Josep Pla - Life Embitters

Over the next few days he reflected on his friend’s words. He had no reason to think Sr Rafel was joking. He believed he was too sensitive to laugh at his expense. He found it particularly difficult to imagine he had ever intended giving him a bad turn simply by making an impertinent suggestion that was in poor taste. Nor could he believe that Sr Rafel was at all envious or resentful. No, that was out of the question. On countless occasions he had shown he was an excellent friend. So what was Sr Rafel actually implying with his three sneezes in a row? wondered Sr Peret. Naturally , he told himself, these sneezes are symbolic. In this case, he is saying that, people like me who are so healthy, can easily be derailed by the smallest, most unexpected thing … But that’s so trite and commonplace! Everyone knows that, and it’s such an everyday occurrence … It happens day in, day out . And he finally concluded that Sr Rafel’s words were so stunningly obvious it wasn’t worth giving them a second thought.

Now, objectivity compels us to note that, even so, the logic of his deliberations wasn’t sufficiently strong to entirely erase from his mind the aberrant prophecy of the three sneezes. It would come to mind now and then — when least expected. He heard the church bell toll and thought of the sneezes. In the casino he’d hear news of someone in a bad way and the sneezes would come back to haunt him. He’d watch a funeral cortège in the street and the phenomenon was repeated. It was nothing at all really, mere coincidences. But it was true that the prophecy had lodged in his memory. It was an ember smoldering under the ash. Once the ash was taken away, it still glowed brightly beneath.

In 1919 there was a lot of (lethal) influenza about. One side effect was the rise in the price of hens and chickens. People gave convalescents — particularly in Barcelona — cups of chicken broth, and poultry was literally swept out of the hands of farming folk. The market in Torrelles was an unforgettable sight. One person who made the most from this surprise boom was Sr Peret or, rather — and it’s all the same — his wife. Sra Ametller had just happened to take a large collection of old hens — twenty brace — to the influenza-driven market.

Before dinner, Sr Peret and Sr Rafel met in the casino.

“Did you get a good price for your hens?” asked the latter.

“Yes, a decent sum! A good bit of business.”

“You’re so lucky! You’re a one-off! What’s more, I bet no one’s been ill in your house …”

“You guessed right. For the moment, thanks to God, we’re all well.”

“You’re all well and own hens into the bargain … What more could you want? You’re a prodigy.”

“Don’t exaggerate! I mean, I don’t think I’m so exceptional.”

“Oh, yes, you are, Peret. You are an exceptional case. I’ve told you so on different occasions and I’ll tell you again. That’s why I so fear on your behalf. I see you looking so plump and in the pink, then one day you’ll sneeze three times and we’ll be in deep trouble!”

“Oh, come, come!” said Sr Peret with a brusque wave of his arm, as if he wanted to swish away something that was annoying him, even though it was invisible.

Indeed, as he said that, his face suddenly blanched. Sr Rafel took one look and felt obliged to change the subject. In the years they’d been meeting he’d never seen his friend turn so pale for no reason at all.

The impact of this third conversation was much more powerful than the previous two. There’d been the identical reference to the three sneezes. These sneezes began to assume grotesque proportions in Sr Peret’s mind, they were at once laughable and distressing. He now wondered if the sneezes were symbolic — as he’d initially believed — or, on the contrary, if Sr Rafel was referring to real-life sneezes. This prompted him to explore the recesses of his own memory to try to recall clearly how his own body handled these nose-and-mouth eruptions. This investigation led him to realize he wasn’t a man prone to sneeze. It is literally impossible to visualize the sneezes one has sneezed in a lifetime. Sr Peret had sneezed — very rarely. He couldn’t be sure, however, that he had never sneezed three times in a row. At any rate, he hadn’t any precise recollections of ever doing so. He had always felt well, and still felt well! His health was splendid, always on an even keel. He wasn’t a man prone to sneezing — as he wasn’t a man who was always getting sick. Every thing about him had always worked and still worked perfectly. His almost complete absence of related memories revealed how normal he’d always been, down to the slightest details in his life. But it was precisely the absence of memories that gave the prophecy an obsessive, disturbing, unruly force.

To cut a long story short, we’ll say that Sr Peret was in his vineyard, as on so many afternoons. It was late September. The weather was damp, windy, and overcast. A year has two remarkable days: the winter day when, intuitively, one feels the good weather beginning, and the summer day when, using the same antennae, one notes the bad weather starting. That day in the second half of September was precisely such a day. It was dusk and Sr Peret was getting ready to take the path back to the village when, all of a sudden, he felt his back shiver. Then he felt a vague tickle up his nose. He quickly raised his handkerchief to his nose. He wasn’t quick enough. He sneezed and it seemed to thunder round his head. Then he sneezed again and felt deeply alarmed. He tried to plug his nostrils with his handkerchief. All a waste of effort. The third sneeze came quickly, right on cue …

Sr Peret was deeply upset. He stood there for a long while, though he was visibly wilting. His face seemed thoughtful and his neck twisted slightly. He felt his arms were about to drop off. He looked like a man who was depressed. He sat on the ground, next to a vine. His vineyard was enjoying the most flourishing moment in its yearly cycle. The vine-leaves were large and green. He sat motionless on the ground for ages, feeling ever more terrified. Then he made a strange movement, as if he felt the need to hide away: he went on all fours and dragged himself along until he was curled up under a vine. The things that can happen to a human being at certain moments in life, when nobody can see what they are doing, are astonishing and quite ineffable.

The family was surprised when they saw he’d not come home for dinner. It was so unusual they thought nothing of it and sat around the table without him. Such a situation had never arisen without prior warning ever since the family had existed as a family. They supped in silence, but when it was time for desserts, their alarm and nervousness was all too obvious. The elder daughter was sent to the casino and returned with the news that daddy hadn’t been sighted there. Sra Ametller thought for a second that she should inform the Civil Guard. They summoned their neighbors, and one of them suggested — one of the few who kept her cool — that, before doing anything else, they should take a look in the vineyard. Several people went, and when they reached the plot, the gardener joined them. They shouted out, but nobody replied. They searched every inch and finally found him sprawled under a vine. They questioned him but he didn’t respond. They lit a lamp and saw how wan and frail he seemed. Someone placed a hand on his forehead: it was still warm. The gardener ran off to get a stretcher where they lay Sr Peret. They knew it was urgent to take him home. So the stretcher set off, bearing sturdy Sr Peret under a blanket the gardener had rapidly supplied. The gardener and his son carried the stretcher. The group of people — sisters-in-law, neighbors, etc. — followed a few steps behind on what was a pitch-black, drizzly night.