Caryl Phillips - Crossing the River

Thursday 8th April … Hoisted the yawl upon the deck for she could hardly keep swimming alongside. Carpenter at work. He informs me he shall be obliged to remove every foot of plank in her bottom, being quite destroyed by the worms. The Surgeon informs me that 5 of our white people and some 11 slaves with the flux, but none without a prospect of recovery…

Friday 9th April Fair weather. Sea breeze. At 9 a.m. went on shore, but Mr Ellis not being upon the beach, I determined to follow him to his town. Bought a man from a stranger and sent him aboard. Then set out. Reached Mr Ellis just before dark. He promises if I will stay 21 days he will sell me as many more slaves as I can purchase, with good assortment, after which time I will be fully slaved.

Saturday 10th April Set out from Mr Ellis at sunrise, and got safe on board by 3 p.m. Saw 3 other vessels passing down, and feared that they might hurt my trade. Mercifully, none anchored by us. At 6 p.m. George Robinson seduced a woman slave big with child, and lay with her in view of the whole quarter deck. I put him in irons. I suspect this has not been the first affair of the kind on board. Her number is 72…

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Thursday 15th April Went on shore, met Mr Ellis, got only 7 men slaves from him. He says I must wait, for he has been as much disappointed as myself…

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Saturday 17th April … When we were putting the slaves down this evening, one that was fevered jumped overboard (No. 97). Got him in again but he died immediately between his weakness and the salt water he had swallowed. To remain much longer on the coast may affect my interest and diminish my expected profits. I am yet unable to judge when I shall probably weigh for the Americas.

Sunday 18th April This morning perceived an English snow at anchor, run in and went on board her; the Dolphin , Freeman, 10 weeks from Liverpool, has been 6 days on the coast, brought me a letter from the owners which was well-received…

Monday 19th April Close weather with much thunder, lightning, and variable winds. At daylight had a canoe on board, with two young traders to offer their services. Matthew Coburn and Peter Ross of the river hereabouts, and I sent them back on shore with goods for rice, etc., and to look out for slaves. I grow impatient with Mr Ellis and am now determined to trade goods with any who can deliver up slaves. This afternoon the weather grew more agreeable. Loosed and aired the sails, discharged and reloaded the small arms…

Tuesday 20th April … This day buried 2 fine men slaves, Nos 27 and 43, having been ailing for some time, but not thought in danger. Taken suddenly with a lethargic disorder from which they generally recover. Scraped the men’s rooms, then smoked the ship thoroughly with tar and tobacco for 3 hours, afterwards washed clean with vinegar…

Wednesday 21st April … Coburn and Ross came on board. Brought a large canoe-load of wood, but no slaves. I sent back 12 casks for water, and informed them of my desire to be supplied with more rice, and some fowls, etc. Buried a man slave (No. 8) having been about 10 days ill of an obstinate flux. This evening Mr Ellis’s shallop crossed the bar and requested that I put goods in her to the amount of 1000 bars. At 1 a.m. observed John Johnson illegally entering into the state-room scuttle and stealing brandy. Clapped him in irons.

Thursday 22nd April … Turned Mr Johnson out of irons and gave him a smart dozen. From sunset till midnight very coarse weather, hard rain, strong gusts of wind and a very high swell. In this commotion 2 girl slaves, who have long been ill of a flux, died. Nos 117 and 127.

Friday 23rd April At sunrise, a snow and a sloop, both French, anchored at Leeward. Close dirty weather, and a great sea tumbling in. At 7 p.m. departed this life Edward White, Carpenter’s Mate, 7 days ill of a nervous fever. Buried him at once. Put overboard a boy, No. 29, being very bad with a violent body flux. Have now 3 whites not able to help themselves…

Saturday 24th April At 8 a.m. calmed. Attended to the spare sails, discovered the rats to have done a great deal of damage. We are over-run with them, those cats we brought from England having long since departed. Towards noon saw Mr Ellis’s shallop with as much surprise as pleasure, for I had quite given her up. At 3 p.m. she came on board, brought 10 slaves, viz., 3 men, 3 women, 1 boy, 2 girls, 1 small boy. Mr Ellis excused his long stay on account of a general sickness which had seized them in the River, but he seems pretty well recovered. It appears his two partners linger at the point of death. Mr Ellis claimed to be in possession of 30 slaves, of superior quality, and he pledged them to me. He demanded 75 bars, which in these times would appear to be a good price. Trusted him with goods to induce him to return with slaves. Sent the punt in with water casks and instructions to come off with rice, yams, palm oil, etc.

