Henry Green - Loving, Living, Party Going

‘You think I have to get tight to…’ he said and broke off and this made Amabel laugh. It seemed to her she had sufficiently established her claim over him, so she laughed again.

And Julia laughed to save her face and lastly Angela laughed to keep in with them.

‘Oh, you know what I mean,’ he said.

‘We know,’ Miss Crevy said.

‘Oh, do you, darling?’ said Amabel and getting up she stepped forward and kissed him and then stayed by, leaving her face close to his. He found her hair was still damp and this tortured him for something he remembered of her once and then it came over him she meant to put him through it before the others. And then because he had realized this it put him right, he felt he had seen through her little game and anyway he thought with glee what were they doing but fighting over him so that he grinned with confidence right into her mouth. She gave way at once, half opened her jaws and sat down again. He could see her pink tongue. She looked tired and older. He laughed.

‘You think I have…’ he said and laughed once more.

‘Why not?’ said Julia and turned away, thinking this was disgusting.

‘Why not what?’ he said.

‘Oh, get tight or anything.’

‘Who said anything about getting tight?’ for he had already forgotten anyone had spoken about getting drunk he felt so relieved. As if he had escaped, as indeed he had back into slavery again or as if his punishment was over, while it was just preparing. And now Julia was caught back into her old misery, so much so she felt she could not bear it and must get out of here so she went outside to find Claire and Evelyn.

‘Why don’t you tell me about all these thrilling parties and things? What happened with Farmer Bangs?’ Miss Crevy said.

‘Oh, nothing.’

‘No, Max, it was obviously something thrilling.’

‘We went out to bathe.’

‘Well?’

‘And Am said we ought to go back.’

‘Well?’ she said and got no reply; he was looking at Amabel.

‘Yes?’ she said.

‘You know how it is.’

‘That’s just what I don’t know.’

He was the one who laughed now. He laughed and said:

‘Then you’d better learn.’

‘Not knowing isn’t the same as not having learned.’

‘What is it then?’

‘Isn’t he extraordinary?’ she said to Amabel, but got no help from her, she was looking at her toes. ‘My dear Max,’ she went on, ‘even if I do know all the answers it doesn’t mean I know what went on that evening.’

‘You can guess then.’

This was rude but she was not going to give in to any of them again, not even to Max.

‘But what did the farmer say?’ she said and had no answer.

‘Oh, come on,’ she said and stamped her foot.

‘Oh, what did he say?’ she said again.

‘Darling,’ said Amabel turning to her, ‘he said them that are asked no questions won’t be told no lies.’ Max laughed and said it wasn’t him so much, it was his dog. And at this, although she had not been gone more than three minutes, Julia came back to them. ‘My dear,’ she said to Max, ignoring those others, ‘I’m afraid Claire’s Auntie May is rather bad.’

‘Rather bad you say?’ he repeated after her, not having taken this in.

‘Yes, rather bad I said, though I think it’s worse than that.’

‘I can’t help it,’ he said. ‘She’s got a room, hasn’t she?’ and Amabel asked him if Claire’s aunt was coming on their party too, and he laughed and said he did not know.

‘How can you stand there and laugh, Max darling, really,’ Julia said, not because she was worried about how ill the old thing might be but so as to get him out of this room, no matter how.

‘I say,’ he said, rising, ‘that’s bad.’

‘I thought you ought to know.’

He stood quiet. Amabel was looking at Julia. ‘Poor Claire,’ she said, ‘what a shame.’

‘What about a doctor?’

‘Oh, they had one in hours ago, Max.’

‘What did he say?’ Angela said, getting finally in on this story at last. And Julia, realizing, felt she ought to explain, and while she was explaining thought she would pass over what the doctor really said about Miss Fellowes, they would only laugh when they heard and Max would pay no more attention. ‘Well, you see, Angela darling, Claire did not want anyone to know, you know how people are that way. Anyway,’ she said, lying, ‘I believe this aunt of hers asked Claire not to say one word to anyone; you see she felt she had been trouble enough already, Max had been perfectly sweet and taken her a room. She did not want to be any more bother, did she, because after all we are supposed to be going off on our holiday, aren’t we? But still, Max, my dear, there it is and I thought you ought to know. As a matter of fact the doctor was very worried about her.’

‘What did he do?’ said Max.

‘What did he do?’ she echoed, ‘why, what do doctors do? Of course he got his fee, Robert paid him, but you know what they are; he went away again; she might die for all he cared.’

‘Where is Robert?’ he said. He could not bear it if anyone in any party of his paid for anything.

‘Downstairs in the bar. Why?’ she said.

‘Can’t have that, you know.’

‘Oh, Max, you are sweet!’ she said, ‘but really, after all, it is his own aunt and she was not in our party; really she’s got nothing to do with you.’

Amabel asked herself why then come to bother him about this old trout, and then told herself she knew.

‘Can’t have it,’ he said cheerfully, as people do when they are living up to their own characters.

‘Darling,’ said Amabel, ‘don’t be so like yourself.’

‘I wish you would help,’ Julia said and then thought why not put it on to Claire. ‘Poor Claire,’ she went on, ‘she is so worried.’

‘What’s that crack for?’ he said to Amabel.

‘What crack?’

‘Don’t be so like yourself or something?’

‘Oh, nothing,’ she said and smiled up at him as if he enormously amused her.

‘Well, if that’s all,’ he said still looking at her, ‘then I’d better go see what can be done.’

‘But I mean,’ said Angela, and they all turned surprised for they had forgotten her, ‘I mean would Claire like that? I thought she wanted nobody to know,’ she said with malice.

‘Claire’s upset, poor darling, it’s horrible for her,’ Julia explained and at this moment Alex came back in again.

‘There’s no one anywhere like your Toddy,’ he said to Amabel and looked tremendously pleased. ‘The things I’ve found out about you, you’ll never be able to be quite the same to me again with all I’ve got on you now. Really Am, it’s fantastic, you can’t imagine, I mean it makes coming and all this waiting worth while. Not of course that it isn’t heaven our all being here together and all that, only there is so little to do, but have baths and gossip. Why, what’s the matter, it’s nothing I’ve said or done is it? You all look as if you’d been at one of my uncle Joe’s board meetings.’

‘It’s about Claire’s aunt, this Miss Fellowes. She’s very ill.’

‘I know all about it, Julia, you told me ages ago and tried to be frightfully mysterious about it.’

‘I’m very worried about her.’

‘I’ll bet you aren’t really,’ he said, ‘and if she’s going to die, even, what difference—’

‘Oh, no, Alex,’ she said.

‘—does it make to you?’ he went on, and she said ‘Alex, no, no,’ again. ‘Well,’ he said, ‘we’ve all got to come to it some time, though why it should be here of all places I can’t imagine.’ While he was talking Miss Crevy looked at him with loathing. ‘Oh, I know,’ he went on, ‘I know she’s not so bad as all that but I don’t care anyhow and I advise everyone to feel the same. Otherwise I shall go home,’ he said, blushing with anger all of a sudden, ‘yes, and I shall advise everyone to do the same. We all fuss too much.’