Wu Cheng-en - Journey to the West (vol. 1)

At the word “Monkey” Friar Sand felt as though the oil of enlightenment had been poured on his head and the sweet dew had enriched his heart. His face was all happiness and his chest filled with spring. He looked more like someone who had found a piece of gold or jade than someone who had just been told that a friend had arrived. He brushed his clothes down with his hands, went out, bowed to Monkey and said, “Brother, you've dropped right out of the blue. I beg you to save my life!”

“Did you say one word to help me, Brother Sand, when the master said the Band-tightening Spell?” asked Monkey with a grin. “Talk, talk, talk. If you want to rescue your master you should be heading West instead of squatting here.”

“Please don't bring that up,” said Friar Sand. “A gentleman doesn't bear a grudge. We've been beaten, and we've lost the right to talk about courage. Please rescue me.”

“Come up here,” Monkey replied, and Friar Sand sprang up on the cliff with a bound.

When Pig saw from up in the air that Friar Sand had come out of the cave, he brought his cloud down and said, “Forgive me, forgive me, Brother Sand.”

“Where have you come from?” asked Friar Sand on seeing him.

“After I was beaten yesterday,” said Pig, “I went back to the capital last night and met the white horse, who told me that the master was in trouble. The monster has magicked him into a tiger. The horse and I talked it over and we decided to ask our eldest brother back.”

“Stop chattering, idiot,” said Monkey. “Each of you take one of these children to the city. Use them to provoke the monster into coming back here to fight me.”

“How are we to do that?” asked Friar Sand.

“You two ride your clouds, stop above the palace,” said Monkey, “harden your hearts, and drop the children on the palace steps. When you're asked, say they're the sons of the Yellow-robed Monster, and that you two brought them there. The ogre is bound to come back when he hears that, which will save me the trouble of going into town to fight him. If we fought in the city, the fogs and dust storms we stirred up would alarm the court, the officials and the common people.”

“Whatever you do, brother,” said Pig with a laugh, “you try to trick us.”

“How am I tricking you?” asked Monkey.

“These two kids have already been scared out of their wits,” Pig replied. “They've cried themselves hoarse, and they're going to be killed at any moment. Do you think the monster will let us get away after we've smashed them to mince? He'll want our necks. You're still crooked, aren't you? He won't even see you, so it's obvious you're tricking us.”

“If he goes for you,” said Monkey, “fight your way back here, where there's plenty of room for me to have it out with him.”

“That's right,” said Friar Sand, “what our eldest brother says is quite right. Let's go.” The pair of them were an awe-inspiring sight as they went off, carrying the two boys.

Monkey then jumped down from the cliff to the ground in front of the pagoda's gates, where the princess said to him, “You faithless monk. You said you'd give me back my children if I released your brother. Now I've let him go, but you still have the boys. What have you come back for?”

“Don't be angry, princess,” said Monkey, forcing a smile. “As you've been here so long, we've taken your sons to meet their grandfather.”

“Don't try any nonsense, monk,” said the princess. “My husband Yellow Robe is no ordinary man. If you've frightened those children, you'd better clam them down.”

“Princess,” said Monkey with a smile, “do you know what the worst crime on earth you can commit is?”

“Yes,” she replied.

“You're a mere woman, so you don't understand anything,” said Monkey.

“I was educated by my parents in the palace ever since I was a child,” she said, “and I remember what the ancient book said: 'There are three thousand crimes, and the greatest is unfilial behavior.'”

“But you're unfilial,” replied Monkey. '“My father begot me, my mother raised me. Alas for my parents. What an effort it was to bring me up.' Filial piety is the basis of all conduct and the root of all goodness, so why did you marry an evil spirit and forget your parents? Surely this is the crime of unfilial behavior.” At this the princess' face went red as she was overcome with shame.

“What you say, sir, is so right,” she said. “Of course I haven't forgotten my parents. But the monster forced me to come here, and he is so strict that I can hardly move a step. Besides, it's a long journey and nobody could deliver a message. I was going to kill myself until I thought that my parents would never discover that I hadn't run away deliberately. So I had nothing for it but to drag out my wretched life. I must be the wickedest person on earth.” As she spoke the tears gushed out like the waters of a spring.

“Don't take on so, princess,” said Monkey. “Pig has told me how you saved my master's life and wrote a letter, which showed you hadn't forgotten your parents. I promise that I'll catch the monster, take you back to see your father, and find you a good husband. Then you can look after your parents for the rest of their lives. What do you say to that?”

“Please don't get yourself killed, monk,” she said. “Your two fine brothers couldn't beat Yellow Robe, so how can you talk about such a thing, you skinny little wretch, all gristle and no bone? You're like a crab, the way your bones all stick out. You don't have any magic powers, so don't talk about capturing ogres.”

“What a poor judge of people you are,” laughed Monkey. “As the saying goes, 'A bubble of piss is big but light, and a steelyard weight can counterbalance a ton.' Those two are big but useless. Their bulk slows them down in the wind as they walk, they cost the earth to clothe, they are hollow inside, like fire in a stove, they are weak and they give no return for all that they eat. I may be small, but I'm very good value.”

“Have you really got magic powers?” the princess asked.

“You've never seen such magic as I have,” he replied. “I have no rival when it comes to subduing monsters and demons.”

“Are you sure you won't let me down?” said the princess.

“Yes,” said Monkey.

“As you're so good at putting down demons, how are you going to catch this one?”

“Hide yourself away and keep out of my sight,” said Monkey. “Otherwise I may not be able to deal with him properly when he comes back. I'm afraid you may feel more friendly towards him and want to keep him.”

“Of course I won't want to keep him,” she protested. “I've only stayed here under duress.”

“You've been his wife for thirteen years,” said Monkey, “so you must have some affection for him. When I meet him it won't be for a child's game. I shall have to kill him with my cudgel and my fists before you can be taken back to court.”

The princess did as she had been told and went off to hide in a quiet place. As her marriage was fated to end she had met the Great Sage. Now that the princess was out of the way the Monkey King turned himself with a shake of his body into the very image of the princess and went back into the cave to wait for the ogre.

Pig and Friar Sand took the children to the city of Elephantia and hurled them down on the palace steps, where the wretched boys were smashed to mincemeat; their blood splashed out and their bones were pulverized. The panic-stricken courtiers announced that a terrible thing had happened-two people had been thrown down from the sky. “The children are the sons of the Yellow-robed Monster,” shouted Pig at the top of his voice, “and they were brought here by Pig and Friar Sand.”