Sholem Aleichem - Tevye the Dairyman and the Railroad Stories

The man’s beaming face clouded over for a second, but no more. A moment later the sun came back out, the clouds vanished, and he was as radiant as before. The smile once more on his lips and the sparkle back in his eyes, he went on with his story:

“Well now, where were we? Yes. And so I made up my mind to run over to Kashevarevke, to Itzikl Borodenko — that’s the rich Jew I was telling you about. Naturally, I didn’t set out empty-handed just like that. I took a letter with me from our rabbi, I did. (Our rabbi in Kodny is known all over.) A lovely letter it was, too: ‘Inasmuch as God in His beneficence has enabled you to bring home a professor in your hour of need, and inasmuch as our Alter’s son, may you be spared such sorrow, is all but on his deathbed, may your heart be so moved to pity him that you will trouble yourself to prevail upon the aforementioned professor to pay a call on the sick boy for a quarter of an hour between trains on his way home, which must pass close to Kodny. May the Lord requite you …’ and so on and so forth. A lovely letter.”

Suddenly there was a blast of the whistle, our train came to a halt, and my queerly dressed Jew leaped up and exclaimed:

“Eh, another station! I’d better have a look at the first-class car to see how my professor is doing. I’ll tell you the rest when I get back.”

He returned beaming more brightly than ever. If I weren’t afraid of sounding sacrilegious, I would say he was in a state of divine grace. He leaned forward toward my ear and said to me in a whisper, as if he were afraid of waking someone:

“He’s sleeping, my professor. God grant he sleeps soundly, so that his mind will be clear when we reach Kodny … Only where was I? Oh, yes, in Kashevarevke.

“I arrived in Kashevarevke, that is, went straight to the man’s home, and rang the doorbell once, twice, three times. Out comes a fellow without a hair on his chin and with two blubber lips that he keeps licking like a cat and says to me in Goyish, ‘ Chto nada ?’ ‘I should say there is,’ I said to him — and in Yiddish, mind you. ‘If there weren’t, why drag myself here all the way from Kodny?’

“He listened to that, still licking his chops, shook his head, and said, ‘We can’t let you in now, because the professor’s here.’ ‘But that’s just it,’ I said. ‘It’s because the professor is here that I’m here too.’ ‘What does someone like you want with a professor?’ he asks. That was all I needed, to have to tell him the whole sob story! So I gave him our rabbi’s letter and I said, ‘It’s kind of you to take the time to chat with me when you’re in there and I’m out here in the rain, but please take this document and deliver it straight to the master of the house.’ He took it, he did, and left me standing on the outside side of the door, still waiting to be asked in. I waited half an hour. I waited an hour. I waited two hours. It was pouring cats and dogs and there I was, totally out in the cold. I tell you, it was beginning to annoy me — though not so much for my sake as for our rabbi’s. After all, that letter wasn’t written by someone who was born yesterday. (Our rabbi in Kodny is known all over!) Well, I gave that bellpull a few good yanks. Out comes Blubber Lips again, this time looking fit to kill. ‘The nerve of a Jew,’ he says, ‘to ring like that!’ ‘The nerve of a Jew,’ I say, ‘to let a Jew stand two hours in the rain!’ With which I made as if to step inside — wham, bang, I’ll be a monkey’s uncle if he didn’t slam the door in my face! What was I supposed to do now? It wasn’t exactly a cheerful situation. To go home with nothing to show for it would not have been very nice. In the first place, it would have looked bad: I happen to be something of a respected citizen in Kodny, far from a no-account, in any case … And besides, it broke my heart to think of my poor son …

“Well, God is great, as they say. Just then I took a look and what did I see but a droshky pulled by four horses draw up right at the door. I went over to ask the coachman whose it was, and he said it was Borodenko’s, come to take the professor to the train. In that case, I thought, things are beginning to look up. Way up, in fact! Before I knew it the door of the house opened and there he was — I mean the professor: an elderly little man, but with a face … what can I tell you? An angel, an angel from heaven! After him came the rich Jew, Itzikl Borodenko, as bareheaded as the day he was born, and lastly Blubber Lips himself carrying the professor’s satchel. You should have seen that man worth maybe over a million, God help me, with his two google eyes and his hands in the pockets of an ordinary coat just like we wear in Kodny! God in heaven, I thought, is this who You give the millions to? Go argue with God, though!.. Well, Borodenko saw me standing there, gave me a googly look, and said, ‘What do you want?’ ‘It’s like this,’ I said. ‘I’ve brought you a letter from our rabbi, I have.’ ‘What rabbi is that?’ he asks. Would you believe it? He didn’t even know what rabbi I meant! ‘From the Rabbi of Kodny,’ I said. ‘That’s where I’m from, it is. I’ve come from Kodny,’ I said, ‘to ask the professor,’ I said, ‘if he would be kind enough to see my son,’ I said, ‘for a quarter of an hour between trains. I wouldn’t wish it on you,’ I said, ‘but I have a son who’s practically at death’s door.’ That’s exactly what I said to him, I’m not making up a single word of it. What was my line of reasoning? My line of reasoning was, here the man’s had a tragedy, his daughter took poison, who knows but it touched a heartstring somewhere that will make him pity a poor father like me. Would you like to know what kind of pity he had? He didn’t say a blessed word to me; he just googled Blubber Lips as if to say, ‘How about getting rid of this pest of a Jew for me, eh?’ Meanwhile my professor had taken a seat in the droshky with his satchel. In another minute I could kiss him goodbye. What was I to do? I saw I had better act fast. It’s now or never, I thought; whatever will be will be, but the child must be saved — and so I got up all my nerve and whoops! flung myself at the horses’ feet … What can I tell you? That I enjoyed those nags breathing down on me? I can’t say I did. I can’t even tell you how long I went on lying there or if I went on lying there at all. Maybe I didn’t. All I know is that in less time than it’s taken me to tell you all this, the old professor was standing over me and saying, ‘Chto takoye, golubchik?’ He told me to speak up and not be afraid. So I picked myself off the ground and told him everything, with Borodenko standing right there and looking at me cross-eyed. Speaking Russian, you know, is not my strong suit — but God gave me strength and the words came by themselves. I bared my heart to him, I didn’t keep a thing back. ‘It’s like this, Professor,’ I said. ‘Maybe you were sent by Providence to make me a gift of my child, the one and only son left out of six that were born to me, may he live to a ripe old age. If money is the problem, I can let you have twenty-five rubles — that is, please don’t think that they’re mine, because wherever would I get so much cash from? They’re my wife’s, she put them aside to buy stock for her store the next time she went to town. But you can have them,’ I said, ‘all twenty-five of them. My wife’s store can go to the Devil as long as you save the boy’s life!’ And I began to open my coat to take out the twenty-five rubles. ‘Nichevo!’ he says, that little old professor, laying a hand on my arm and helping me into the droshky — may I live to see my son as healthy as every word I say to you is true! I ask you: is an Itzikl Borodenko worth the little finger of a man like that? Why, he would have watched me die in cold blood, he would have! God Almighty came to the rescue in the nick of time, but just suppose that He hadn’t … What do you say to that, eh?”