Lars Sveen - Children of God

“Esther,” she said. “Stop.”

“It’s here,” said Esther.

“I can’t see anything,” said Anna. “We’re too far away from the others. Maybe this can wait until tomorrow, Esther, maybe you could show me this king when it’s light?”

“It’s here,” said Esther. “Can’t you see it?”

Anna stared into the darkness ahead of them, and there, she saw it now. There was a deep shadow in the darkness. Esther took her hand again and pulled her closer to it.

It was a cave, and they’d have to crawl inside. Esther let go and disappeared. Anna could hear her crawling into the cave. She followed her, kneeling down and feeling her way forward with her hands.

“Come back, Esther,” said Anna. “We can’t do this in the dark.”

No answer. Everything had suddenly fallen silent. Esther had gone.

“Esther,” Anna shouted.

It was too late to turn around, she couldn’t leave Esther in there, so she’d have to follow. She crawled, her knees bashing into stones. Then she tried to stand up. “Esther, Esther,” she said, first loudly, then more quietly, as she realized to her astonishment that she couldn’t reach the ceiling of the cave with her hands. It was no longer a small, dark cave. She held her fingers out ahead of her in the faint glow, and they were covered by a strange color. “Where am I?” she whispered, and Esther answered, as the little girl suddenly appeared, standing by her side.

“We’ve arrived at the King,” said Esther. “He’s waiting for us.”

“King?” said Anna, kneeling down in front of Esther. “Who is this king, Esther? Maybe we should go back. If something happens, nobody would find us.”

“He’s my king,” said Esther. “He took care of me when I was younger, he protected me. I was his queen, but he sent me away.”

Anna had never heard Esther speak like this. The words were streaming out of her mouth. Her hands moved in time with her words. She smiled and seemed happy, so Anna thought that it couldn’t be anything threatening or dangerous in there.

“But why the cave, Esther?” Anna asked. “Can’t you ask him to come out? Can’t you ask him to come and join the others outside?” Esther didn’t answer. Instead she knelt down and bowed her head.

“Meet the King,” she said.

Anna gets up.

At first, she’s frightened by the man approaching them. Then she notices that there’s something familiar about him.

“No,” she says. “That’s impossible.”

The man stops and lifts up the lantern he’s holding. He’s old, his eyes are a grayish white, and he strokes her face with his hand.

Anna wants to run out of there, but it’s impossible to move.

The man smiles slightly, and lowers his lantern, shrouding his face in darkness.

“I’m blind, and yet I see many things,” he says. “What do you see?”

Then he raises his lantern, lighting up his body.

The man in front of Anna makes her quake. He’s found her. He’s lured her in here, away from the others.

“What do you see?” he asks again.

“How did you find me?” she asks.

“I never lose anybody,” he says. “Answer my question. What do you see?”

“Reuben,” says Anna.

“Good,” he says. “Now, look again.” Then he lowers his lantern to the ground, leaving it there for a moment before lifting it back up again. Again, he stares at Anna, and again he asks her, “What do you see?”

Anna gasps and holds up her hands.

“What do you see?” he asks.

“No,” says Anna. “No, dear God, help me, go away, be gone.”

“Silence,” he says. “Silence and answer my question. What do you see?”

She tries to stand up straight again while looking at him.

“Baasha,” she says.

“Good,” he says. “Now, don’t be afraid.” And again he lowers his lantern, again he leaves it hanging down by the ground for a moment, before lifting it back up again.

“There,” he says. “What do you see now?”

Anna struggles to stay standing. It feels as if something’s holding her up, something inside there. She stares at the man in front of her.

“Aaron,” she says.

And with those words, she falls down to her knees too. Esther remains silent.

“I’m none of them,” says the man standing there. “I’m not that King David who your little girl thought had come back. I’m not your Reuben or Baasha or Aaron either. You’ll always think that I’m the one you lie awake waiting for. The one you dream about returning.”

“No,” says Anna. “I’m not waiting for them, I don’t want them back.”

“You’re not listening,” he says. “This isn’t about what you want. This is about what you know will happen, what you know will come. We’ve met each other before, Anna. Do you remember? I was there when Reuben broke your leg. I made that small mark on your leg. I straightened you out, I gave you to Reuben, and Ruth disappeared. Now I’m back. The one you’re with now, your master, likes to tell stories. But they’re not real. They’re not of this world, like mine are.”

“My master fights against all evil,” says Anna, putting her hands together. She starts praying the way she has been shown, trying to remember the words she and Orpah say with Esther every evening.

“A prayer?” he says. “Not now, I don’t want things like that here.” Anna feels her hands disobey her, letting go of each other and falling down by her sides.

“You think that I’m evil,” he goes on to say. “You think that I’m the ruler himself of flames and demons and all those things you come up with. But I’m not evil. I’m just what stays in the shadows while the light falls elsewhere. So don’t come with your prayers, not here. You pray for good, but good and evil are nothing to pray about. You should pray for a story to belong to, one you can believe in, one you can doubt. We’re filled with faith and doubt. Did you believe yourself when you believed your master? I say that doubting or giving up is natural. I’d like to have a word with you. Could we be alone for a minute? I’m hardly ever sure, I’m doubting even now. Can you believe that? I give you my word.”

Anna tries to look at Esther, but the little girl is lying there prostrate, not making a sound.

“She can’t hear us,” he says. “She’s somewhere else.”

“Are you her king?” Anna asks.

“No, I’m nobody’s king,” he says. “Esther sees the man who looked after her. The man who gave her a place to belong. That was her king. She’s nothing to me, she’s just here to lure one of you to me.”

“She’s with us now,” says Anna. “She’s with Jesus.”

The man turns away, the lantern swaying slightly in his hand. He rocks back and forth with his back turned to them, before turning around again and looking down at Anna.

“Your master,” he says. “I want to speak with him, that’s why you’re here, Anna. I want to meet him, your master, your lord, your king. If not him, then somebody close to him. I’ve tried to meet Simon Peter, but he’s difficult to turn. Maybe you could be a good place to start. Imagine what a story it would be if you all lost your faith, if you weren’t up to following him. Imagine how such a story will cast shadows and light everywhere. Everything he’s trying to say now will vanish. Something else will be created.”

He stares at Anna. There’s Reuben, there’s Baasha, there’s Aaron. His face changes.

“What do you want with me?” Anna whispers. “Why am I here? What do you want with us?”

“I’m not going to harm you,” he says. “Neither you nor Esther. I won’t touch you, but I have a story, and I think I will sow it in you. A tiny seed, he likes to talk about seeds, doesn’t he? You’ll be the first one to hear this story. I’m going to tell you how it will all end, what will happen.”