Wu Cheng-en - Journey to the West (vol. 2)

“How did the monk try to do it?” Brother Monkey asked. To this the old man replied:

“The monk wore a cassock

And recited the scriptures;

First the Peacock Sutra

And then the Lotus.

He burned incense in a burner,

Held a bell between his hands.

His reading of the scriptures

Alarmed the evil spirit,

Who came straight to the farm

Amid his wind and clouds.

The monk fought with the spirit

And it was a splendid sight:

One of them landed a punch,

The other grabbed at his foe.

The monk had the advantage of

Having a hairless head.

But soon the demon had won,

And gone straight back to his clouds.

When the wound had dried in the sun

We went up close for a look;

The monk's bald head was smashed open

Just like a ripe watermelon.

“In other words,” laughed Monkey, “he lost.”

“He just paid with his life,” the old man replied. “We were the ones who lost. We had to buy his coffin, pay for his funeral, and give compensation to his disciple. That silver wasn't enough for the disciple. He's still trying to sue us. He won't call it a day.”

“Did you hire anyone else to catch the demon?” Monkey asked.

“Last year we invited a Taoist priest to do it,” the old man answered.

“How did he try?” Monkey asked.

“The Taoist,” the old man replied,

“Wore a golden crown on his head,

And magic robes on his body,

He sounded his magic wand,

Used charms and water too.

He made gods and generals do his will,

Captured demons and goblins.

A wild wind howled and roared,

While black fog blotted all out.

Demon and Taoist

Were evenly matched;

They fought till nightfall,

When the fiend went back to the clouds.

Heaven and earth were clear

And all of us people were there.

We went out to search for the priest,

Found him drowned in the mountain stream.

When we fished him out to look

He was like a drenched chicken.”

“In other words,” said Monkey with a smile, “he lost too.”

“He only paid with his life, but we had to spend a lot of money that wasn't really necessary,” the old man replied.

“It doesn't matter,” Monkey said. “It doesn't matter. Wait till I catch the demon for you.”

“If you've got the power to catch him I'll ask some of the village elders to write an undertaking to give you as much silver as you want when you've defeated him. You'll not be a penny short. But if you lose don't try to extort money out of us. We must each accept the will of heaven.”

“Old man,” said Monkey, “they've got you terrified of extortion. We're not like that. Send for the elders.”

The old man was delighted. He sent his slaves to invite seven or eight old men from among his next-door neighbors, his cousins, his wife's family and his friends. They all came to meet the strangers, and when they had greeted the Tang Priest they cheerfully discussed the capture of the demon.

“Which of your distinguished disciples will do it?” they asked.

“I will,” said Monkey, putting his hands together in front of his chest.

“You'll never do, never,” said the old man with horror. “The evil spirit's magic powers are enormous, and it's huge too. Venerable sir, you're so tiny and skinny you'd slip through one of the gaps between its teeth.”

“Old man,” said Monkey with a smile, “You're no judge of people. Small I may be, but I'm solid. There's a lot more to me than meets the eye.” When the elders heard this they had to take him at his word.

“Venerable sir,” they said, “how big a reward will you want for capturing the demon?”

“Why do you have to talk about a reward?” Monkey asked. “As the saying goes, 'Gold dazzles, silver is white and stupid, and copper coins stink.' We're virtuous monks and we definitely won't take money.”

“In that case you must all be lofty monks who obey your vows,” the elders said. “But even if you won't accept money we can't let you work for nothing. We all live by agriculture. If you subdue the demon and clean the place up, every family here will give you a third of an acre of good farmland, which will make over 150 acres altogether. Your master and you disciples can build a monastery there and sit in meditation. That would be much better than going on your long journey.”

“It would be even worse,” replied brother Monkey with a smile. “If we asked for land we'd have to raise horses, do labor service, pay grain taxes and hand over hay. We'll never be able to go to bed at dusk or lie in after the fifth watch. It'd be the death of us.”

“If you won't accept anything, how are we to express our thanks?” the elders asked.

“We're men of religion,” said Monkey. “Some tea and a meal will be thanks enough for us.”

“That's easy,” said the elders. “But how are you going to catch the demon?”

“Once it comes I'll get it,” said Monkey.

“But it's enormous,” the elders said. “It stretches from the earth to the sky. It comes in wind and goes in mist. How are you ever going to get close to it?”

“When it comes to evil spirits who can summon winds and ride on clouds,” Monkey replied, “I treat them as mere kids. It makes no difference how big it is-I have ways of beating it.”

As they were talking the howl of a great wind made the eight or nine elders start shaking with fear. “Monk, you've asked for trouble and you've got it,” they said. “You talked about the monster and here he is.”

Old Mr. Li opened the door and said to his relations and the Tang Priest, “Come in, come in, the demon's here.”

This so alarmed Pig and Friar Sand that they wanted to go inside too, but Monkey grabbed each of them with one of his hands and said, “You're a disgrace. You're monks and you ought to know better. Stay where you are, and don't try to run away. Come into the courtyard with me. We're going to see what kind of evil spirit this is.”

“But brother,” said Pig, “they've been through this before. The noise of the wind means that the demon's coming. They've all gone to hide. We're not friends or relations of the demon. We've had no business dealings with him. What do we want to see him for?” Monkey was so strong that with no further argument he hauled them into the courtyard and made them stand there while the wind blew louder and louder. It was a splendid wind that

Uprooted trees and flattened woods, alarming wolves and tigers,

Stirred up the rivers and oceans to the horror of ghosts and gods,

Blowing the triple peaks of the great Mount Hua all upside down,

Shaking the earth and sky through the world's four continents.

Every village family shut fast its gates,

While boys and girls all fled for cover.

Black clouds blotted out the Milky Way;

Lamps lost their brightness and the world went dark.

Pig was shaking with terror. He lay on the ground, rooted into the earth with his snout and buried his head. He looked as if he had been nailed there. Friar Sand covered his face and could not keep his eyes open. Monkey knew from the sound of the wind that the demon was in it. A moment later, when the wind had passed, all that could be vaguely made out in the sky were two lamps.

“Brothers,” he said, looking down, “the wind's finished. Get up and look.” The idiot tugged his snout out, brushed the dirt off himself and looked up into the sky, where he saw the two lamps.

“What a laugh,” Pig said, laughing aloud, “What a laugh. It's an evil spirit with good manners. Let's make friends with it.”

“It's a very dark night,” said Friar Sand, “and you haven't even seen it, so how can you tell whether it's good or bad?”