Lars Sveen - Children of God

He smiles, opens his mouth, and even the teeth are there, Baasha’s teeth, or are they Reuben’s? But then he falls silent.

“What’s that?” he says.

Anna can feel it in her hands, getting warmer.

“What’s that?” he says again.

Flapping. Anna hears it and looks up. A bird is flying in there, a black bird.

“Andrew,” says Anna.

“Andrew?” says the man. “I didn’t see any Andrew, where did you hide him, who is he?”

Before Anna can say any more, the bird swoops down toward Anna. Feathers so black. Say “I loved you.” With a gaze so empty and distant. Then Anna gets up.

“I loved you,” she says.

“What is this?” says the man. “Has some of his light reached in here?”

He comes over to Anna and grabs hold of the bird.

“Do you think you can come here with wings like that?” he says. He closes his hands around the black-winged creature. Anna hears a small snapping sound. Or is it something crackling, a fire catching dry twigs? The man opens his hands, and light comes spilling out of them. Light has come, and it cascades on down to Anna and Esther. It falls between them and the man, and the man steps back. He looks at his lantern, which has gone out. He looks at his hands.

“This means nothing,” he says. “I’ll return. You can play with your little light as much as you want.”

Then he turns and starts walking back farther into the cave, while Anna and Esther sit there by the light. Esther falls right over, and Anna picks her up. She tries to find the way out. The light moves, it makes its presence known. The cave narrows. Anna has to carry Esther on her back, with her arms around her neck, while crawling for both of them. The light burns and vanishes, but she keeps on crawling. She thinks she hears soldiers speaking a foreign language and striking swords on shields. Everything’s dark now. Some people shouting, and something rushing in the air, and then it all slams to a stop. Again and again, and it makes her think of animals being driven across a field. She hears banging, as if somebody were hammering nails into wood, and she hears something snap, and there’s laughter and a faint voice begging. She hears animals snarling and tearing at something, and she still can’t find the way out. Then she hears her name.

Somebody was calling out in the dark, and Anna tried to get up. She put Esther down on the ground, and everything around her vanished. The air seemed so sharp and clear, and high above, the stars sparkled through the night.

“Anna?” somebody shouted, and Anna answered.

“Here,” she shouted. “We’re here.” A number of their group were coming, and Andrew was the first to find her. He put his arms around Anna, picked up Esther, and gave her to Orpah.

“Where have you been?” Andrew asked. “We’ve been looking for you. What were you doing out here at night?”

Anna was about to answer, but just as she opened her mouth, Orpah said that they should get some rest.

Andrew nodded. “That’s right, we must get back to Nazareth.” He stroked Anna’s cheeks and forehead. Anna tried to speak to him, but he just hushed her. “It’s all right,” he said. “It’s all right. We found you both.”

“Where’s Jesus?” Anna asked. Orpah was sitting with little Esther, who was asleep and stirring gently beside her.

“She’s hot,” said Orpah. “I’m going to stay awake and keep an eye on her.”

“He’s gone off on his own,” said Andrew. “He does that now and then. Nobody knows when he’ll be back.”

“You should sleep,” said Orpah. “You both need some rest.”

“What were you doing out there?” Andrew asked. He stared at Anna, as if he were searching for a sign, or something that could tell him what had happened.

“It was nothing,” said Anna. “She wanted to show me her king, but we got lost in the dark.”

“You should have found your way back,” said Andrew. “Why did you go so far?”

“Andrew,” said Orpah, “let her get some rest, it’s night. Get some more water, Esther’s so hot.”

Andrew got up, but he stood there, looking at Anna, then at Esther, and then back at Anna again. It was quiet; most people were sleeping. The meal had finished a long while ago, and the town was resting. An animal plodded past next to them, making Anna turn and stare out into the darkness. Something moved just beyond them, maybe a rat looking for scraps of food. Maybe a smaller animal digging in the sand.

Anna lay there throughout the night, listening to the world in darkness. Every time she closed her eyes, she heard the sounds from the cave, cold and raw, trying to piece together a story she didn’t want to hear. She lay there awake until a glint of day returned, until the light spread imperceptibly across the sky.

Esther crept over to Anna and lay next to her. The girl wasn’t too warm anymore; she smiled and laughed when Anna asked her about her king. Esther didn’t know what she was talking about. When Anna took hold of her little body and shook it, Esther began to cry, and Orpah lifted her up. “It’s all right, Anna’s just tired, it’s all right, my little girl.”

Jesus returned. He was thinner, but he no longer seemed tired or exhausted. Anna thought there was something else too, something about him that had changed but that she couldn’t put into words. He went over to Anna, kissed her on the head, and whispered to her, “I’ll tell you, not here, but I’ll tell you.”

Later that day, in the shade of some trees, and with buzzing from the flowers around them, Jesus sat down with Anna. Andrew hadn’t asked what was going on, he’d just said that he’d wait, that he’d be there when she came back.

“I know you’re wondering,” said Jesus, “why Esther doesn’t remember anything, but you remember everything. Evil is reaching out for me. It’ll tear some of you away from this world, but it won’t be able to keep you.”

“What was he?” asked Anna.

“He’ll come to you in dreams, but he can’t touch you. He’ll try to tell you a story, but you’ll believe in our story. You’ll remember him, but you’ll remember me too, Anna. Call for me if he comes to you again.”

“It was Andrew,” said Anna. “It was Andrew who came.”

Jesus fell silent. He sat still, and his eyes were dark and warm.

“A beacon has been lit,” he said, “for all love that’s lost.”

Anna closed her eyes and lowered her head. Everything that had gone, everything that was left. She saw Andrew, she saw Ruth. She saw Orpah, she saw Esther. She was back in her small house in Sychar, she was back by Jacob’s Well. It was the bird it started with, the black bird.

“All I can remember is Jesus, all I can remember is opening my eyes, and there was Jesus by the well.”

This is how Anna wishes to tell the story the morning she dies under the palms at Ashkelon surrounded by her nearest and dearest. Andrew has been gone for a long time. Anna’s become old, older than many of the others from the group. She saw what they did to Andrew, and she’s heard rumors and been told stories of how others have died. She held some of them in her own arms. She took Andrew down from the cross and buried him.

Now it’s her turn. Orpah and Esther are there with her. Barely a year will pass before Orpah passes away too. Esther, no longer a child, will sit by both Anna’s and Orpah’s beds. She’ll never mention the King again, she never speaks of the night when she and Anna disappeared. Esther’s story begins when she finds Anna, and Esther’s story ends when Orpah dies. A disciple says that once, a short time after this, he saw a woman with the same devil’s mark as Anna’s little Esther when he was in Jerusalem. She was going around asking for somebody called David, but he’s not sure, he’s so old now.