Halle Butler - Jillian

“Eew!” said the girls.

“Adam, stand up,” said Miss Barbara.

Adam panted.

“Adam, stand up.”

He stood up.

“Come with me.”

The girls giggled.

As Miss Barbara walked him to the other side of the day care center, she said, “Now, I don’t know what it’s like being an only child, but a dog is not the same thing as a sibling. Do you understand? You can’t play the doggie and say you’re someone’s sister, it makes you look disturbed. Do you understand? You might not ever understand if you never have a sibling, but that is a sacred bond and a bond that cannot be shared with an animal. It’s perverse.”

She sat him down at a table and put a coloring book in front of him. “Now I want you to color these pictures in and do a good job.”

When she left, he started to mumble, “Roi ruff roo,” under his breath. “Roi ruff roo.”

The image Adam was asked to color was an Easter bunny. The bunny was holding a basket out to him. The basket had eggs in it. The bunny had no background, but he was wearing a waistcoat. Adam picked up a crayon at random and started rubbing it against the paper. It was soothing.

“Roi ruff roo,” he whispered, not to the bunny, and not to his family. His family. He looked up at them across the day care center. He had been abandoned by his family for asking for a higher position. Now they were eating their imaginary food and explaining the events of their imaginary days. Adam continued coloring while he looked at them.

Eventually, they noticed. His sister, Emma, widened her eyes at him and thrust her head forward a few times. A challenge to fight. He sighed and put his cheek in his hand. Sigh. He looked back down at his coloring job of the Easter bunny. “I don’t love you bunny, no offense,” he said.

Barb was walking around the room with her arms crossed, surveying all that was hers. All of these children learning about life and social systems and appropriate behavior. Pretty much learning about how things are, and learning it under her gentle guidance. A small boy, Louie, ran past her and she said, “Slow down, Louie.” She smiled. So simple. It was all so simple. Separate the ones who are fighting, give light reprimands, subtle suggestions, firm suggestions. So simple.

MEANWHILE, JILLIAN KEPT getting calls on her cell phone from the same number. She didn’t recognize the number and it made her nervous. She reached for a Pop-Tart and waited for Megan to go to the bathroom, then she checked her voicemail. It was the government, wanting to know when she’d schedule her court date, pay her fine, and bail her car out of the impound.

Megan looked at herself in the bathroom mirror. She was a dick. Looking at herself there in the mirror, she knew she was a dick. Only a real dick would have such a lopsided face.

She had to pee soon or Jillian would think she was taking a dump.

After peeing, she looked at herself more. What an asshole, but what to do?

Jillian deleted the voicemails and took another two Tylenol T3s with codeine and decided that the courthouse must have had the wrong number, because she really didn’t have the money and wouldn’t have the money for another two weeks, at which time she would call the courthouse herself because she was a responsible person.

More dinner? She could make Randy another dinner? A very delicious dinner? She got the impression that something was on the horizon.

At 5:00 p.m., Elena came to pick up Adam and stopped to talk to Barb a second. They talked about how weird Adam was while Adam crawled around on the ground, apparently pretending to be a dog. Barb told Elena about the sister dog thing.

“Ugh,” said Elena, throwing her hands up.

“Adam!” shouted Barb. He trotted up to the women.

“Time to go home, sweetie,” said Elena.

IT WAS AROUND 5:00 P.M., so Megan would be home any second. What a nasty, burdensome feeling. Can you believe it, his hands were sweaty, even though he’d given himself an extension for thinking about this whole thing. “This whole thing.” He felt gross.

The downstairs door slammed and he saved his project. Megan walked in with groceries. “Hey, cutie,” she said.

ELENA THOUGHT ABOUT how Jillian would probably fuck something up this weekend at the church 80s party. She thought about it in detail, watching Adam fidget in her peripheral vision. She pulled into a parking spot on the street outside of Jillian’s apartment building, pumping herself up for the possibility that Jillian would not be home yet. She and Adam would wait inside or maybe she and Adam would take the dog for a walk and she would leave Jillian a note. “You were not here when I got here, and your dog needed out so we took her out.” She would not call the dog by its name in the note, she decided. She walked up to the building with the weird, kicking, spasmodic child’s limp, damp hand in hers and she wanted to bear down on his pudgy little baby fingers to teach them how to firm up like a normal person’s hands.

But Jillian was in, sitting on the couch with that dog. Adam let go of her hand and took a few steps to the side. The house smelled like piss.

“Hey, I just got back from walking the dog, great timing,” Jillian said.

Yeah, right.

“You might crack a window in here, the weather’s fine,” said Elena.

“Oh, I know. I just felt a little chilly on the walk home.”

“It’s not chilly,” said Elena.

“Hmm,” said Jillian.

“So, any word on when you’re getting your car back? We could really use your help driving this weekend. We need a runner.”

“Well, I spoke with the court today and they said my court date is in two weeks, then I should be able to straighten all of this up and get my car back.”

“Oh, so you won’t have it for this weekend?”

“Nope, it’s going to be another two weeks. Hey, Elena, thank you so much for helping me with Adam. You really don’t know how much of a blessing you’ve been to me.”

Elena humphed. “It’s the least I can do to help.”

“It’s really a prayer answered.”

“Well, just try to get your car back as soon as possible, that’ll be thanks enough for me.”

“Will do, Miss Elena.”

RANDY SMILED about the groceries, and tried not to let on that he’d been thinking about breaking up with her all day.

JILLIAN MADE a shopping list of all the things she needed and then made herself a budget. She needed more toys and, eventually, a dog walker for Crispy and also a crate so she wouldn’t have to keep shutting her in the bathroom, and also a proper bed for her. The total for this was about 400 dollars, which was twice as much as she owed for the fine. Would she have to pay to go to court? Not if she didn’t need a lawyer. So no lawyer. And getting the car out she’d heard would be about 100 dollars. But, Crispy was a priority. She re-arranged her list in order of priorities, toys and the crate came first, then the car business, and then a dog walker.

Maybe she’d be able to get her car back in a month? Ugh. Maybe she could get an extension.

The weekend came and Randy thought “we should stay in” but wasn’t entirely comfortable alone with Megan since his understanding that things were not well between them, so he invited their friend David over. This will make her comfortable, he thought. Just two people, where she lives, a low pressure drinking thing.

David came over and Megan drank two beers quickly.

“How’ve you guys been?” David asked.

“Eh, fine, I guess,” said Megan.

“Pretty good,” said Randy. He explained his project for Kelly’s store and said he was getting paid for it, and he and David talked about formats for a while, while Megan smoked cigarettes. She tried to interject, but her comments were flaccid. When she spoke, David glanced at her and raised his eyebrows and nodded and then turned back to Randy.