Wu Cheng-en - Journey to the West (vol. 1)

“We're done for,” exclaimed Pig, “our enemy's come back.”

“Put all your piety away for now, master,” said Monkey, “while we finish him off once and for all with a bit of evil; then we'll be able to escape.” The Tang Priest shivered and shook on hearing this, and before he could answer, the three disciples rushed forward, Friar Sand wielding his staff, Pig with his rake held high, and the Great Sage Monkey brandishing his iron cudgel. They surrounded the Great Immortal in mid-air and struck wildly at him. There are some verses about this terrible fight:

Monkey did not know that the Immortal Zhen Yuan,

The Conjoint Lord of the Age, had even deeper powers.

While the three magic weapons fiercely whirled,

His deer-tail fly-whisk gently waved.

Parrying to left and right, he moved to and fro,

Blocking blows from front and back he let them rush around.

When night gave way to dawn they still were locked in combat.

If they tarried here they would never reach the Western Heaven.

The three of them went for him with their magic weapons, but the Great Immortal kept them at bay with his fly-whisk. After about an hour he opened wide his sleeve and caught up master, disciples, horse, and baggage in it once more. Then he turned his cloud around and went back to his temple, where all the Immortals greeted him. After taking his seat in the hall he took them out of his sleeve one by one. He had the Tang Priest tied to a stunted locust tree at the foot of the steps, with Pig and Friar Sand tied to trees next to him. Monkey was tied up upside-down, which made him think that he was going to be tortured and interrogated. When Monkey was tightly bound, the Great Immortal sent for ten long turban-cloths.

“What a kind gentleman, Pig,” said Monkey, “he's sent for some cloth to make sleeves for us-with a bit less he could have made us cassocks.” The junior Immortals fetched home-woven cloth, and on being told by the Great Immortal to wrap up Pig and Friar Sand with it, they came forward to do so.

“Excellent,” said Monkey, “excellent-you're being encoffined alive.” Within a few moments the three of them were wrapped up, and lacquer was then sent for. The Immortals quickly fetched some lacquer that they had tapped and dried themselves, with which they painted the three bandaged bodies all over except for the heads.

“Never mind about our heads, sir,” said Pig, “but please leave us a hole at the bottom to shit through.”

The Great Immortal then sent for a huge cauldron, at which Monkey said with a laugh, “You're in luck, Pig. I think they must have brought the cauldron out to cook us some rice in.”

“Fine,” said Pig, “I hope they give us some rice first-we'll make much better-looking ghosts if we die with our bellies full.”

The Immortals carried out the large cauldron and put it under the steps, and the Great Immortal called for dry wood to be stacked up round it and set ablaze. “Ladle it full of pure oil,” he commanded, “and when it is hot enough to bubble, deep-fry Monkey in it to pay me back for my manfruit.”

Monkey was secretly delighted to hear this. “This is just what I want,” He thought. “I haven't had a bath for ages, and my skin's getting rather itchy. I'd thoroughly appreciate a hot bath.” Very soon the oil was bubbling and Monkey was having reservations: he was afraid that the Immortal's magic might be hard for him to fathom, and that at first he might be unable to use his limbs in the cauldron. Hastily looking around him, he saw that there was a sundial to the East of the dais and a stone lion to the West. Monkey rolled towards it with a spring, bit off the end of his tongue, spurted blood all over the stone lion, and shouted “Change,” at which it turned into his own image, tied up in a bundle like himself. Then he extracted his spirit and went up into the clouds, from where he looked down at the Taoists.

It was just at this moment that the junior Immortals reported, “The oil's boiling hard.”

“Carry Monkey down to it,” the Great Immortal ordered, but when four of them tried to pick him up they could not. Eight then tried and failed, and four more made no difference. “This earth-infatuated ape is immovable,” they said. “He may be small, but he's very solid.” Twelve junior Immortals were then told to pick him up with the aid of carrying-poles, and when they threw him in there was a loud crash as drops of oil splashed about, raising blisters all over the junior Immortals' faces. “There's a hole in the cauldron-it's started leaking,” the scalded Immortals cried, but before the words were out of their mouths the oil had all run out through the broken bottom of the cauldron. They realized that they had thrown a stone lion into it.

“Damn that ape for his insolence,” said the Great Immortal in a terrible rage. “How dare he play his tricks in my presence! I don't mind so much about your getting away, but how dare you wreck my cauldron? It's useless trying to catch him, and even if you could it would be like grinding mercury out of sand, or trying to hold a shadow or the wind. Forget about him, let him go. Untie Tang Sanzang instead and fetch another pot. We can fry him to avenge the destruction of the tree.” The junior Immortals set to and began to tear off Sanzang's lacquered bandages.

Monkey could hear all this clearly from mid-air. “The master will be done for,” he thought. “If he goes into that cauldron it'll kill him. Then he'll be cooked, and after four or five fryings he'll be eaten as a really tender piece of monk. I must go back down and save him.” The splendid Great Sage brought his cloud down to land, clasped his hands in front of him, and said, “Don't spoil the lacquered bands, and don't fry my master. Put me in the cauldron of oil instead.”

“I'll get you, you baboon,” raged the Great Immortal in astonishment. “Why did you use one of your tricks to smash my cooking pot?”

“You must expect to be smashed up if you meet me-and what business is it of mine anyhow? I was going to accept your kind offer of some hot oil, but I was desperate for a shit and a piss, and if I'd done them in your cauldron, I'd have spoilt your oil and your food wouldn't have tasted right. Now I've done my stuff I'm ready for the cauldron. Please fry me instead of my master.” The Great Immortal laughed coldly, came out of the hall, and seized him.

If you don't know how the story goes or how he escaped, listen to the explanation in the next installment.

Sun Wukong Looks for the Formula in the Three Islands

Guanyin Revives the Tree with a Spring of Sweet Water

As the poem goes,

When living in the world you must be forbearing;

Patience is essential when training oneself.

Although it's often said that violence is good business,

Think before you act, and never bully or be angry.

True gentlemen who never strive are famed for ever;

The virtue-loving sages are renowned to this day.

Strong men always meet stronger than themselves,

And end up as failures who are in the wrong.

The Great Immortal Zhen Yuan held Monkey in his hand and said, “I've heard about your powers and your fame, but this time you have gone too far. Even if you manage to remove yourself, you won't escape my clutches. You and I shall argue it out as far as the Western Heaven, and even if you see that Buddha of yours, you'll still have to give me back my manfruit tree first. Don't try any of your magic now.”

“What a small-minded bloke you are, sir,” Monkey replied with a laugh. “If you want your tree brought back to life, there's no problem. If you'd told me earlier we could have been spared all this quarrelling.”