Sunday 25th April … Mr Coburn and Mr Ross brought two small boys, under 3 feet 10 inches. Sent them in again with positive orders that we have little ones enough, at the price they now bear. Received from them twenty gallons of palm oil, 8 cwt of rice, besides yams and plantains. This afternoon, sent a grapnel to the yawl, gave her a heel each way and scrubbed her bottom. Likewise hoisted the punt in and cleaned her…

Monday 26th April At sunrise a stern sea breeze. Instructed the Carpenter to make a new rudder to the longboat. At 8 a.m. a large ship anchored here within us. The Mermaid , sloop, of New York. Then came up from to Leeward, His Majesty’s Ship, the Prince Edward , Captain Henry. Saluted him with 5 guns. This afternoon departed this life my Second Mate, Francis Foster, after sustaining the most violent fever. I am afraid his death will retard our trade, for he is very diligent, and always gained a great influence upon the natives. It stands fortunate that our ship is almost slaved. At sunset buried Mr Foster. Hoisted the colours to half-mast, fired a dozen minute guns. Will send the punt to the Prince Edward on the morning tide.

[West Africa, 25th April.

My Dearest,

These last few days have been amongst the most fatiguing I can ever recall. I, therefore, write to you in the hope of making some amends for this misfortune. Those, myself aside, who have experienced pleasant and agreeable evenings in your company, could never imagine the contrast between such sweet times, and the present miserable situation. I am continually assaulted by the combined noises of slaves and traders; suffocated by heat; and subjected to perpetual talking, the greater part of it to no serious purpose. Last night I managed some two hours of sleep, and I dreamed of you. I saw us walking together, and discoursing on the many things which have occurred since our parting. We took our repose beneath a heavily branched tree, and rehearsed that most happy of scenes, when you first gave to me your hand. I sat stupid for some time, and embarrassed you by my awkwardness. But my heart was so full, its beat heavy and irregular, that I knew not how to utter a word out. Your kindness and patience soon restored to me the use of my tongue, and we both concurred that the greater intimacies that have followed are the source of our supreme happiness. But then my dream was invaded by daylight, and the noise of people above my head broke the pleasing illusion. I submitted, most unwillingly, to a very different scene.

The principal cause of my sleeplessness, indeed, my distress, has been the unfeeling intransigence displayed by a certain Mr Ellis. At every opportunity, I ask after my dear late father, but he parries my enquiries. I have constantly demanded of him that he transport me to the very place where my late father, only two years past, lost his life, but he refuses to aid me. He can see plainly enough that I need to vent my grief, but he responds to my entreaties with the curious suggestion that my father traded not wisely, and with too much vigour. He goes on, and hints that Father cultivated a passionate hatred, instead of a commercial detachment, towards the poor creatures in his care, and he urges me to not err in this direction. But more than this he will not say, no matter how fervently I plead my case. I intimated that it was his Christian duty to let me set my eyes upon my father’s resting place, but Mr Ellis scorned the idea of any of my name claiming kinship with the Christian faith. I confess that I was unable to respond to this charge, for indeed my father held dear to the belief that the teachings of the Lord were incompatible with his chosen occupation, and that it was folly to try and yoke together these opposites in one breast. Yet Father made no mention to me of this hatred that Mr Ellis claims sealed his fate. My dear, I too must confess to deep feelings of revulsion, but hatred is a word altogether too fierce to describe my natural passions, for in the same manner that a continued indulgence in this trade and a keen faith cannot reside in one breast, one heart can surely not contain the warring passions of both love and hatred. This being true, then my father’s heart must surely have hardened on his final fateful voyage, either this or it was broken clean in half. It would appear that Mr Ellis seems determined to keep from me the more intimate details of this mystery, and it distresses me that his replies are so framed as to imply that my lack of years are the sole impediment to a fuller confession.