Henry Green - Nothing

"No Jane there are occasions you can go too far!"

There was a pause which she filled by getting him more sherry.

"I'm sorry John but I mean every word for the best."

"Doesn't one always? Is that a valid excuse?"

"She doesn't."

"Then what exactly do you hold against the poor woman?"

"She's not poor she's even very attractive in her own way, though of course she must have been to have the success she has. Oh what it takes to keep on learning one isn't the only pebble on the beach!"

"You don't suppose Dick Abbot is enamoured?" he asked with a degree of sarcasm in his voice.

"Richard?" she cried. For a moment she returned to her usually gay manner. "That sweet man! Never in the whole wide world!! How could he be?"

"Then Jane you just can't really accept any soul who sees Liz?"

"What d'you mean? That I care who she sees?"

"No, quite" he agreed in a small voice.

"All I said was" she went on "and presuming oh yes I am on old friendship, was that she couldn't mustn't be the one for you-t think I mean mustn't, really John darling!"

"And why? How mustn't?"

"But the woman drinks."

"Now Jane that's most unfair. You know she never has."

"I'm very sorry to say I know nothing of the kind."

"Good God then where and when?"

"My dear John! In the bedroom I expects."

"How can you speak of her bedroom?"

"Why should I know? I don't get in it."

"No Jane this is honestly almost unpleasant. We might, we may from time to time have had something for each other, Liz and I, but really I don't feel you have the right-"

"Don't I darling?"

"In what way then?"

"If I see you take a wrong turn, after all these years can't I say what I feel?"

"But we're here tonight to talk about the children."

"And isn't that just what we are discussing John?"

"No we never seem to get away from my own marriage which I give you my word is the first I've heard and which seems to be Liz all the time."

"Do you maintain she doesn't drink then John?"

"Well she certainly wasn't bottled at Eddie's as Maud Winder said she might be."

"How can you tell?"

"But I was there Jane."

"I'm going to say something darling, may make you rather cross. It's simply that when you're out with her you sometimes are inclined to take a drop too much yourself."

"Oh now Jane this is preposterous! I wasn't that way at Eddie's."

"How can you possibly judge my dear? Oh I'm not trying to make out you are a soak like poor William Smith, so much so that his wife had to leave him, you remember sad Myra-what's happened to her-couldn't face pouring the whisky down his throat when he lost his arms? I'm not pretending anything. I only maintain which I shall until the day I die that when you're out with the woman, and it's not necessarily anything noticeable, you aren't sometimes a very good judge perhaps of how much someone else has taken."

He swallowed air three or four times.

"I still don't see how all this has to do with Philip and Mary" he objected.

"I do" she said.

"Well how then?" he almost shouted.

"Now you're simply not to bully me in my own house" she announced. "I have such a headache into the bargain."

"I'm sorry Jane" he said, quieter.

There was a pause after which she said in a small voice, "I had no call to tell you what I did either."

"Oh I know you meant it for the best" He smiled.

"I not only meant it, it was best" she rejoined.

"Very well" he agreed. "But you might admit you could be wrong about Liz."

"Of course I may. Yet I'm not."

He swallowed air again. "All right darling" he admitted.

"That's better" she said.

"Still I don't get drunk Jane."

"No there I admit I went too far dear John. I got upset."

"Dear me!" He smiled. "What we all go through when the children want to settle their lives for themselves."

"What we go through to avoid what we might have to go through" she took him up at once.

"Yes very well Jane" he agreed.

"Oh my headache is so bad" she said visibly wilting.

"You ought to lie down."

At this moment Isabella flung the door open to announce something in a flood of words, presumably that dinner was served. Mrs Weatherby thanked her.

"It's hammering round my head" she wailed.

"Why don't you go along then Jane?"

"D'you know I simply feel I must. But whatever will you think of me?"

"I'll bring you yours in on a tray."

"You'll do nothing of the kind" she objected. "What would Isabella simply think? No when I get one of my sick headaches I just can't eat anything. I must shut my poor aching eyes in the dark. But what will you do John dear? Oh how rude I am!"

"I can get a bite at the Club."

"Certainly not. No you'll dine here I insist. Not that it'll be worth having. Oh dear!"

"I'm so sorry Jane and I hope you'll be better tomorrow. Sure there isn't anything I've foolishly said?"

"How could there be? No you'll simply have to forgive."

While he kissed her cheek as she prepared to leave he ventured once more, "And you've heard nothing fresh from the children?"

"Not a word" she replied, then disappeared tragically smiling.

SOON after this, with the day's work done, Mary Pomfret came to her father when he was alone over an evening paper.

"Daddy is there any news?" she asked.

"Of the wedding stakes?" he cried. "But I have none."

"Because oh dear it's not going well I think Daddy!"

"Engagements never do my dear."

"You are such a comfort" she said. "And it's so complicated. Still I suppose everything always is."

"I nearly went mad when I became engaged to your mother."

"Did you? Oh Daddy what I want to know is the line Mrs Weatherby's taking?"

"Funny you should ask. I took old Dick Abbot out and put him that very question. I should think he sees more of Jane than anyone these days. He seemed rather to be of the opinion she hadn't quite made her mind up yet. Now you know I consider I can read Jane as well as the next man and I'd say myself she was enthusiastic, hand on my heart I would."

"Then you haven't heard this extraordinary story that Philip and I are really half brother and sister?"

"What?" he yelled and nearly shot out of his chair, crushing the newspaper in the process.

"Here let me do that" his daughter said and picked those sheets up to pat them fiat again. She kept her eyes from off his face.

"If you would only tell me who'd said it then I'd have the law on 'em" he panted.

"My future mother-in-law" she murmured.

"Jane did! You can't be serious Mary!"

"Daddy, do say it isn't true!"

"True! You must be insane. Good God! Good God!!"

"Well is it?"

"No of course not."

"How can you be sure Daddy?"

"Because I am."

"I'm terribly sorry but you see this means rather a lot to me."

He controlled himself. "Of course, must do, monkey" he said.

"And you couldn't possibly be?" she insisted.

"Oh well you know how things are" he lamely explained. "Jane and I certainly saw quite a bit of each other about that time, the time he was born I mean. But the thing's utterly preposterous."

"Because if it was true I don't think I could ever speak to you again."

"I do realize that Mary. Look you've got to listen to me. I know you'll think I have a special reason for telling you this but you must believe your father!"

At this point she handed the newspaper back neatly folded.

"Oh thanks" he said. It seemed as if his train of thought had been broken for when he went on he said, "Jane surely never told you?"

"No she didn't. I went down to ask her at Brighton as a matter of fact and when I got there I simply found I hadn't the gumption."

"I'm not surprised Mary." He tried a laugh. She actually giggled a moment but still kept her eyes away from his. "I must say!" he added and laughed louder. She did not respond however and he returned to his serious manner.