Bensalem Himmich - A Muslim Suicide

Like my delighted companion I could only marvel at the wonders of nature and be deeply affected by them.

"Umama," I said, "the essences of these plants and scents all aspire to their Creator, blossoming and flourishing so that they may receive wafts of divinity from light, dew, butterflies, and bees. Every single pulse you see comes only through the Spirit of the Truth."

We continued enjoying the magic of our stroll through nature till we had gone way beyond the hedgerows of figs and straw. Just then, two men caught up with us and asked us to go back the way we had come. The chief of the group was waiting for us. I left my wife and went over to greet him. His smiling response was mixed with a certain level of concern and aggravation. He accompanied me to my tent and sat down to have some breakfast. He handed me the present that he had been carrying under his arm: a brocade kaftan, a woolen undershirt, undergarments, headcloth, and shawl. I thought the gift was far too much, but I could do nothing but accept it. I thanked him and offered prayers for him, his family, and his tribe as a whole. I then asked him what the problem was.

"It's all fine, beloved of God," he replied kindly. "If you're not aware already that you're under my protection, then be aware of it now. Don't go outside the bounds of our territory, or else my guards will bring you back the way they did a few moments ago. If you want to go for a walk, it's better to take some of my men with you, but not your wife. My own shaykh, Al-Shushtari, committed you to my care, and the sharif of Mecca has also told me about your situation. My loyalty to both those men requires that I make sure that you are safe and sound."

I immediately understood what my breakfast companion was telling me, and promised to take all necessary precautions.

"Tell me, Hajj," I asked him, "has Sultan Baybars already arrived in Mecca, or not yet?"

"People say he's going to arrive either in the middle or toward the end of Dhu al-Qa`da. But his spies and agents have already arrived to make preparations for him to perform the pilgrimage and meet his other demands. He intends to grab the Hijaz and the holy territories and demand that the sharifs join his cause. He has also declared his intention of arresting you, holy man of God."

I was amazed that he knew so much about me. The only source of such information that I could think of was Governor Abu Numa or one of his confidants. My amazement was even greater when I heard him say the following:

"The contact between me and the governor is Yasir from Yemen, the warden of the Meknesi residence. A few days ago, Baybars's spies harassed him by asking a lot of questions about you. They did not get what they were looking for. He comes here in disguise either at night or by day to tell me anything new regarding Baybars, who's after your head."

"Then what's to be done, brother Hammuda?"

"The governor and warden are both agreed that you need to restrict your movements to this area and not beyond. When they both give the word, you and your wife are to disappear from view."

"But where can we hide?"

"Holy man of God," he replied, "your hiding place is right under your feet. Come with me, and I'll show you."

We both stood up, and my companion lowered the tent flap. He pulled my bed board back a little and removed some soil with his powerful hands. An iron door appeared, which he lifted up and put to one side.

"This is our underground storeroom," he said as he lit a candle, "so here's your hiding place. Come with me."

Following in his footsteps I descended a ladder leading to a wide cellar. When he lit some lamps, I could see bedding, floor covers, and furniture in the middle, while in the various corners were piles of sacks that, he told me, contained foodstuffs stored here for use during drought years. He showed me where the bathroom was and a hidden opening with a tunnel that led to another cellar with an exit into the desert.

The cellar had enough light to see by, and the air was breathable; there was certainly enough food to last for a while. On the back wall I noticed some weapons hanging, along with baskets of onions and garlic. Turning away, I offered words of admiration for this remarkable place. I then followed my guide back up the ladder. While he was replacing the soil and bed board, I declared myself completely satisfied with the plans. With that, he said his farewells and departed, assuring me all the while that only his very closest aides were aware of the cellar's existence.

Someone who is totally accustomed to spending time alone will never find disappearing for a while all that difficult. The slogan adopted by Shaykh Ibn al'Arabi was mine as well: "Seclusion brings with it knowledge of this world of ours." But how was I going to explain to my wife, Umama, what I would have to do in order to avoid imminent danger?

At night I allowed her to recount to me what she had been doing that day and what she proposed to do with the Maghribi women the next day. When she had finished, I decided that I had to tell her what the situation was with me and what I had to face. I whispered to her a brief but frank summary of things. When I finished, I was delighted to see how easily she had understood and how readily she agreed.

"A good wife sticks with her husband through thick and thin," she told me.

I was as pleased and relieved to hear it as I was when she told me that we had to be steadfast in resisting such trials and tribulations. Just before we gave ourselves up to slumber, she swore to me that what I had told her would remain a secret buried deep inside her heart.

In the ensuing days I stayed inside my tent, only leaving it when it proved really necessary. Umama busied herself with the usual chores and continued that way. When the first day of the pilgrimage month arrived, I was awakened by someone calling my name at the door of the tent. I had no doubt that it was my host, so my wife told me to hurry up and get ready. I went outside to check, and there was Hammuda, the head of the tribe, holding a huge basket full of food. He told me that Sultan Baybars had arrived in Mecca and urged me to go down into the cellar. He asked my permission to open it up, then proceeded to do so with great skill, apologizing to my wife all the while and urging her to grin and bear it. Just a few moments later, my wife and I, along with our belongings, were safely ensconced in our new abode. Our guardian had already lit the lamps and proceeded to hand over the basket, sacks of dates, dried fruit, a pitcher of water, oil, and honey. Before retracing his steps, he assured us that we would only have to stay down there for the pilgrimage season, no longer-God willing.

Umama now went to explore the place and its various corners and checked on the sacks and pitcher. She came back smiling. I decided to see how satisfied and happy she actually was.

"It's a cave," I said, "with no daylight and no sky above!"

"You proponent of seclusion and the ascetic life," she replied firmly, "do you really need those kinds of things? All you need to do is to close your eyes. In your mind's eye you can see light to envelop you and skies to give you shade. So now we can both close our eyes down here and seek peace and contentment."

0 God, grant us both a sleep of reason, not like that of the Seven Sleepers of Ephesus* or that of the dead!

God answered my prayer. When I opened my eyes, it was to see Umama cooking food in a corner that she had turned into a kitchen. When she brought over the dishes, I asked her if this was breakfast or lunch. "Neither," she replied, "it's almost dinnertime." I checked my astrolabe and found that it was not working. That may have been because the cellar was too deep; I estimated about fifteen meters. Our stay in this cellar was going to be something the like of which I had never experienced before: no way of telling the time; only candlelight; and no heavens above. But, praise be to God, we had enough food, water, and air. My wife made me relax, and I enjoyed both keeping her company and drawing close to the Necessary Existent, invoking to the extent possible His blessed beautiful names.