Alasdair Gray - Poor Things

I do not know what I would have done if Bella had not kept her arm linked with mine and if Baxter had not taken charge. The gravity of his bulk and manner filled me with childish hope as he said, “General Blessington. Mr. Hattersley. Someone told you when and where this marriage was to take place. The same person may have told you I am a rich man and a practising surgeon who has operated on royalty. Miss Baxter came to me three years ago with no memories of her earlier life. She has since lived with me as my ward, and I have made a will leaving her my entire estate. A year ago she freely engaged to marry my friend Dr. McCandless of Glasgow Royal Infirmary. General Blessington! Mr. Hattersley! Do you want the question of Miss Baxter’s identity settled by a judge and jury in a court of law? Or shall we first try to settle it by rational discussion? My home is a short walk from here. I invite you to it.”

The General said, “Tell him, Harker.”

A fourth man stood up and said he was General Blessington’s solicitor, and knew that Sir Aubrey wished to avoid damaging his wife’s reputation by a public investigation of private matters. For that reason only the General was prepared to tolerate a private discussion involving the following individuals. On one side himself, his solicitor, his medical adviser, his wife’s father, and Mr. Seymour Grimes of the Seymour Grimes Private Detective Agency. (As the last name was mentioned the fifth man stood up.) The solicitor went on to say that the General would allow, on the other side, Mr. Baxter and his friend Dr. McCandless. However, Sir Aubrey insisted that his wife Victoria Blessington await the issue of the discussion in an adjacent room. He had the best possible reasons for excluding her from it. He also insisted that the discussion be held in a suite of rooms he had engaged at St. Enoch’s Station Hotel. “You want to tell God and Candle who I am without me hearing?” cried Bella. “What do you say to that, God?”

“I say I will have nothing to do with it,” said Baxter calmly, “unless I am given a good reason.”

“Tell him, Prickett,” said the General. His medical adviser edged out of the pew then greatly annoyed Bella by leading Baxter aside and whispering in his ear. Baxter’s reply could be heard by everyone: “That is not a reason, it is a lie. I can prove it is a lie. This discussion will not take place unless Miss Baxter is a party to it, and unless it is held in my home. General Blessington and his entourage risk nothing by entering my home; but women have been abducted from British hotels by men who claim to be their husbands, and the police have not intervened.”

“Rightly!” barked the General. His solicitor looked hard at him. The General looked impassively back and for a while nobody seemed to move. Then some signal must have been given for in a low voice the solicitor told Baxter, “We will go to your home. Three hired cabs are waiting in the lane beside this building.”

“Three cabs can carry six people,” said Baxter. “Mrs. Dinwiddie, please return with these five gentlemen to 18 Park Circus. Show them into my study, light the fire and offer them refreshment. I and Miss Baxter and Dr. McCandless insist on returning by foot, but will arrive soon after you. Mr. Harker, please explain these arrangements to your employer.”

Baxter then turned his back on the solicitor and told the minister he would be paid for his inconvenience tomorrow and contacted again when the present misunderstanding had been settled. Then he took Bella’s free hand under his arm and the three of us went back along the aisle to the door. As we went though I felt I had been ten weeks inside that church, though it had been less than ten minutes.

How fresh, bright and healthy the foggy street and snowy roofs outside looked! Bella felt this too. She said, “I never thought our marriage would be such fun. Is that poor old man really my dad? We must try to cheer him up. Did I really marry that long thin stick with a mask on top? Ee, I am well away from him. Did all these men mean to kidnap me? For a moment they looked as if they would. I am glad you were with us, God. Candle would have died fighting for me but what use is a dead Candle to a kidnapped Bell? One blast of your lungs would have knocked flat the whole clamjamfrie, God, and they knew it. So at last it looks as if the mystery of the Origin of Bell Baxter’s Species is going to be solved. What did that medico whisper to you, God?”

“A lie. He will probably repeat it aloud and you will hear me contradict him.”

