Wu Cheng-en - Journey to the West (vol. 2)

“It must be because you drank cold water,” said Friar Sand, only to be interrupted by groans of “It's agony!” from his master and Pig. The two of them were in unbearable pain and their abdomens were gradually swelling. When they felt with their hands there was something like a lump of flesh and blood moving and jerking around incessantly. Sanzang was feeling very unsteady when he noticed two bundles of straw hanging from the top of a tree in a village by the road.

“That's good, Master,” said Monkey. “There's a wineshop there. I'll go and beg you some hot water and find out if anyone sells medicine there and will let you have some medicine to ease your pain.”

Sanzang was very pleased with the suggestion, so he whipped the white horse forward and was soon at the gates of the village, where he dismounted. An old woman was sitting on a bundle of straw outside the gates twisting hempen thread. Monkey went up to her, put his hands together in front of his chest in greeting, and said, “We monks have come from the Great Tang in the East. My master is the Tang Emperor's younger brother, and he has a stomachache because he drank some water from a river.”

“Which river did you drink from?” asked the old woman, laughing aloud.

“From the clear river to the East of here,” replied Monkey.

“What a laugh,” chuckled the old woman, “what a laugh! Come inside and I'll explain.”

Monkey supported Sanzang while Friar Sand helped pig into the thatched cottage where they sat down. The two of them were groaning in agony from their protruding bellies, their faces sallow and their foreheads creased with frowns. “Please boil some water for my master, missus,” said Monkey. “He must have it, and I'll be very grateful.”

Instead of doing this she went into the back of the house, still chuckling, and called, “Come and see, come and see!” There was a slap of sandals inside as two or three middle-aged women came out to stare at Sanzang with grins across their faces. This made Monkey so angry that he shouted and bared his teeth at them, sending them all scurrying and stumbling inside in terror.

Monkey went after them, grabbed the old woman, and said, “Boil some water this minute and I'll spare your life.”

“My lord,” said the old woman, “hot water won't be any use. I can't do anything to help those two with their bellyaches. If you let me go I'll tell you all about it.” When Monkey released her she continued, “This is the Womanland of Western Liang. All of us in this country are female, and there isn't a man among us, which is why we were so pleased to see you. It's terrible that the reverend father has drank from that river, which is called the Motherhood River. There is a Male-welcoming Post Station outside our capital with a Pregnancy-revealing Spring. In this country we only dare drink of the river's water when we reach the age of twenty. After drinking it we feel the stomach pains of pregnancy. Three days later we go to the Pregnancy-revealing Spring at the Male-welcoming Post Station. If we see a double reflection in the waters we give birth to a child. Because your master has drunk from the Motherhood River he's pregnant. He's going to have a baby soon. What will a hot drink do to help that?”

Sanzang went pale with shock at the news.

“What am I to do, disciple?” he asked.

“I'm going to have a child, but I'm a man,” said Pig, writhing around in his agony. “Where will the child come out? How am I to give birth to it?”

“As the old saying goes, a melon falls when it's ripe,” replied Monkey with a laugh. “When the time comes a hole will open under your ribs for it to be born through.”

This conversation made Pig shake with fear, and the pain was more than he could bear. “I can't take any more,” he said, “I can't take any more. I'm dying, I'm dying.”

“Stop fidgeting, brother,” said Friar Sand with a grin, “stop fidgeting or else you'll get the umbilical cord in a twist and be ill before the birth.”

The idiot's panic was now worse than ever as with tears in his eyes he held on to Monkey and said, “Brother, ask the old lady where there are midwives with a gentle touch and send for some. The pains are coming very close to each other now. They must be labor pains. It'll be very soon now.”

“If they're labor pains, brother, you'd better stop writhing about if you don't want your waters to break,” said Friar Sand, still grinning.

“My good lady,” groaned Sanzang, “are there any doctors round here? Send one of my disciples to buy some medicine that will make me abort.”

“Medicine won't be any use,” said the old woman. “There's a Miscarriage Spring in Childfree Cave in Mount Offspring Dissolved on the road due South from here. To end your pregnancy you must drink the water of that spring. But the spring water cannot be had now as a Taoist called the As-you-will Immortal came here the other year and changed the Childfree Cave to the Hermitage of Immortals. He's hoarding the waters of Miscarriage Spring, which he won't give away. Anyone who wants water must take him rich gifts. You have to offer mutton, wine and fruit, and be very reverent indeed before you can get a bowl of the water from him. You travelling monks couldn't possibly afford to do all that, so you'll just have to let fate take its course and have the babies when your time comes.” Monkey, who was very pleased to learn all this, then asked how far it was to Mount Offspring Dissolved. “Ten miles,” the old woman replied.

“Fine,” said Monkey. “You can stop worrying, Master. I'll go and get you some of the water.”

“Look after the master properly,” said the splendid Great Sage in his parting instructions to Friar Sand, “and if the people here try to bully him use your old trick of pulling a face to scare them till I get back with the water.”

Friar Sand was preparing to do as he was told when the old woman came out with a big earthenware bowl that she gave to Monkey. “Take this and fetch as much as you can,” she said, “so that we can keep some for emergencies.”

Monkey left the thatched cottage with the bowl in his hands and was off on his cloud, at which the old woman bowed to the sky and said, “That monk can ride on clouds, my lord.” Then she went inside and called the other women out to kowtow to the Tang Priest. They started calling him “arhat” and “Bodhisattva,” boiled water and prepared a meal to offer him.

Monkey's somersault cloud soon brought him within sight of a mountain that blocked his cloud, so he brought it down to gaze at the superb mountain. He saw

A brocade of subtle blossoms,

Wild flowers spreading a green carpet,

Streams running into each other,

Brooks and clouds both at their ease.

Dense grow the creepers in many a valley,

And trees are packed close on a distant ridge.

While songbirds call wild geese fly over,

Deer drink, and gibbons climb.

The green line of peaks stands like a screen;

The blue rock face is shaped like a topknot.

It is hard to reach it across the drifting sands;

None could tire of watching the waterfall.

Taoist boys roam in search of herbs;

Foresters return with loads of firewood.

It is a worthy rival to Mount Tiantai,

And better than the threefold Huashan summit.

As the Great Sage was looking at the mountain he saw a farmhouse on its Northern slope from where the barking of dogs could be heard. The Great Sage went straight down the mountainside to the farm, which was indeed a splendid place:

A bridge across a lively stream,

A cottage sheltered by the hill,

Dogs barking by the broken fence,

A recluse who comes and goes at will.

Monkey was soon at the gate, where he saw an old Taoist sitting on a green cushion. Putting down the earthenware bowl, Monkey went forward to greet him. The Taoist returned his greeting with a bow from where he sat and asked, “Where have you come from? What business brings you here to this hermitage?”