Wu Cheng-en - Journey to the West (vol. 2)

“I'm a gelded pig, a gelded pig!” yelled Pig in a panic.

“Stop that nonsense, idiot,” said Monkey. “Just show them your face the way it used to be.” Pig then shook his head a couple of times, stuck up his ears shaped like reed fans, twisted his bristly, dropping snout and give a roar that made all the women collapse with fright. There is a poem to prove it that goes,

The monk came to Western Liang on his way to the Buddha;

The streets were a feminine world where males were not seen.

Peasants, scholars and artisans, merchants and fisherfolk,

Woodcutters, tillers and stock-raisers-all were women.

The beauties poured into the streets to welcome the men;

Young women come in crowds to hail the handsome groom.

If Wuneng had not made full use of his hideous face,

The pilgrims could not have withstood a siege by the ladies.

The women were then all so frightened that they dared not approach.

Clutching their hands, stooping, shaking their heads, chewing at their fingers, trembling and shaking they blocked the streets to look at the Tang Priest. The Great Sage Monkey also pulled a hideous face to clear a way for them, helped by grimaces from Friar Sand. Leading the horse, pig stuck out his snout and was flapping his ears. As they moved forward they saw that the buildings along the city streets were well-built and the shop fronts imposing. There were grocers and corn-chandlers, bars and teahouses, multi-storied shops where everything was sold, towers and fine mansions with well-draped windows.

Master and disciples turned one corner to come up against a female official standing in the street and shouting. “Envoys from afar, you may not enter the city gates without permission. Please go to the government post station and register your names so that I can report them to Her Majesty. When they have been examined you will be allowed to proceed.” Hearing this, Sanzang dismounted and saw that the words MALE-WELCOMING POST STATION were written on a board across the door of the official building.

“Wukong,” said the venerable elder, “what the village people told us was true. There really is a Male-welcoming Post Station.”

“Brother Pig,” chuckled Friar Sand, “you'd better look in the Pregnancy-revealing Spring to see if you have a double reflection.”

“Stop trying to make a fool of me,” said Pig. “I aborted after drinking the water from Miscarriage Spring. What would I need to look for?”

“Watch your words, Wuneng, watch your words,” said Sanzang, turning back to give Pig his instructions before going forward and greeting the official.

She led them into the main hall of the post station, where they sat down and tea was sent for. Here too the staff all had their hair in bunches and wore skirts. There were many smiles as the tea was brought. A little later, when it had been drunk, the official gave a slight bow as she sat there and asked, “On what business have you emissaries come?”

“We are envoys sent to the Western Heaven by the Great Tang emperor in the East to worship the Buddha and fetch the scriptures,” Monkey replied. “My master Tang Sanzang is the Tang emperor's younger brother. I am Sun Wukong, his senior disciple, and these two are my fellows, Zhu Wuneng, Pig, and Sha Wujing, Friar Sand. If you count the horse there are five of us altogether. We are carrying a passport with us that we beg to have inspected so that we may be allowed to continue on our way.”

When the woman official had finished writing all this down she dropped to her knees to kowtow to them and said, “Forgive me, my lords. I am only the superintendent of the Male-welcoming Post Station and I did not realize that you were gentlemen from a superior country who deserved to be met at a great distance from here.” She rose to her feet and ordered the staff to provide them with food and drink. “Please make yourselves comfortable, my lords, while I go into the city to report to our queen. Then your document will be dealt with and you will be seen on your way West with rich presents.” Sanzang was happy to sit there.

The superintendent neatened her clothes and went straight into the city to the Tower of Five Phoenixes at the palace entrance, where she said to the gate officer, “I am the superintendent of the Male-welcoming Post Station and I would like an audience with Her Majesty on a certain matter.” The gate officer reported this to the queen at once, at which the superintendent was summoned straight to the throne hall to be asked what it was she had come to say.

“Your humble subject,” she replied, “has received in her post station Tang Sanzang the younger brother of the Tang emperor in the East. He has three disciples called Sun Wukong, Zhu Wuneng and Sha Wujing and a horse, making five of them altogether. They wish to go to the Western Heaven to worship the Buddha and fetch the scriptures. I have come especially to submit a memorial to Your Majesty asking whether they may be allowed to submit their passport for approval and proceed on their way.”

The queen was delighted at his report, and she said to her civil officials, “We dreamed last night of a gold screen shining with colours and a jade mirror full of light. They must have been good omens of what has happened today.”

The women officials crowded round the steps of the throne and said with kowtows, “Your Majesty, how can you tell that they were good omens for today?”

“This man from the East,” the queen replied, “is the younger brother of the Tang emperor. Since primal chaos was first cleared we have never seen a man in our country under all the queens who have reigned here. The fortunate arrival of the Tang emperor's younger brother must be a gift from Heaven. I have decided to use our country's wealth to persuade the emperor's brother to become king with me as his queen. Then we can unite the male and the female and produce sons and grandsons to pass the throne on to. So weren't they good omens?” The joyful women officials all performed dances of obeisance.

“Your Majesty's idea of passing the throne on to future generations in an excellent one,” the superintendent of the post station further submitted, “but the three hideous disciples of the emperor's younger brother are not at all attractive.”

“What does the emperor's brother look like,” the queen asked, “and how are the disciples so unattractive?”

“The emperor's brother has a handsome face and an impressive bearing,” the superintendent replied. “He really does look like a man from a great country ruled by a heaven-sent dynasty, a son of China in the Southern Jambu continent. But the three disciples look thoroughly vicious with faces like demons.”

“In that case,” said the queen, “give presents to his disciples, return their passport, and send them on their way to the Western Heaven. Keep only the emperor's brother here. Is there any reason why we should not?”

To this the officials bowed low and replied, “Your Majesty's ideas are completely right and your subjects will respectfully implement them. The only difficulty is that we have no matchmaker to arrange the marriage. As the old saying goes

Marriage and mating depend on red leaves;

A matchmaker ties the threads between husband and wife.

“From what you suggest,” the queen replied, “the royal tutor should be invited to be matchmaker, and the superintendent of the Male-welcoming Post Station will be the mistress of ceremonies. Go to the post station and ask for the consent of the emperor's younger brother. When he has agreed we shall go out of the city in our carriage to greet him.” The tutor and the superintendent left the palace to carry out their instructions.

Sanzang and his disciples were just enjoying a vegetarian meal in the hall of the post station when someone was heard outside announcing the arrival of the queen's tutor and the superintendent.