Ali Bader - Papa Sartre

“Every day,” she replied. Her long chestnut hair fell over her shoulders, and her naked arms were as white as cotton.

That day Nadia was wearing a tight skirt that revealed her shapely legs. Her face was beautiful, pure, and pleasing as she looked into her cousin’s eyes. He berated her strongly, “You’re a Christian, and you love a Muslim!” She said nothing, but she wasn’t embarrassed and looked away as if thinking of something else. He pressed on: “You’re in love, aren’t you?”

“I thought you didn’t differentiate between Christians and Muslims,” she retorted.

“What about you,” he asked. “Don’t you draw a difference?”

“When I am in love, I don’t differentiate,” she said, “Love does not differentiate.”

He continued talking, his eyes moist, “I usually don’t discriminate, but when I fall in love I do.” He looked around the room and examined its contents, then got up and left, fighting back tears. Nadia was silent. She was sad, and as soon as the front door closed behind Edmond, she heard him break down. Moved, she sat on the chair where he had sat and she cried too.

77

Abd al-Rahman was mesmerized by Nadia when he saw her for the first time. Though she didn’t wear glasses, as he liked women to do, he couldn’t take his eyes off the snug clothes that molded her body and the distinctive paleness of her face, which was free of any haughtiness or oppression. He liked her calm self-confidence as well as her constant efforts to inveigle and impress him.

He didn’t mind her occasionally abrasive reactions, jokes, and allusions or her cool, reserved mien. On the contrary, these characteristics of hers piqued his interest, though they didn’t add to her sexual attraction for him. She was a little stiff and determined, firm even — qualities he liked because they set her apart from the prostitutes he had known in Paris. In a sense, she presented him with a field for discovery, a venue for adventure, a gamble, or an object to be captured and possessed. But he wanted to reach an objective opinion, one grounded in philosophical wisdom and logic without losing himself.

One day, sipping orange juice and laughing, Nadia winked at him as he was considering his options with her. She was trying to lick a drop of juice from her lower lip. He loved the way she pulled back her lips and closed her mouth without causing a stir.

Nadia perplexed him from the moment he first saw her. He couldn’t resist being attracted to her, but it wasn’t easy for him to engage her. She exhausted him with her affected reserve. Whenever he let himself go, she’d crush him with her charm, the same charm that had defeated Edmond before him. He was sapped by her naive sweetness. She provoked strange reactions in him. He was ready to believe anything she said and felt that she was scheming to control his heart.

He explained to her the importance of philosophy and insisted that he was not so naive as to believe that God had created the nose as a perch for glasses or that the feet were meant only for socks, or even that human beings were merely bait for Death. He told her about the theory of cause and effect, citing the example of a sailor who loses his teeth as a result of scurvy.

Abd al-Rahman was unable to hide his love for her, and with his love came jealousy. He adored her and, utterly helpless, surrendered to her every wish. He was convinced that he had to marry her because, simply put, she understood his philosophy and his wisdom; in other words, there was total harmony between him and her wisdom, her nature, and her ability to understand philosophy and put up with him. Based on his conviction that God created everything to serve him, he believed that she was the creature that God had intended for him. This thinking reflected his belief that he was the center of the universe.

The philosopher was well aware that love affairs do not end peacefully — or at least not the way he wanted them to end, simply and happily. He had to be extremely careful in setting out on this adventure and was even considering taking special precautions to end the affair at precisely the right time. Otherwise, what would differentiate him from ordinary people? He’d have to review the lives of all famous people, from Sartre to the hero of Brand Brooks adventure stories.

He needed love, and this time things were going well. His conscience bothered him only slightly. He was enjoying himself a great deal, free of the pain he had suffered in his pursuit of the Café de Flore waitress. His enjoyment possibly even exceeded the limited pleasures provided by Paris prostitutes. This love didn’t make him anxious but proceeded smoothly, like crossing a bridge, and was fired by the occasional nod or a smile when he left the bookshop.

The first time they went out, Abd al-Rahman took Nadia on a circuit of Baghdad. They went to the cinema and the Orient Express café and ended the tour in a well-known restaurant. She didn’t say a word the whole time and was somewhat moody. He didn’t appreciate her attitude and was about to lose his temper, having chatted the whole time about philosophy. He wanted her to know that there was a philosophy based on talk and that talking was a kind of purging that brings a perfect happiness. It was an art, the art of chatting with a beautiful young woman like her.

78

Nadia and her mother Helen were invited to Mrs. Adileh’s, in the Hasan Pasha district, to celebrate Easter. The young women of the house received them warmly, but Edmond was not there. Grandma Adileh’s living room displayed signs of her faith, such as the image of the Virgin Mary on the wall and the cross above the door. Samaan, Edmond’s uncle, was praying and sprinkling the house with holy water he had brought from the church. The smell of incense filled the house.

Umm Butrus was cleaning the windows, and her daughter was moving among the guests with a tray of sweets and nuts. The chatter of the young women, their soft laughter, and their high voices echoed throughout the house. The guests included many relatives — Aida and Georgette, Samaan’s daughters; Edmond’s cousin Nadia; Helen, Nadia’s uncle’s wife; and Anisa and Salwa, the daughters of Hanna Qushli. Friends and neighbors were there too: Marroki’s wife Suzan, also Jenna, Fladya, Amira, and others. Even their Muslim and Jewish neighbors were invited: Rahmeh; Hamdiya; Suad, the daughter of the former chief of police; Miyya, daughter of Abd al-Qader al-Mumayyez; Rafla al-Dawdi; and Karna Ajas, the pharmacist’s daughter. Their jewelry twinkled in the candlelight.

Suddenly Edmond entered. He immediately noticed Nadia, who was radiant with her beautiful skin, her fine figure, and her delicate fingers illuminated by the lights. He greeted each young woman with an affected smile, but when he stood before Nadia he felt his heart was about to break. Nadia had lowered her head to look at a book, and her eyelashes cast a slight shadow onto her cheeks. He greeted her with a reproach: “Hello Nadia, it has been a long time since you last visited Grandma Adileh!” Nadia did not reply.

Her transparent skin, well-drawn nose, and the twinkle in her almond-shaped eyes disturbed Edmond. Standing before her, he didn’t know what to do with himself. After a few seconds of hesitation he grabbed a plate of sweets and offered her some. She took a piece, opened her mouth wide to avoid smearing her lipstick, and then dipped her fingers into a glass filled with rosewater. He handed her his white handkerchief to dry her fingers, took it back when she was finished, and went to his room. There he sat facing Trotsky’s photograph and broke into tears. He was devastated to see Sartre triumph over Trotsky and could not bear the idea of Abd al-Rahman sauntering about the streets of Baghdad with Nadia, spending time with her in restaurants, enjoying her company.