Chuck Palahniuk - Pygmy

Operative Magda heave battering shin to meet genitals of operative me, flood awareness full suffering pain, spur desire contents stomach to project. Reproductive weapon of operative me hammered with agony, mouth of this agent say, “Well-done, comrade.” Say, “Injury put in jeopardy entire future generation operative.”

Next now, operative Pavel cease Flying Hyena stomp to carnage of Boban. Pavel stance above fallen agent, balloon own chest with deep inhale. Operative Pavel rooster crow, say, “Ha-ha!” Brandish deadly hand chopping oxygen too fast able eye to witness. Shake own fist at roof. Rooster crowing, say, “Bring me more bones to break!”

New now, door no remain healed in wall. Door of battle gallery swing so display best-accomplished attack instructor. As required, all sparring cease, with unison all operative announce: “Greetings, esteemed most revered educator.” In single unite voice, say, “Accept, please, our gratitude for the wisdom you impart.”

For official record, Boban no speech greeting.

Pavel foot kick into rib cage of operative Boban. Repeat boot. Repeat repeat boot until Boban eye cover skins flutter, lips whisper say, “Greetings, esteemed most revered…” Voice fail.

Instructor bow head.

Operative all bow head.

Acclaimed instructor make small parade to penetrate gallery Respected instructor revolve head to cast eye, rest on all combat operative as individual. Step deeper into battle gallery, hands clasped behind own back, jawbone firmly set. Stance tapping shoe repeat against floor, tapping only noise in gallery, tapping until wrapped all heartbeat into unison. Next then, shoe stop. All heart stop.

Top revered attack instructor swivel head to cast eye on operative Pavel. Projecting own chin, instructor say, “Savor your most high status, comrade.” Say, “Simple to decide you as supreme among total this operative class.”

Bloodied hands folded behind own back, operative Pavel balloon chest, make small bow with head.

Eyeing matted, blood mess crumpled of Boban on floor, trembling buttocks of agent 11, much wisdom instructor offer own hand, say, “Grant me your pistol, comrade Pavel.”

All operative issued regulation Beretta nine-millimeter, semiautomatic, double-action, recoil-operated, hip-holstered, loaded fifteen-round reversible magazine. Muzzle velocity 2130.3 feet per second. Operative Pavel release safety strap own holster, withdraw pistol, grant over to instructor.

Receiving nonglare Beretta, matte-black finish, top accomplished instructor say, quote benevolent ruler, stern dictator Augusto Pinochet, quote, ‘“Sometimes democracy must be bathed in blood.’”

Respected instructor direct pistol aim upon crumple Boban, click trigger to cocked.

Operative Boban, eye squeezed, body curled, clenched, balled tight around own heart muscle. Nostril sniff to retain water. Uniform matted blood.

Operative Pavel fashion mouth to make curling smile of pleasure. Display every shining white teeth. Smile wide as to compress Pavel eye into slits.

During event witness, fellow operative breath locked inside lungs. Skin layered sweat growing chilled.

Next now, pistol discharge. Loud retort. Smoke of stink rising.

That same current now, Pavel smiling head explode. Bullet violate skull, exhaust soft gray contents, spattering mirror wall. Spattering operative Magda, operative Chernok, operative me. Warm blobs gray sponge, former thinking machine of operative Pavel.

Pavel skeleton buckle, spiral until heaped garbage proximate to weeping Boban.

Brass metal shell casing of ammunition arc ejected out pistol, trajectory degraded until strike concrete floor, bounce—ding sound, ding sound, ding.

All much valued education of Pavel, all skill and experience, every memories, dreams for glory, regrets, affection and loathing, education of history events and trigonometry equation, entire personality with identity, all of these blasted. All skill and talents. Past and future. All meticulous plan and training and practice. Pulverized and shattered. All former joy and sorrow made steaming gray meatloaf, evicted from skull out exit wound.

Respected attack instructor flex knees, stoop so hand able retrieve brass shell casing off floor.

For official record, announce instructor, the state requires no epic hero. No strive achieve personal celebrity of spotlight and applause. Lectures instructor, the state desires best ideal perform as mediocre. No gain attention showboat. No buffoon. Best effort so occur average. Suppress climbing ego. Become ordinary. Invisible.

Required to erase own self. Otherwise state will do so.

During lecture, instructor rotate own head to put face upon individual operatives. Contacting eyes of each. Next then, cast own eyes on rubbish of Pavel. Cast eyeball on quaking mass, bloody flesh Boban.

On concrete floor, agent 11 shiver. Cower. Single drop yellow urine roll stripe from trouser cuff of operative Boban. Both knee pulled to own chest, squeezing self most small as able.

Acclaimed instructor make pistol arm straight at shivering spine, backbone of operative Boban. Next then, barrel flash. Blam. Smoke.

Quote, “Sometimes democracy must be bathed in blood.”

Last blood escaping agent 11. Dying final breath, lips fluttering, operative Boban whisper, say, “Best congratulations, revered instructor.” Exhale own precious life to say, “Most excellent shot…”

Exploded drops Boban blood …burst gray blobs of Pavel brilliance…chilled sweat trace slow crawl down face cheeks of operative Magda, operative Tanek, operative me. Knees of this agent automatic flex, stoop so hand able retrieve brass metal casing of ammunition. Finger chilled. Cradled in palm of operative me, casing shell retain tiny warmth.

Begins here eleventh account of operative me, agent number 67, attending this today structured compulsory education session. Participate combat among student public education institution XXXXXX. Forced battle to list English alphabet letters which comprise typical vocabulary word. Spelling war staged auditorium XXXXXX. Dated current now. For official record, all American youth become casualty, already slain attempt letters to build coordinate or transpire . Six youth destroyed from battle against word separate .

All American student dismissed from battlefield, relegated into seats of audience, able only witness remainder word skirmish. Displayed onstage no one except operatives, Magda, Ling, Chernok, Oleg, Bokara, Mang, Tibor, Tanek, in addition this agent.

Stern foot operative Mang take step to stance of microphone, focus of stage spotlight, say repeat word given from instructor, say, “Steatopygia.” List alphabet, say, “S-T-E-A-T-O-P-Y-G-I-A.” Bow head, repeat say, “Steatopygia.”

Out audience issue massive huge moan. One voice male scholar say, reverberate throughout auditorium, say, “Get this bullshit over with!”

Chorus other voice, male and female voice, say, “Yeah.” Say, “Call a fucking draw, already!”

Seated below footlight of stage, rank of esteemed instructor rifle many volume book, dragging finger down page searching next word for ask. Other acclaimed instructor make finger straight and press to own pursed lips, exhale hissing sound to signal quiet. Other revered instructor tilt chin almost touch microphone, say, “Next contestant…” Say, “Would you please spell ‘retromingent’?”

Onstage, operative Magda taken stance at microphone. Arms folded behind torso, feet apart, parade rest stance, Magda say, “Esteemed instructor, most grateful with full respect if would repeat word…”

Say instructor, “Retromingent.”

Eye of operative Magda fixed no blink into high glare of spotlight, no blink, no bleed water, say, “In most great due respect, great instructor, regret to correct most esteemed instructor pronunciation.” Say, “Actual correct version pronounce ‘retromingert.’” Proceed list exact alphabet of word.