Mingmei Yip - Song of the Silk Road

One day, when we were very old, we died making love under the moonlight. Ten years later our bodies—preserved by the dry climate and still in the “banquet-from-the-backyard” beneficial position—were discovered by an explorer monk….

The next day, to distract myself from Alex, I decided to call Chris Adams. Keku’s husband gave me a ride to the next village, where international phone calls could be made at a post office.

The connection went through after the fifth ring. A happy surprise!

“Chris?”

“Lily? Why didn’t you call earlier? I’ve been worried about you!” My former professor’s irritated voice rolled toward me from eight thousand miles away. “Where are you now?”

I apologized for not calling earlier, then told him I was now living at a cottage in a small oasis village at the desert’s entrance.

“I decided to live here for a while to have a sense of the place.”

“So you’re really going to settle down on the Silk Road? Then what about me?”

“Chris, don’t be childish; you have your family and I my desert. Anyway, I’ll be back before you know it.”

He again asked the purpose of my trip, but as before, I was evasive. So the conversation went round and round like a cat chasing its tail. Finally I changed the subject to ask about Jenny and Preston, then told him there was no way he could contact me since I didn’t have a phone.

“Then what if you’re in trouble, or sick?”

“Don’t worry, Chris, I’ll take good care of myself. Besides, I’m sure the very nice Uyghur people here will provide help when needed.”

“All right, then take very good care of yourself and call me more often. I love you.”

“Me too,” I said, my declaration sounding unconvincing even to my own ears.

Outside the post office, I walked around to clear my mind and calm my nerves, then went inside a store to do some shopping, and after that hired a donkey cart home.

Back inside my cottage, I vigorously plunged myself into cleaning so I didn’t have to think about Chris and the disturbing phone call. Not long after, feeling exhausted, I put on a Xinjiang music tape and turned up the boom box’s volume. Gradually, the cheerful, rhythmic folk tunes began to soothe my nerves and energize me. I picked up a book and tried to read, but the music was so therapeutic that I closed my eyes instead and let the tunes be both host and guest in my cottage and my mind.

I didn’t know how long I’d been soaking myself in the winelike music when frantic knockings on the door woke me from my dreamlike state. Was it Keku for a chat, or a neighbor to borrow condiments? I hurried to the door.

“Keku?”

I swung open the door and saw the face that had been forcefully pushed out of my mind, yet equally missed.

“Lily, please let me in.”

“Alex, how come you’re still here?”

“Sorry, it’s too cold camping out there tonight, so can I stay with you for just a short while before I find a place?” he said, tightening the jacket around his chest with his trembling hands.

“Of course you can.” I let him in, then closed the door.

“Trust me, Lily”—Alex put down his heavy backpack on the floor—“I won’t… disturb you.”

I almost chuckled at his boyish seriousness, but I kept my cool, even if only on the surface. “Alex, it’s bitter cold out there and I’m not a monster. Stay as long as you want.”

I immediately regretted what I’d said, realizing what this might possibly lead to. I really shouldn’t betray Chris, and so fast! But could I refuse a young man who might freeze to death in a ghost-infested graveyard into my home?

Studying his face, I envisioned what would soon happen as sadness rose inside me.

I snatched my blanket and threw it to him. “Take a seat and wrap this around you. I’ll fix tea.”

I turned down the boom box’s volume, poured water in a pot, and placed it on the gas stove, then started a fire.

Alex’s voice sneaked its way into my ears. “Lily, I really like your place. I’ve never seen something so cozy and beautiful in a desert.”

“Thanks. You’ve been to many houses in the desert?” I cast him a sidelong glance. His face, looking so happy and sad at the same time, tugged at my heart.

When the water was boiling, I dropped in a tea bag, let it brew for a minute, then handed it to my first desert visitor, or intruder, together with a piece of bread with jam.

Alex started to eat and drink ravenously. Poor thing, he must be starving. The bread was a two-day-old leftover, but he ate it with as much relish as if it were a freshly baked French baguette.

“Alex, there’s more food if you want. I just stocked up from the market today.”

“Tell me what you have, and I can cook you a nice meal.” His face rose from the steaming cup, now looking refreshed and spirited.

“Can you cook, too?” The “too,” of course, referred to Chris. I was sure he already understood, this smart kid.

“Of course. I’ve been cooking and taking care of myself since I was ten. What do you have?”

“Salted meat, sausage, herbs, potatoes, onions, canned fish, packaged soup…”

“That’s good enough. Trust me, it’ll be a nice dinner.”

That night, after a very satisfying meal, we made love for the first time. I felt I should give him warmth and love, which he had obviously been hungry for for a very long time. The simple fact was, I did find him attractive. I was beginning to think that the moment our eyes had met, witnessed by the ancient warriors, our fate was linked. Try as I might to blind myself to what was happening, I couldn’t hide from heaven’s all-seeing eyes.

Unlike Chris, who was like a panther filled with masculine energy and could be rough when he felt like it, Alex was very gentle to me as if I were a virgin whose body was shyly covered, or revealed, by silk. His tongue was tentative and his hands were careful to please my body but not hurt it. However, his lack of experience didn’t hinder his passion. He embraced me like a giant octopus, tentacles reaching for every nook and cranny of my writhing body.

When he came, he screamed with abandon, which pleased me tremendously. Zeal, infatuation, longing, desire, hunger, youthful energy, and sadness—all seemed expressed in this long, heaven-shattering scream. A scream with emotion so raw, so rich, and so complex that I was both stunned and moved. Had he experienced so much suffering in his twenty-one years of existence? Wondering, tears swelled in my eyes as I cuddled close to my desert lover.

Alex tousled my hair with his gentle hand; like vintage wine, his voice poured and spread in the dark. “Lily, now our lives and souls are linked together forever.”

I didn’t respond; I didn’t have an answer for that now, or for the future.

He added, “From now on, I will not live without you.”

“Alex, I think you’re too young to know what you really want in life.”

“Wrong, I know exactly what I want since I began to take care of myself at ten.”

I sighed. “ Hai … Alex, relax. Let’s just live in the moment, at least for the time being, all right? I really don’t know what’s going to happen in six months,” I said, thinking of myself and my elusive three million dollars—like the rabbit forever in front of the greyhounds.

Alex was silent, seemingly deep in thought. Involuntarily my lips went to search his. He took my face in his hands, kissed my forehead, my eyes, my nose, my cheeks, my lips. “I’ll take very good care of you and do anything to protect you and make you happy.”

I didn’t respond, but looked out the window at the huge yellow moon resembling a womb as pregnant as my heart, together with the few stars scattered over the sky like diamonds displayed on a black velvet cloth.