Thomas McGuane - Ninety-Two in the Shade

Nothing. She screamed again. Nothing.

“I can only do it when I’m excited.”

“Oh no you don’t. I told you: tired.”

“Then I can’t smash the glass.”

“You couldn’t anyway.”

“I could if I were excited.”

“What if we did the mop.”

“I could smash the glass.”

He went into the next room, where shortly the surge of water in a pail could be heard. As he did so, Bella Knowles sat on the floor and struggled out of her girdle. Skelton returned to the room with a pail of suds and a mop. Bella Knowles knelt on all fours before the small table upon which the wineglass rested, face raised pointblank to the glass, heaving with her wind exercises.

Goldsboro Skelton’s skepticism was visible as he plunged the mop into the suds and began to slop it foaming around Bella Knowles’s behind. After four full and foaming minutes, she inhaled deeply and shrieked like a banshee. The glass shattered.

Abruptly, she rose to her feet, weeping silently with pride, and flung herself into her ungrateful lover’s arms. She stood there a long time in a gradually enlarging puddle of suds; shards of crystal were scattered about the table. And somehow, the suds, the pail, the mop, and the crystal were “mute testimony” to a life of charisma and reversals, the tawdry and the magnifique: in short, the universal condition of total blandness decorated only here and there, like cheap raisin bread, with modern French philosophers in waterproofs.

Eight-thirty and Skelton was trudging for the dock. He would have dreaded this meeting less if it had been just a meeting with Dance, though he would still have dreaded it. In any case, he was now doing not what he wished to do but what he ought to do; and getting a gentle energy return from satisfying this minor imperative. Carter would be there, however; so would Roy Soleil; maybe even Myron Moorhen. All the way to the dock, Skelton was cultivating an air of reason. He did not consider this meeting to be a showdown; which is always an encounter of meat and blades for a hamburger reason.

Faron Carter held in his hand a forged-steel nozzle at the end of a large-diameter black hose that trailed in four lazy curves all the way out to a Gulf truck at whose wheel sat a harmless footling of the oil monsters. Into a filler pipe, Carter was directing a golden rush of gasoline that (final suspiration of vanished forests, dinosaurs, and simple monocot meadows) soon enough would drive bright metal billets of cam and piston to blue whir of propeller for getting from Point A to Point B. Otherwise, the petroleum drive for hotcakes is too well known for further elucidation; it contests munitions for the winning turkey. One thinks of the opossum, a simple marsupial widely known in this land is our land. When the mother opossum is on a trip and hunger calls, she reaches into her pouch and eats a baby ’possum; until eventually mother opossum is alone in the American Night with no one to call her “Mom.”

“Tom,” said Carter, “you been scarce as hen’s teeth. I don’t know when I seen you last—”

“Last time I saw you,” said Skelton, “I was laying on the bottom of the canal over there watching you and Roy Rogers driving around looking for me with a pistol.”

“Is ah that an admission of guilt?”

“Not unless you have concealed a court recorder in that palmetto.”

“Well, nice to have you around again,” said Cart, real friendly. “Your granddad come to our Lions Club luncheon yesterday and he and I had a chancet to visit awhile. Your old granddad is some character! He told me how much he was looking forward to you joinin the dock down here. And so am I! So am I…”

“Where’s Nichol at?”

“I’m over here!” Dance’s voice from behind the sea wall; must be in his skiff. That was a break: the chance to talk in private.

Skelton walked across the springy Bermuda grass toward Dance; he could just see the curve of Dance’s back as he bent over the engine, an oval of dark sweat in the center of the khaki shirt.

Faron Carter walked to the door of the bait shack and met Myron Moorhen, there risen from his desk at the sound of Skelton’s voice; columns of figures still seemed to hang in his ovine eyes. Beneath his jackknife nose his lower lip bunched in concern around the bright teeth of a lemur.

“I’ll be.”

“You’ll be what, Myron.”

“I didn’t nearly expect to see that incendiary show his face…!”

“I hadn’t known you to run you a court of inquiry on the subject!”

“Well, now what is the policy then?”

“We don’t have no policy. Nichol Dance had the policy. Nichol Dance you may just recall is the old boy lost his boat?” This last word soaring in ridicule.

“Okay, okay.”

“So he has the policy.”

“Okay.”

“And we live and let live or die and let die whichever the case may be.”

“I get it then,” said Myron Moorhen. “Ours is a policy of non-intervention and Dance’s is … is what?”

“Dry up, Myron.”

Myron wandered dutiful to the numbers. The shrimp tank aerator bubbled; and the whole place smelled to high heaven because a customer had left a wahoo on the tournament scale all weekend and it had turned.

Myron Moorhen started his Bic at the top of the third column and ran it clear to the last figure; where he moved its point horizontally to the word “debit.”

“What all is going to happen?”

“Someone is going to get killed,” Carter replied. “Myron, where did you put that wahoo?”

* * *

“I don’t see why a busted o-ring would cause the engine to quit.”

“All right now,” said Dance, “pay attention now.” He swung the engine over to one side. “The o-ring I’m talking about is right up here at the top of the drive shaft and keeps sea water from getting up here — right? — past the crank — right? — and killing the engine.”

“How did you know the o-ring was busted?”

“I figured it was, is how. Then I pulled the power-head and there it was in pieces.”

“How did the rest of it look?”

“It didn’t look good. I pulled the impeller in the water pump and the rubber blades were all deteriorated.”

“How does it run now?”

“Go up forward and start it.”

The engine turned over and caught quickly; but idled unevenly. “Not great,” Skelton was the first to say.

“Run it up another thousand.” The engine came up to pitch; but still rough. It was an old-timer. “Let’s see how it runs. I just changed the nineteen-inch prop it had for a twenty-one.”

Skelton freed the lines and sat down in the portside chair. Then Dance sat down and wheeled the boat away from the dock. It was not an unhandsome skiff, a very old Roberts made on Tavernier.

Dance said, “Lightning struck those little keys east of the Snipes day before yesterday; I have to make a quick run over there and see. There’s a lot of birds out there. I want to see how did they do.”

They ran directly across Jewfish and Waltz Key basins and jumped the bank behind Old Dan Mangrove because they had the tide. Skelton studied Dance handling the tricky run. He went up behind the Mud Keys and broke through to the Gulf just northwest of the Snipes and turned east, shutting down over sandy bottom so that the shadow of the boat on the bottom swung and pivoted as the wake overtook the boat. The skiff came to rest, locked to its shadow as though on a pendulum.

Skelton jacked up the engine by hand; it had no power tilt. Dance got up on the bow and poled them toward the beach in the thunderous old storm wash that came in off the Gulf. On the reef line, green rollers poured through the surge channels.

Dance threw the anchor high up on the beach; and they went ashore. Before they walked up into the beach grass they could see a couple of wild palms shattered by lightning, some with livid streaks in their smooth gray trunks. As soon as they were up on the higher part of the key, they found a number of white herons, little blue herons, and one wood stork, killed by the lightning. “Isn’t that a crime,” said Dance. The birds were already throbbing and heavy with worms, perhaps ten birds scattered as the lightning had found them, long wading legs crisscrossed, beaks pointing about ridiculously in this last idleness of death.