“Why are you looking so miserable, God? Why are you not as excited as I am?”

“Because you are going to learn that I too have told lies.”

“You? A liar?”

“Yes.”

“If you have lied to me how can there be any truth? Who can be any good?” said Bella, looking frightened.

“Truth and goodness do not depend on me, Bell. I am too weak. I am as poor a thing as General Blessington. Prepare to despise both of us.”

I knew of General Blessington long before Baxter read his name aloud from Wedderburn’s letter. In those days “Thunderbolt” Blessington was as popular with newspaper readers as Sir Garnet Wolseley and “Chinese” Gordon. Viscount Wolseley became commander-in-chief of the British armed forces. General Gordon, by getting the dervishes to dismember him, is venerated as an imperial martyr. My wife’s first husband has been less kindly treated. The Times of London and Manchester Guardian now ascribe his greatest actions to officers who were never named when the actions were first reported. The popular press follows their example. Why has the unhappy end of a brave warrior eclipsed a lifetime of patriotic effort? The best biography of him is still an entry in the 1883 edition of Who’s Who . He is not mentioned in later editions.

BLESSINGTON, Sir Aubrey la Pole, 13th Bart.; cr . 1623; V.C., G.C.B., G.C.M.G., J.P.; M.P. (L.) Manchester North since 1878; b . Simla, 1827; e.s . of General Q. Blessington, Governor of Andaman and Nicobar Islands, and Emilia e.d . of Bamforth de la Pole, Bart., Hogsnorton, Loamshire, and Ballyknockmeallup, Co. Cork; S. cousin 1861; m . Victoria Hattersley, d . of B. Hattersley, Manchester locomotive mnfctr. Educ.: Rugby, Heidelberg, Sandhurst. Commanded a native levy on the eastern frontier, Cape of Good Hope, 1849; expedition against the Swazanji, 1850–51 (severely wounded, mentioned in despatches, Brevet of Lieut. Colonel); volunteered for Crimea and served before Sebastopol 1854–56 (twice wounded and mentioned in despatches for repulse of five Russian sorties with very small detachment of the 4th Queen’s Own, Crimean War medal and three clasps, Order of Medjidie and Turkish War Medal); Brigade Major in charge of pursuing column in central India during the Mutiny 1857–58 (wounded, present at taking of the forts of Fumuckenugger, Bullubghur, storming of the Cashmere bastion and heights of Delhi, medal for India, bar for Delhi, Order of the Golden Fleece from Portuguese Crown for defence of Goa); Assistant Adjut. General, British Expeditionary Force to China, 1860 (wounded during the destruction of Yangtse shore batteries but present at the entry into Pekin and storming of the Summer Palace); Governor of Norfolk Island Penal Colony, 1862–64; Governor of Patagonia, 1865–68 (crushed the Tehuelches and Gennaken revolts without losing a man); Governor of Jamaica, 1869–72; Commander of Burmese Punitive Expeditionary Force, 1872–73; Lieut. General throughout suppression of first half-breed revolt N.W. Canada, 1874; Adjut. General, Ashanti War, 1875 (wounded, Victoria Cross); Commander-in-Chief of Militia in Canada, 1876 (injured by exploding bombard in tour of Quebec Province, thanked by Parliament with money grant of £25,000, 5th class Legion of Honour); Cons. candidate Loamshire Downs; Grand Warden of G.L. of Freemasons of England, 1877. Publications: While England Trembled, account of the government’s handling of the 1848 Chartist movement; Purging the Planet, a monodrama; Political Diseases, Imperial Cures, a lecture to the United Service Institute. Recreations: hunting, shooting, breeding thoroughbred stock, chairman of Manchester Humane Society Refuge for Waifs and Strays, personal supervision of experimental farm where slum orphans train for resettlement in the Colonies. Address: 49 Porchester Terrace, London. Clubs: Cavalry, United Service, Pratt’s, British Eugenics.