David Vann - Last Day on Earth - A Portrait of the NIU School Shooter

“I feel that maybe it wasn’t for recognition,” Mark continues, “but maybe because he studied these people and saw what they did, and he knew that Cho had mental illness as a kid. . I think that one of the Columbine kids was taking Prozac. Maybe he just saw some similarities in that. And he figures go out and show, you know? He could have just gone there on stage and killed himself and it would still have been tragic, and it would have been for everyone there, to see that and view that and live with that for the rest of their lives. . Did he do it because me and him had a fascination with school shootings, the psychology of it, so he did it because he knew I’d hear about this? I’d be like. . not for me, but I’m saying did he do it because he knew it would be out in the public? I don’t know. I’ve been struggling with, uh, the reason. He did a leadership guide for me and wrote these responses: How do you define success in your life? ‘Personally, I feel as though success is setting and achieving a legitimate and viable goal, without the aid of shortchanging oneself or inflicting harm onto others, be it directly or indirectly.’ Interesting, right? What do you think the most important things are in achieving such success? ‘I feel as though maintaining a moral compass and a sense of ethical conduct is paramount in achieving any degree of success.’ Interesting, huh?

“I did hear a story from one person who was sitting in front, stage right, in the front row, and when Steve started shooting, he went under the chairs and crawled underneath from the front to the back, and he could see Steve walking, like he could see his shoes walking by. So he’s crawling, against the wall more, and Steve’s looking for people. And then obviously people witnessed him doing himself.

“He controlled how long he was going to do this for, he controlled the room, for the most part, right, he controlled everyone in the room, and then he controlled his ultimate destiny, the destiny of himself. If you look at it that way, philosophically, it’s about controlling yourself and controlling your destination because you weren’t happy.”

It’s very odd to sit with Mark, Steve’s best friend, and talk about all this. Odd mostly because he’s so detached. No sign of emotion, just “curious about what went on in the mind of Cho,” now applied to Steve. He also still believes in Steve’s goodness, as do many of Steve’s friends and professors. Mark works in a corporate headquarters, and this seems a perfect place for someone with his interests to hide. He can remain completely anonymous. I sit with him for over three hours, taping our conversation, and we have months of emails and phone calls, but I still don’t know any details about his personal life.

Kelly answers Steve’s Lane Bryant email on February 3 with, “Nope, i didn’t hear of any man in black. . fill me in on the gruesome details! im going to tell the residents that the thunder is because jesus is angry, and probably because of something they did. world domination is what i work on in my free time as well. id even take a lower form of domination so long as i could kill people with no ramifications. but thats just me.”

The next day, Monday, February 4, is the day they’ve planned for sex and bondage, but after all the build, Steve feels sick. “Hey, I’m not feeling so well and just took some Tylenol PM, as I think I may have caught a cold. I’m sorry to cancel last minute, but the last thing I want is to get someone else sick.” Perhaps Steve is having stomach trouble as well. Stress and anxiety have always given him bowel problems, and he’s decided now to commit mass murder and suicide, so that must have an effect. He responds to Kelly’s “i hate contemporary theory more than i hate Mexicans. . and thats a lot” email with “I rarely get sick, but when I do, it’s usually pretty bad. I’ll spare you all of the wonderful details!”

He buys from Bounty Hunter and Top Gun Supply, and he writes a check to himself for $3000 cash, then changes it to $3001. He also buys a spring-assisted knife. The next day, February 5, he keeps buying. Two nine-millimeter magazines and holsters from Able Ammo. He pays extra shipping costs for second-day air and goes to a Marilyn Manson concert that night with Jessica. On the way there, he asks her, “What do you think happens when we die?”

He describes the Manson concert in an email to Kelly on February 11, three days before the shooting. He’s been planning mass murder for at least eight days at this point, but he’s still chatty: “By the way, did I mention that Manson was AMAZING live. Probably the best part was him burning a bible on stage. On a hilarious side note, some of the audience members were Neo-Nazi party members and held up a 3rd Reich (Nazi) flag throughout most of the concert. The minimum wage black security guards and illegal aliens (the security at the Aragon Ballroom is outsourced/privately contracted out) were not happy about this, but the guys told the security to fuck off. It was quite entertaining. Seriously, though, the antichrist superstar logo kind of resembles a swastika. Well, be sure to keep in touch, and don’t forget about me.”

Mark knew about the Manson concert, also, “but again, that was something I didn’t tell the cops, because they would blame it on Marilyn Manson. Steve respected Manson as well. He asked me to go, and in hindsight I should have gone, but he sent me this email: ‘I went to his concert on Feb 5th, in Chicago. . I’ve always wanted to see Manson live. I’ve always enjoyed his music, because beyond the initial shock value, all of Manson’s music is a criticism of contemporary politics, religion, and especially media in some way. If you ever get a chance, check out his autobiography. Jessica has it, and it’s very engrossing. A lot of his views make sense, but we are obviously obfuscated by his media image. Many casual observers don’t realize that most of his music is a euphemism for broader issues. Example: the song Dope Show has nothing to do with drugs at all but rather the zombifying effect of media icons on our consciousness. Although that is precisely his point, he wants to be a hyper-ironic figure that knocks the hypocrisy of humanity.’ When you see his writings, you can see that he just analyzed Manson probably the best I’ve ever seen it.” And Manson is perfect for school shooters, because he confuses the concepts of suicide and murder: Shoot myself to love you. If I loved myself, I would shoot you. What if suicide kills?

JESSICA SAYS THEY HAD A BLAST AT MANSON.She didn’t suspect anything was going on. But as Manson sings “Last Day On Earth,” Steve knows this is coming soon. The next day, February 6, he goes to Tony’s Guns and Ammo. He calls ahead, to make sure Tony will be open, and arrives a little after 5:00 p.m.

Steve looks at the display cases. He tells Tony, “I heard that a Glock is a good brand.” In fact, his godfather, Richard Grafer, has warned him against buying a Glock, but Steve is interested anyway, specifically in the Glock 19, a nine millimeter. Is it because this is one of the two pistols Cho used, the one that did most of the killing?

Tony tells Steve it is a good brand, and tells him about the different models. He asks what Steve wants to use the gun for.

“Target practice,” Steve says.

Tony offers to call the gun representative, who can answer any questions Steve might have about the Glock, and Steve says he’d like to do this. So Tony calls his dealer, Davidson’s, and lets Steve talk with a rep. The only question Steve asks, though, is whether it’s a good reliable gun.

Steve buys the Glock 19 for $554.60. This is the gun that will kill his five victims and himself. It’s an Austrian military gun, light, perfectly engineered to kill people, its only function. He then asks Tony about shotguns, says he wants to shoot skeet.