V Alexander - The Taster

“That was very, very stupid,” he said. “I know what you did. Who else would do it?”

I pulled away from his grip. “What I did? You killed Minna. The SS will be on high alert now.”

He scoffed. “They are always on high alert at headquarters.” He leaned closer to me. “I didn’t kill Minna, but I’m fairly certain I know who did.”

Karl turned and looked into the dark woods. Nothing stirred as I waited for his answer.

“Franz killed her,” he said sharply. “He, too, saw her behind the cinema as we were leaving. I told him what Minna said to you. Franz believed she was dangerous and had to be… eliminated.”

As much as I hated the thought running through me, I was glad Minna was dead. She had heard too much and I knew she would use any means to work her way into Hitler’s favor. She was no longer a threat. I was also relieved that Karl hadn’t killed Minna; however, the war was taking its toll on me. How could I be happy that a woman had been killed and that we were at least partially guilty of her murder? My soul seemed blighted and I was disgusted at my own inhumanity. I was unprepared to deal with such feelings.

The severity of our situation struck me like a hammer blow. First Ursula and now Minna. Two women had died because of plots to overthrow Hitler. More deaths were sure to follow. A hollow feeling opened inside me as I contemplated our uncertain future. “Do you think anyone suspects Franz?”

“The damn SS is so concerned with keeping the Führer alive, they may not give Minna’s death more than a passing thought.” Again, he looked over his shoulder to the path, which lay in darkness. “But what if they suspected Minna of trying to poison the Führer? Perhaps they’ll think that was why she was killed. Your little trick actually might have helped us.” Karl shook his head in disbelief. “No, no, it’s too insane. Magda, you must never try anything like that again unless a plan is in place. So much could have gone wrong. As it is, with Minna’s murder and the attempted poisoning, the Colonel will be out for blood. She may be a small fish to them, but the situation is still dangerous. I only hope he takes a day or two to investigate and then closes the case—unsolved. Otto’s in deep trouble, too, thanks to you.”

A violent shaking wracked me and my back scraped against the rough bark of a tree. The square-jawed face of the Colonel appeared in my mind, his teeth gritted in anger.

Karl took me in his arms and the heat from his neck drifted across my face. I wanted him to make love to me, to ease my fear, but what would it matter? We were doomed, if not through our actions, then by the uncontrollable events of war. He kissed me. “Let me take the chances from now on. Don’t be a martyr.” He kissed me again and then backed away. “We need to get out of here before we both do something we might later regret. You go first. If anyone stops you, tell them you were out for some air.”

I reached out, pulled him close, unwilling to let go. His skin was moist and hot and our embrace added to the night’s warmth.

We clung together for a few minutes before he gently released me. “Go now. Tomorrow is the day. Avoid the field to the east of the Wolf’s Lair. It’s not safe to walk near the outer perimeter because of the land mines. Treat the day like any other.” He gave me a lingering kiss.

I walked away without turning back and soon was on the path to my quarters. I walked slowly, as if in a dream, even as mosquitoes swarmed around me. How could I treat the day like any other? I clutched my stomach, which was knotted with fear, took a deep breath and tried to calm myself. I had to put on a brave face for Karl.

When I arrived at the dormitory, Minna’s bed and locker had been cleared. Else, her eyes red, sat on her bed. I said hello and she burst into tears.

“I’m going to kill myself,” she said between sobs. “I can’t go on. I’ve been here all evening, paralyzed—afraid someone will murder me.”

I sat across from her and offered what little comfort I could. “It’s truly awful. We live in a terrible time. Perhaps your job here is finished. Another girl will be here soon and you can move on.” I wanted to lift her spirits by adding that Minna’s murderer would be caught and justice meted out, but, in truth, I didn’t want that to happen.

I was too upset to talk anymore. I undressed and crawled under the sheet on my cot. The vent hummed as the bunker’s claustrophobic walls closed around me. Dora arrived after midnight. Else sniffled in her bed. I tossed and turned, wide awake, thinking that today could be Karl’s last day on earth.

Dora got up early and dressed in full SS uniform. Her hair was pinned back and she wore a regulation cap. She fussed with her skirt and shoes, walking incessantly between the washroom and our quarters. I couldn’t imagine why she was so concerned with her appearance unless something important was happening. Else had none of Dora’s energy. She only managed a meager smile as she got dressed for her breakfast duties. I tried to assure her that other tasters would be there in addition to a new girl who would join us shortly.

I wasn’t on duty, but I had no desire to sleep in, in our cramped quarters. One idea for the morning came to mind: offer my bookkeeping services to Cook in the officers’ mess hall. She could always use a hand when it came to inventory. At least work might keep my mind off Karl. Dread had been my constant companion since Karl had told me that today would be the day. I wanted to beg him to abandon this deadly mission, but I knew I couldn’t change his mind. Sorrow and fear threatened to overwhelm me. I shoved the frightening thoughts aside as I began my day, but they were always there, lurking.

I showered, dressed and made my way to the hall. The August day was sunny and warm with excitement on the breeze. I couldn’t see it, but it crawled over my skin as I walked. The air crackled with tension.

When I arrived, I was surprised at the number of SS officers, including generals, and other important staff members crowded inside. One in particular stood out. He was a large man with a big belly. He looked like a king holding court. From pictures, I recognized him as Hermann Göring, the Reichsmarschall. He smiled and puffed out his chest whenever he spoke, as jolly a Party member as I had ever seen. Albert Speer, the Armaments Minister, was there, looking somber, yet dapper, in his field jacket and knee-length black boots. I recognized him from the few times I had seen him at the Berghof. He kept slicking his hair back with his hand. Hitler wasn’t there, but he couldn’t have been far from the hall. The Bormann brothers stood apart, as was their custom, eyeing each other from across the room. A number of men turned their attention to a smartly dressed older man in a business suit.

I walked to the kitchen, intending to ask Cook if I might help out, but she was waving her arms and shouting orders to anyone who would listen. Apparently, the officious crowd had worked her into a tizzy. The smell of baked apples lingered from the ovens. Else and three other girls from a different dormitory sat on stools near the tasting table. I assumed they’d finished their jobs and were awaiting additional orders. Dora orchestrated the whole scene like a conductor.

I moved back to the hall. Karl, in his dress uniform, stood near Speer. While they talked, Karl gave me a look. We caught each other’s gaze with a quick glance. The signal that crossed between us was one of mutual avoidance. I took a seat at a vacant table near the kitchen.

A short time later, a high-ranking officer, apparent from all the medals on his jacket, entered and gave the Nazi salute. Everyone snapped to attention. The officer pointed to the small windows on the front of the hall. Hitler, dressed in his double-breasted field jacket, dark pants and cap, stood waiting on the path with his hands clenched behind his back.