Tracie Peterson - Dawns Prelude

Swinging his legs over the side, Kjell sat and wondered what the hours ahead would hold. Would this be the day Lydia would wake up?

He reached for her hand. "Please wake up, Lydia. I can't bear being without you. I need you more than I ever thought possible." He slipped off the bed and knelt beside his wife. "I went to the house yesterday, and nothing was the same. It will never he the same without you. You have to get better."

Tears blurred his vision as he kissed her hand. "I love you more than life, Liddie."

Kneeling there, Kjell prayed as he had never prayed before. He pleaded with God for Lydia 's life, careful to say nothing about the missing baby. Silently, he added his petitions for the child, knowing full well that the mother and son were so tightly connected that each would suffer without the other.

He felt someone touch his shoulder and thought it was Zee, but when he opened his eyes and looked up, he found Dr. Ensign instead.

"How are you doing, Kjell?"

He got to his feet and rubbed the back of his neck. "I feel like I'm just marking time."

"I feel the same. I wish there were something we could do to change the situation, but all we can do is wait." He left Kjell's side and went to Lydia. He put his hand upon her forehead and smiled. "The fever is gone. She doesn't feel hot to the touch-not like yesterday." He listened to her heart and lungs and nodded. "The lungs sound clear, and the heart is strong. I think it's possible she's turned a corner, Kjell. She's fighting again-fighting to live."

The words were all Kjell had hoped to hear, but doubt lingered. "Then why doesn't she wake up?"

The doctor shook his head. "I don't know. I can't know. The body is such an unpredictable science. Just when you think you have it all figured out, it throws you yet another symptom or problem. So much depends on the patient."

Dr. Ensign completed his exam, then motioned Kjell to follow him out of the ward. "Captain Briar is downstairs. He said when you have time, he'd like to speak to you."

"Did he say if he'd found something-the Sidorovs or Dalton?"

"No. He showed up just before I came up here and said he'd wait downstairs in my office. Mrs. Ensign has coffee waiting for you, as well. When you finish with the captain, feel free to join us for breakfast."

Kjell hurried downstairs ahead of the doctor and made his way to the small office. Captain Briar was waiting inside, standing rather formally at the window.

"You wanted to see me?"

The man turned and nodded. His expression was grave. "Please sit.

A vise tightened around Kjell's chest. He reached for the nearest chair but didn't sit. "What is it? Something isn't right."

"No, it isn't. I'm afraid things don't look good. My men located the cabin that the Sidorovs were using. It's on the water and…" He pressed his lips together as if unable to say another word.

"Tell me. Tell me now. I have to know what you found."

Captain Briar cleared his throat and hesitated a moment longer. "We found Anatolli Sidorov His body washed up on shore, along with debris from a small boat and other things."

"What other things?"

"There were articles of clothing-baby clothing."

"No. You're wrong."

The captain moved to where Kjell stood. "We didn't find the baby, but we feel… that is… with the boat destroyed… well, it's just a matter of time."

"Until what? What are you saying?" Kjell heard his own frantic words and knew the answer without asking.

"We believe all of them were lost at sea in the storm," Captain Briar finally said. He reached out to grip Kjell's arm. "Since Anatolli's body washed ashore, we're hoping the remains of the others will, as well."

Kjell shook his head. "You're wrong. You have to he wrong. My son can't he dead."

"I'm sorry. I just don't think he would have survived. Even if the Sidorovs were taking him to the Gray man as you suggested, they had to battle the storm. You know yourself that was one of the worst we've seen in a long while. They were simply unable to keep off of the rocks."

Kjell sank into the chair and buried his face in his hands. How could he ever tell Lydia that their child was dead? At least if he were with Gray, there was hope of getting him hack safely.

His shoulders shook as deep sobs made their way up from his heart. God? Where are you? Why is this happening? How can we bear it?

The captain stayed at his side, his hand still on Kjell's arm. He offered no words of consolation. There were no words. Nothing spoken could make sense of what had happened.

Kjell thought of the tiny boy of his love for this child. He might not be flesh of my flesh, he thought, but Dalton is my son, just the same.

Zcrclda was waiting for Kjell when he finally emerged from the office. She could see for herself that the news hadn't been good. Kjell's red-rimmed eyes bore clear evidence that the worst thing possible had come to pass.

"Did they find Dalton she asked, terrified to even ask the question.

Kjell took hold of her and led her to a wooden chair. He sat down beside her. "No. Not yet."

Zerelda felt a sense of hope. "Then what has you so upset? I thought for sure-"

"They found Anatolli Sidorov and… and… wreckage."

"Wreckage?"

Kjell met her gaze and nodded. "The boat was ripped apart by the storm. There was debris, along with Anatolli's body. Some things belonged to Dalton."

She put her hand to her mouth and shook her head. She knew in her heart what Kjell was trying to tell her, but she couldn't fathom that it could possibly be true.

"Captain Briar believes that in time, Ioann and Dalton may be found, as well. He believes them all to have drowned."

Zerelda's eyes filled with tears as she continued to shake her head. She couldn't bear the thought. Dalton could not be dead. He simply couldn't be.

Kjell put his arm around Zerelda to hold her close, and this was her undoing. She wept softly into her hands. Dear Lord, please don't let this be true. He's just a baby Please, Lord.

Evie made her way downstairs. She was due at a meeting of the Kansas City Orphans and Widows Association, where she and many others of society's finest would share refreshments and determine how best to help those in need.

She sent for the carriage and allowed the butler to help her with her coat. Evie was just doing up the buttons when Thomas crossed the hall and spotted her.

"My dear, where are you headed on this cold afternoon

"I'm going to my meeting for the widows and orphans. Remem- her? I told you about it at breakfast this morning."

He considered her statement for a moment. "Yes, I suppose I do recall that." He gave her a disinterested nod, then said to the butler, "Miles, don't forget to have the carriage brought round for me at eleven."

"Yes, sir," the man replied with a curt nod.

Evic pulled on her gloves. "If anyone comes to call, tell them I'll he receiving later today-after two."

"Very good, madam." He opened the door for her and offered to assist her. "Shall I see you to the carriage?"

"No thank you, Miles. I'll be just fine."

Evic felt the bite of the February air and buried her face in her coat. The coachman opened the door of the enclosed carriage and helped her aboard. Evie settled into the leather upholstery with her face still tucked low as the door was secured.

"I can help keep you warm," a voice whispered.

Startled, she looked up to find Trayton Payne sitting opposite her. He quickly came to her side just as the driver put the carriage in motion.