Даниэль Дефо - Roxana

Upon the whole, I found by her, what was, you may be sure, to my particular Satisfaction, viz . that, as above, I had him all my own.

But the highest Tide has its Ebb; and in all things of this Kind, there is a Reflux which sometimes also is more impetuously violent than the first Aggression: My Prince was a Man of a vast Fortune, tho’ no Sovereign, and therefore there was no Probability that the Expence of keeping a Mistress could be injurious to him, as to his Estate; he had also several Employments, both out of France , as well as in it; for, as above, I say, he was not a Subject of France , tho’ he liv’d in that Court: He had a Princess, a Wife, with whom he had liv’d several Years, and a Woman (so the Voice of Fame reported) the most valuable of her Sex; of Birth equal to him, if not superior, and of Fortune proportionable; but in Beauty, Wit, and a thousand good Qualities, superiour not to most Women, but even to all her Sex; and as to her Virtue, the Character, which was most justly her due, was that of, not only the best of Princesses, but even the best of Women.

They liv’d in the utmost Harmony, as with such a Princess it was impossible to be otherwise; but yet the Princess was not insensible that her Lord had his Foibles ; that he did make some Excursions; and particularly, that he had one Favourite Mistress which sometimes engross’d him more than she (the Princess) cou’d wish, or be easily satisfied with: However, she was so good, so generous, so truly kind a Wife, that she never gave him any Uneasiness on this Account; except so much as must arise from his Sence of her bearing the Affront of it with such Patience, and such a profound Respect for him, as was in itself enough to have reform’d him, and did sometimes shock his generous Mind, so as to keep him at Home, as I may call it, a great-while together; and it was not long before I not only perceiv’d it by his Absence, but really got a Knowledge of the Reason of it, and once or twice he even acknowleg’d it to me.

It was a Point that lay not in me to manage; I made a kind of Motion, once or twice, to him, to leave me, and keep himself to her, as he ought by the Laws and Rites of Matrimony to do, and argued the Generosity of the Princess to him, to perswade him; but I was a Hypocrite; for had I prevail’d with him really to be honest, I had lost him, which I could not bear the Thoughts of; and he might easily see I was not in earnest; one time in particular, when I took upon me to talk at this rate, I found when I argued so much for the Virtue and Honour, the Birth, and above all, the generous Usage he found in the Person of the Princess, with respect to his private Amours, and how it should prevail upon him, &c . I found it began to affect him, and he return’d, And do you indeed , says he, perswade me to leave you? Would you have me think you sincere ? I look’d up in his Face, smiling, Not for any other Favourite , my Lord, said I; that wou’d break my Heart ; but for Madam, the Princess ! said I, and then I could say no more, Tears follow’d, and I sat silent a-while: Well, said he , if ever I do leave you, it shall be on the Virtuous Account; it shall be for the Princess, I assure you it shall be for no other Woman; That’s enough, my Lord , said I, There I ought to submit; and while I am assur’d it shall be for no other Mistress, I promise Your Highness, I will not repine ; or that, if I do, it shall be a silent Grief, it shall not interrupt your Felicity .

All this while I said I knew not what, and said what I was no more able to do, than he was able to leave me; which, at that time, he own’d he cou’d not do, no, not for the Princess herself.

But another Turn of Affairs determin’d this Matter; for the Princess was taken very ill, and in the Opinion of all her Physicians, very dangerously so; in her Sickness she desir’d to speak with her Lord, and to take her Leave of him: At this grievous Parting, she said so many passionate kind Things to him; lamented that she had left him no Children; she had had three, but they were dead; hinted to him, that it was one of the chief things which gave her Satisfaction in Death, as to this World; that she should leave him room to have Heirs to his Family, by some Princess that should supply her Place; with all Humility, but with a Christian Earnestness, recom mended to him to do Justice to such Princess, whoever it should be, from whom, to be sure , he would expect Justice; that is to say, to keep to her singly, according to the solemnest Part of the Marriage-Covenant; humbly ask’d his Highness Pardon, if she had any way offended him; and appealing to Heaven, before whose Tribunal she was to appear, that she had never violated her Honour, or her Duty to him; and praying to Jesus, and the Blessed Virgin, for his Highness; and thus with the most moving, and most passionate Expressions of her Affection to him, took her last Leave of him, and died the next Day.

This Discourse from a Princess so valuable in herself, and so dear to him; and the Loss of her following so immediately after, made such deep Impressions on him, that he look’d back with Detestation upon the former Part of his Life; grew melancholly and reserv’d; chang’d his Society, and much of the general Conduct of his Life; resolv’d on a Life regulated most strictly by the Rules of Virtue, and Piety; and in a word, was quite another Man.

The first Part of his Reformation, was a Storm [133] Storm : violent blow. upon me; for, about ten Days after the Princess’s Funeral, he sent a Message to me by his Gentleman, intimating, tho’ in very civil Terms, and with a short Preamble, or Introduction, that he desir’d I wou’d not take it ill that he was oblig’d to let me know, that he could see me no more : His Gentleman told me a long Story of the new Regulation of Life his Lord had taken up, and that he had been so afflicted for the Loss of his Princess, that he thought it would either shorten his Life, or he wou’d retire into some Religious House, to end his Days in Solitude.

I need not direct any-body to suppose how I receiv’d this News; I was indeed, exceedingly surpriz’d at it, and had much a-do to support myself, when the first Part of it was deliver’d; tho’ the Gentleman deliver’d his Errand with great Respect, and with all the Regard to me, that he was able, and with a great deal of Ceremony; also telling me how much he was concern’d to bring me such a Message.

But when I heard the Particulars of the Story at large, and especially, that of the Lady’s Discourse to the Prince, a little before her Death, I was fully satisfied; I knew very well he had done nothing but what any Man must do, that had a true Sence upon him of the Justice of the Princess’s Discourse to him, and of the Necessity there was of his altering his Course of Life, if he intended to be either a Christian, or an honest Man: I say, when I heard this, I was perfectly easie; I confess it was a Circumstance that it might be reasonably expected shou’d have wrought something also upon me: I that had so much to reflect upon more, than the Prince; that had now no more Temptation of Poverty, or of the powerful Motive, which Amy us’d with me, namely, Comply and live; deny and starve ; I say, I that had no Poverty to introduce Vice, but was grown not only well supply’d, but Rich, and not only Rich, but was very Rich; in a word, richer than I knew how to think of; for the Truth of it was, that thinking of it sometimes, almost distracted me, for want of knowing how to dispose of it, and for fear of losing it all again by some Cheat or Trick, not knowing any-body that I could commit the Trust of it to.

Besides I should add at the Close of this Affair, that the Prince did not, as I may say, turn me off rudely, and with Disgust; but with all the Decency and Goodness peculiar to himself, and that could consist with a Man reform’d, and struck with the Sence of his having abus’d so good a Lady as his late Princess had been; nor did he send me away empty, but did every thing like himself; and in particular, order’d his Gentleman to pay the Rent of the House, and all the Expence of his two Sons; and to tell me how they were taken Care of, and where; and also, that I might, at all times, inspect the Usage they had, and if I dislik’d any thing, it should be rectifid; and having thus finish’d every thing, he retir’d into Lorrain , or somewhere that Way, where he had an Estate, and I never heard of him more, I mean, not as a Mistress.