Wu Cheng-en - Journey to the West (vol. 1)

When Sanzang came to the Mountain of Infinite Longevity,

Monkey finished the Grass-returning Cinnabar.

The branches were splayed out, the leaves fallen, and the tree down.

Bright Moon and Pure Wind's hearts both turned to ice.

The two of them lay in the dirt mumbling deliriously and saying, “What are we to do, what are we to do? The elixir of our Wuzhuang Temple has been destroyed and our community of Immortals is finished. Whatever are we going to say to the master when he comes back?”

“Stop moaning, brother,” said Bright Moon. “We must tidy ourselves up and not let those monks know anything's wrong. That hairy-faced sod who looks like a thunder god must have done it. He must have used magic to destroy our treasure. But it's useless to argue with him as he'll deny everything, and if we start a quarrel with him and fighting breaks out, we two haven't a chance against the four of them. We'll have to fool them and say that no fruit is missing. We'll pretend we counted wrong before, and apologize to them. Their rice is cooked, and we can give them a few side dishes to eat with it. The moment they've each got a bowl of food you and I will stand on either side of the door, slam it shut, and lock it. After that we can lock all the gates, then they won't be able to get away. When our master comes back he can decide what to do with them. That old monk is a friend of his, so our master may want to forgive him as a favour. And if he doesn't feel forgiving, we've got the criminals under arrest and may possibly not get into trouble ourselves.”

“Absolutely right,” said Pure Wind.

The two of them pulled themselves together, forced themselves to look happy, and went back to the front hall. “Master,” they said, bowing low to Sanzang, “we were extremely rude to you just now. Please forgive us.”

“What do you mean?” asked Sanzang.

“The fruit is all there,” they replied. “We couldn't see it all before as the tree is so tall and the foliage so thick but when we checked just now the number was right.”

“You're too young to know what you're doing,” said Pig, taking the chance to put the boot in. “Why did you swear and curse at us, and try to frame us up? You bastards.”

Monkey, who understood what the boys were up to, said nothing and thought, “Lies, lies. The fruit is all finished. Why ever are they saying this? Can it be that they know how to bring the tree back to life?”

“Very well then,” Sanzang was saying meanwhile, “bring our rice in and we'll be off after eating it.”

Pig went off to fill their bowls and Friar Sand arranged a table and chairs. The two boys hurried out and fetched some side dishes-salted squash, salted eggplant, turnips in wine-lees, pickle bean, salted lettuce, and mustard plant, some seven or eight plates in all. These they gave to the pilgrims to eat with their rice, and then they waited on them with a pot of good tea and two cups. As soon as the four pilgrims had their ricebowls in their hands, the boys, who were on either side of the doorway, slammed the doors to and locked them with a double-sprung bronze lock.

“You shouldn't do that, boys,” said Pig with a smile. “Even if the people round here are a bit rough there's no need to shut the doors while we eat.”

“Yes, yes,” said Bright Moon, “we'll open them after lunch.” Pure Wind, however, was abusive.

“I'll get you, you greedy, bald-headed food-thief,” he said. “You ate our immortal fruit and deserve to be punished for the crime of stealing food from fields and gardens. On top of that you've pushed our tree over and ruined our temple's source of immortality. How dare you argue with us? Your only chance of reaching the Western Heaven and seeing the Buddha is to be reborn and be rocked in the cradle again.” When Sanzang heard this he dropped his ricebowl, feeling as if a boulder was weighing down his heart. The two boys went and locked the main and the inner gates of the temple, then came back to the main hall to abuse them with filthy language and call them criminals and bandits till evening, when they went off to eat. The two of them returned to their rooms after supper.

“You're always causing trouble, you ape,” grumbled Sanzang at Monkey. “You stole their fruit, so you should have let them lose their temper and swear at you, then that would have been the end of it. Why on earth did you push their tree over? If they took this to court you wouldn't be able to get off even if your own father were on the bench.”

“Don't make such a row, master,” said Monkey. “Those boys have gone to bed, and when they're asleep we can do a midnight flit.”

“But all the gates have been locked,” said Friar Sand, “and they've been shut very firmly, so how can we possibly get away?”

“Don't let it bother you,” said Monkey, “I have a way.”

“We weren't worried that you wouldn't have a way,” said Pig. “You can turn yourself into an insect and fly out through the holes in the window lattice. But you'll be leaving poor old us, who can't turn ourselves into something else, to stay here and carry the can for you.”

“If he does a trick like that and doesn't take us with him I'll recite that old sutra-he won't get away scot-free then.”

Pig was both pleased and worried to hear this. “What do you mean, master?” he said. “I know that the Buddha's teachings include a Lankavatara Sutra, a lotus Sutra, a Peacock Sutra, an Avalokit esvara Sutra, and a Diamond Sutra, but I never heard of any Old Sutra.”

“What you don't know, brother,” said Monkey, “is that the Bodhisattva Guanyin gave this band I have round my head to our master. He tricked me into wearing it, and now it's virtually rooted there and I can't take it off. The spell or sutra for tightening this band is what he meant by the 'old surra'. If he says it, my head aches. It's a way he has of making me suffer. Please don't recite it, master. I won't abandon you. I guarantee that we'll all get out.

It was now dark, and the moon had risen in the East. “It's quiet now,” said Monkey, “and the moon is bright. This is the time to go.”

“Stop fooling about, brother,” said Pig. “The gates are all locked, so where can we possibly go?”

“Watch this trick,” said Monkey, and gripping his cudgel in his hand he pointed at the doors and applied unlocking magic to them. There was a clanking sound, and the locks fell from all the doors and gates, which he pushed them open.

“Not half clever,” said Pig. “A locksmith with his skeleton keys couldn't have done it anything like as fast.”

“Nothing difficult about opening these doors,” said Monkey. “I can open the Southern Gates of Heaven just by pointing at them.” Then he asked his master to go out and mount the horse. Pig shouldered the luggage, Friar Sand led the horse, and they headed West. “You carry on,” Monkey said, “while I go back to make sure that those two boys will stay asleep for a month.”

“Mind you don't kill them, disciple,” said Sanzang, “or you'll be on a charge of murder in the pursuit of theft as well.”

“I'm aware of that,” replied Monkey and went back into the temple. Standing outside the door of the room where the boys were sleeping, he took a couple of sleep insects from his belt. These were what he had used when he fooled the Heavenly King Virudhaka at the Eastern Gate of Heaven, and now he threw them in through a gap in the window lattice. They landed straight on the boys' faces, and made them fall into a deeper sleep from which they would not wake up for a long time. Then he streaked back by cloud and caught up with Sanzang. They headed West along the main road.

That night the horse never stopped, and they kept on till dawn. “You'll be the death of me, you ape,” said Sanzang. “Because of your greed I've had to stay awake all night.”