Tracie Peterson - Dawns Prelude

Lydia pulled away and hurried downstairs. Maybe it was best if she didn't remember. She got the distinct feeling that something very had awaited her in her memories.

Lydia stoked up the fire. The flames greedily accepted the logs she offered and soon the room seemed much cheerier. Lydia sat down by the fire and began to rock. She hummed a song, not knowing why she knew it or what it was.

Kjell had said music was very important to her, and she looked at the violin case now and frowned. Lydia had been sadly frustrated the times when she had picked up the instrument. She wanted to play it, but she had no idea how.

"It's not fair," she said, gazing at the ceiling. Zerelda had told her to talk to God when she felt overwhelmed. "Are you listening to me, God?" She didn't ask the question out of anger but of desperation. It was so hard to consider that the God of the universe would give her needs even the slightest consideration, but her aunt had assured her it was true. Every Sunday when they gathered as a family to read Scriptures, Kjell would lead them in prayer. Lydia felt that God was very real-that He did care but she couldn't really understand much else.

"I want to remember. Oh, Father, why can't I know the truth?" Tears began to form in her eyes. She hugged her body and rocked. "I just want to know who I am."

She continued to rock, hearing the rhythmic creak of the chair on the floor. Tears streamed down her face. Lydia stared into the glow of the fire and wondered if she would ever he able to fill the void in her mind.

"Liddie?"

She startled and turned. It was Kjell. He saw the tears on her face and hurried to her side.

"What's wrong?" He looked almost fearful.

"I don't really know. I felt frightened for no reason. It's silly," she admitted.

Kjell took out a handkerchief and knelt beside her. He wiped her tears so gently. "It's not silly. You have endured a great deal."

"I just want to remember. I was working upstairs, and when the rain started to hit the windows… well, it scared me. For just a moment, I thought I remembered opening the window the night of the storm. But then it was gone, and I couldn't remember anything else. I still feel afraid."

He stood and pulled her into his arms. Holding her for several minutes, Kjell said nothing. The warmth of his embrace made Lydia feel safe, and she realized that now was the moment to tell him to come back to her-to come home.

"Kjell," she whispered. "Please come home."

Pulling away, Kjell looked into her eyes. "What are you saying?"

"I want you here… with me. I want us to he together. I feel so much better when you're here. You've been so patient to wait for me, but I don't want to wait anymore."

He gently touched her face. " Lydia, I want that more than anything, but I don't want to do it simply because you're afraid."

"It's more than that," she assured. Reaching up, Lydia put her arms around his neck. "I was already convinced of it before the rain came." She smiled. "I was even trying to figure out a way to suggest it without seeming too forward."

Kjell laughed. "Be as forward as you like, wife of mine."

"In that case, perhaps you would like to see to the fireplace in our bedroom."

"Is there a problem with it?"

Nodding, she smiled and moved away from him. "Yes. It wants for a fire."

Evie cooed at Dalton and shook a rattle in front of his face. "See here. See how pretty"

He tried in his uncoordinated manner to reach out. Evie helped him take hold of the toy and for a moment, Dalton gripped it and flailed his arm. Then just as quickly he dropped it.

Evie picked him up and smoothed her hand over his dark brown hair. He looked very much like Lydia, she thought. She remembered Marston's sad story of finally finding where their stepmother had gone, only to get there as she was dying in childbirth.

"Poor baby," she whispered against Dalton 's cheek.

She had agreed to take her little stepbrother and raise him as her own, but she couldn't help but think of Lydia. In fact, Lydia was the reason she had decided against seeking a divorce from Thomas. She would focus on raising Dalton for his dead mother.

Evie had always liked Lydia and had secretly longed to spend time with her to feel the connection to a mother figure once again. Jeannette, however, had threatened Evie on more than one occasion. "Don't you dare like her," Jeannette had said. "If you like her, it means you hate our mother "

That had caused a battle to ensue in Evie's heart. Could her sister he right? She couldn't understand why doing one thing meant the other must happen, as well.

Frowning, Evie struggled to forget the past. She focused, instead, on the baby in her arms. Dalton didn't make up for the lack of love in her life, but at least with him here, she had someone to care for-someone who needed her.

"Oh, my sweet boy, your life has started so tragically, hut I promise to be a good mama to you." She kissed his nose, and he reached to take hold of her face. Laughing, Evie whirled around gently, holding Dalton high in the air. "You will see. We will have a good life together. I will love you just as Lydia would have loved you.

"Mrs. Gadston, your brother is here," Miles announced from the arched entryway

Evie turned and lowered the baby as Marston entered the room. "What brings you here?"

"I wanted to see my little brother." He crossed the room with a box in hand. "I've brought him a gift."

"That was very considerate," Evie declared. "Would you like to hold him?"

Marston shook his head. "That's quite all right. I really have no use for him at this age, but when he's older… well, things will he different then."

Evic was puzzled at her brother's statement, but she said nothing. Instead, she kissed Dalton 's cheek, then put the sleepy baby to her shoulder. "I do wonder, though…"

"Wonder what?"

"Shouldn't we make some attempt to bring Lydia 's body hack to Kansas City and bury her properly in the family plot? I mean, Dalton may one day wish to visit her grave."

"It was completely impractical. I would have done it had it merely been an issue of the cost. However, her aunt wished for her remains to he buried there in Sitka. I didn't want to grieve the old woman further-after all, I was taking Dalton from her."

Evic considered this a moment. Just then, the nurse came to put Dalton down for his nap. Already the baby was starting to nod off. Evic handed him over reluctantly.

I suppose you did the right thing. We can always journey with Dalton when he's old enough and wishes to see where his mother was buried."

He shrugged. "Perhaps, though I doubt he will care." Marston seemed to dismiss the idea. "I'm glad to see you getting along so well with him. I wasn't certain that you would be comfortable, but knowing that Jeannette has her hands full with the two she already has, I haven't even told her about the baby."

"You haven't told Jeannette? I fail to see what harm it would do." Evic saw Marston frown and decided not to press him further. "Would you care for refreshments?"

No, I can't stay. I have several meetings this afternoon." He came to where she stood. "It's important that we say nothing about Dalton being here. I hope you will remember to keep your promise concerning that."

She shook her head. But why? It doesn't make sense."

He took hold of her shoulders and tightened his grip. "It doesn't have to make sense to you-you just need to adhere to my desire in this matter."

Evie frowned. She knew her brother was up to something, but for the life of her she couldn't understand what. "Does this have something to do with the will and Lydia 's inheritance?"

Marston appeared to consider her question for a moment. "Yes. It has to do with that in part. There are other reasons that I cannot disclose at this time. Suffice it to say, we need to keep things quiet. It's really for Dalton 's best interest."