claps his hands again and redoubles his shouting. This time he points into what Gabriel can now see is the twilight that precedes dawn. “Go! Go!” Clearly this is his only word of English and he is using it with vigour. Those at the front of the bus begin to stand and leave. Gabriel makes sure that Amma is awake, and then he stumbles down the aisle. Once they have all alighted, the bus pulls quickly away and they now realise that they have been set adrift in the French countryside. Gabriel looks around and sees that to either side of them are wheat fields, and before them lies a narrow country road which quickly disappears into a tight bend. His fellow travellers look helplessly at each other, but as the sky brightens it is clear to Gabriel that in the field beyond the one to their left, there is a cluster of tents and he can also see plumes of smoke twisting into the air.