Robert Sermaise - The fleshly prelude

"Yet another victim of masculine brutality!" concluded my Uncle, sententiously; and on looking once more at the photographs he added:

"It's a pity all the same, for she is jolly good looking. And well-made, too, eh?"

"Diana personified. Neither too plump nor too thin. Moreover, as supple as a willow-wand."

"Lucky chap! You said that the marriage was fixed for…"

"July 20th."

"Next Wednesday?… And since when have you been engaged?"

"Officially since last Thursday, the very day of my return from Shanghai."

"This is bewildering. You mean to tell me that you'll have the shameful courage to… to…"

"Oh! she has advanced beyond that: she holds a Licentiate's degree in both literature and history. Above all, her reading has been most extensive; and whatever she has read she has assimilated perfectly."

"All that is very, very bad."

"Why so?"

"With a body so perfectly formed as this"- my Uncle tapped the photographs with his forefinger-"a young woman who is passionately fond of study must certainly, as Freud would have said, be suffering from a complex due to repressed sexuality… And what a complex it must be!.. The whole gamut."

"That holds forth a prospect not wholly disagreeable."

"Obviously, provided the man is skilful. But a veritable artist in love is called for and not a frantic tourist such as you are. For, believe me, my dear nephew, the danger in these young women resides in the fact that they are at one and the same time most sensual and yet rather unsociable; certainly capable of flaming like a torch-and for their whole lifetime if one knows how to awaken them; but at first hesitating, like a flame which still flickers; and this flame threatens to go out on the very first day if it is handled without due precaution. In short, I'll explain everything to you soon… Proceed with your story."

"We spent three weeks after that fashion- three weeks of delicious intimacy: intellectual and moral. I was able, wholly at my leisure, to appreciate Therese's qualities, and I found her to be a sterling young creature, — affectionate and spontaneous, yet reserved and reflective.

On the eve of my departure I confessed my love for her…"

"In the moonlight and to the sound of muted violins… and amidst kisses!"

"No, no, — nothing of the sort! I told Therese that I loved her-I asked her to become my wife. Whereupon she turned pale and declared that she felt deeply sympathetic towards me. But her final words were that both of us had need to reflect. I had great hopes of a kiss, which, despite her words, would, in a way, have pledged her. But she refused.

However, she did so in a very friendly, most simple manner, while explaining to me that she was not yet sufficiently certain as regards her future decision."

"Ah! Ah! All the same that was rather cold on her part."

"I'm giving you only a rough outline of what happened. In her voice there were those warm inflections which are hardly ever to be mistaken; and on the following day I was wholly satisfied. Early in the morning, while I was fastening my luggage, she knocked at my door.

This must have cost her a good deal. She seemed quite out of breath and spoke so quickly at first that I had difficulty in understanding her.

She begged me not to be put out by her reply of the previous nightnot to regard it as a refusal. What she feared, she went on to explain, was a hasty decision, given-perhaps-unduly, under the influence of the sorrow my departure caused her. And as she spoke of my imminent departure she made a poor little grimace after the manner of a child who is swallowing down its tears. Then, suddenly, she fell upon my shoulder and wept."

"Whereupon you dried her tears with your ardent kisses."

"I ought to have done that-eh? But she came to me so trustfully; she seemed, suddenly, to be so helpless. I did not dare to take advantage of her!"

"Bravo! Bravo!"

"You find me guilty of stupidity? Believe me, had she been a woman, or a semi-virgin… But in the case of so young a girl…"

"Why make so many excuses for yourself? Do you take me to be a brute?"

"Two days later I embarked for Shanghai… And then followed two years of exile which, this time, were indeed a heavy burden. However, we had arranged to write to each other by every mail."

"What about the Cerberus?"

"You mean her Grandmother? Well, Therese saw to that. Moreover, four months after my departure we became semi-officially engaged."

"By proxy? And I suppose the betrothal kiss was bestowed by Wireless?"

"Manifestly we had to wait until last Thursday for that…"

"I suppose that during the last week you have made up for lost time?"

Here I shrugged my shoulders, irritated by this cross-examination, and somewhat at a loss how to reply, for Therese and I were under close observation. It was on the sly and ever on the spur of the moment that we managed to kiss each other. But my Uncle understood this quite well, as indeed his words proved:

"Grandmamma Rolland shows crass stupidity. Her conduct is more than bewildering. It's positively criminal… Think of it-betrothed for a fortnight and not allowed a moment's intimacy. My dear nephew, you are going full-steam ahead towards a catastrophe."

"Come now! A catastrophe? You are exaggerating. This has happened in the case of other people."

"Don't talk to me about other people! I know you through and through.

You regard marriage seriously. You want your wife to be really your mistress. And indeed you're jolly well right there; for nothing better has yet been invented than a husband and a wife who love each other carnally-totally-without the slightest reticence, or false modesty.

Yet you are going to spoil everything."

"What would you have me do then? I'm off back to China in six weeks.

Must I wait for the eve of my departure to get married?"

"Oh! no, — anything but that… Bunks inconveniently narrow… seasickness… passengers keeping you continually under their observation!.. Very bad conditions for a honeymoon voyage, — I mean a real honeymoon between a gentleman and a lady who are capable of understanding the importance of what they are about. Here! — have a cigarette and let me explain my ideas to you. You can carry them out or not, just as you like. Anyway, my conscience will be more at its ease."

My uncle glanced at his pipe-which had gone out-as though in search of ideas; then he methodically emptied it by a regular succession of little taps on the edge of the ashtray, before remarking:

"Can you spare the time to listen to me?"

"Certainly. You can quite understand how deeply this question interests me."

"Good!.. First of all, let us try to fix the boundaries of the problem. What are we aiming at? Our object is to manufacture conjugal love. Not that spurious affection-based on financial interests, or the dictates of the fashionable world — which so often goes by that name. What we want is a total-that is to say, an intellectual and fleshly-union between two beings who make love to each other and… don't care a damn for anything else. Do you agree with me?"

"Absolutely."

"Now, in order to manufacture that sort of love, it is perfectly clear we require raw material of the finest quality, — that is to say, a woman with an infinite capacity to give forth vibrations and a man who has a passion for love."

"But if he loves too ardently he will not be content with conjugal pleasures."

"Ah! — there you make a mistake, — a great mistake, my dear nephew.

A man who plays the part of a Don Juan, without being able to fix his mind anywhere, is not a true lover. He is generally a neuropath. And if he finds excitement in novelties, it is through a necessity to restore a punctured erotism which is periodically becoming deflated."