Bi Feiyu - Three Sisters

Gao Wei’s looks seemed all right to Yuxiu, but the crucial factor was that he worked in a factory. Pairing up with a worker was something she’d always thought was beyond her reach. Not that she wasn’t a good catch. But there was always the unpleasant fact that she had been raped. That was something Aunty Little Tang did not know, and if she ever found out, any match with her son would be brought to a screeching halt. That would be an enormous loss of face for Yuxiu, and that thought brought bitter disappointment. At my age, I can’t avoid the troubling fact that people will try to get me married. Panic set in, and her thoughts grew confused.

She slept badly that night. As the night wore on, Broken Bridge was as quiet as a deep, bottomless well. The puffing of the mill generator seemed louder now. Unlike kerosene generators, the steam noises were not continuous, but were more like the beat of a hammer, with pauses between each pop. Up till now, Yuxiu had enjoyed that noise, since it sounded distant and not at all annoying; the muted pop s were friendly and usually induced a deep, untroubled sleep.

But not on this night; instead, they pounded against her eardrums. Better, she thought, to tell Little Tang the truth. She couldn’t keep it hidden all her life, could she? But a second later she cursed herself for such idiotic thoughts. Once the word was out, there would be no hope for her. Not only would this match become impossible, but she would have given people something to use against her forever. She mustn’t let that happen. She had suffered enough over that in Wang Family Village and had learned her lesson. Besides, while a match may be what Aunty Little Tang had in mind, nothing definite had been said, so why jump the gun?

Yuxiu climbed out of bed in the morning feeling sluggish. She’d decided to stop going to the bookkeeping office. But on second thought, that was a bad idea. No, she’d keep going. Little Tang hadn’t actually broached the subject, though she’d hinted at it, so if Yuxiu put on a bashful act, that would show that she knew what was going on. Wouldn’t that be the same as a voluntary confession? No point in doing that. If she revealed what she knew, she’d be stuck with no exit strategy, and that would only make things more difficult. Feigning ignorance was still her best option. Given her current situation, how could she even think that this might work out? It was a mismatch from the very beginning. Where could you find anyone willing to eat sugarcane that someone else had already chewed on?

Yuxiu suddenly had a clear picture of exactly who she was. As a female, her value had dropped to virtually nothing. This brutal fact made her sadder than any self-inflicted humiliation ever could. For her, the future held only despair and misery with no tears to shed. At that point she cocked her head and said to herself, Don’t give it any more thought.

So Yuxiu went back to the bookkeeping office, willing to gamble, to take a chance. No matter how she looked at it, an opportunity had presented itself, and she’d be crazy not to grab it. Before setting out for the office, she took pains to make herself up nicely, going so far as to secretly borrow a pair of Qiaoqiao’s red hair ornaments and pin one above each ear. Feeling fetchingly pretty, she quietly went up to Aunty Little Tang, trying to act as if everything were perfectly normal, though Yuxiu was not without a sense that she might be overdoing it. It was an awkward moment.

Her smile came quickly and left just as quickly. She said very little before lowering her head and concentrating on the abacus—on which she made one mistake after another. When Little Tang noticed the ornaments in Yuxiu’s hair, she understood that the girl had caught on, that she knew everything.

She’s no fool, she said to herself. No need to beat a drum. Little Tang laughed derisively to herself. You foolish girl, what good does it do to make yourself up for me? Her plans for Little Wei appeared to be a foregone conclusion. That was not to say there was nothing to worry about—the girl’s rural residence registration, for instance. No matter how you looked at it, marrying someone from the countryside was a step down. On the other hand, if Little Wei married the sister-in-law of Director Guo, that would form a welcome bond between Little Tang and the director. Nothing wrong with that. But then her thoughts took another turn: I’d actually belong to an older generation than Director Guo . [6] If Little Tang’s son marries Guo’s sister-in-law, she would be considered a member of an older generation than Guo’s, which would make her feel either awkward or proud. That thought raised her spirits and brought on a case of nerves at the same time. So what now? How is this going to work out?

Not much happened over the next few days. Other than Yuxiu’s progress in her study of the abacus, there were no substantial developments in the personal realm. But, eager to get things started with Little Wei and Yuxiu, Little Tang began looking for the right time and the right place. Once that was settled, she could remove herself from the picture.

Children have to make their own happiness. It is important for them to go public on their own. Boys and girls can’t always play games of hide-and-seek. Strike while the iron is hot. That’s the line in “The Internationale”: “We will succeed if we strike while the iron is hot,” which can only mean that all people advocate exactly that. So Little Tang invited Yuxiu back to the house, to which she reacted with a look of reluctance. Yuxiu knew what was coming and was not sure how to deal with it. But Little Tang took her by the hand and, without waiting for a response, set out for home. Given her experience in such things, Little Tang knew what she was doing. Since shyness is expected of a girl in such circumstances, a little arm-twisting is called for. The more you twist, the better your chance of getting her to go along. This time, instead of taking the long way around, Little Tang headed straight to the rice mill compound, half of which was taken up by red and green brick buildings that served as rice storehouses. As she gazed at the buildings with their red or green roof tiles, Yuxiu was impressed by the imposing size of the government mill.

“This is where Old Gao works,” Little Tang said. Yuxiu knew that Old Gao was Gao Wei’s father, Little Tang’s husband.

“He isn’t the head of his section,” Little Tang commented as if she were talking to herself, “but his word carries as much weight as the best worker.” Yuxiu tensed when she heard this. She knew Little Tang well enough to guess that she was hinting at something directly related to Yuxiu and her future. What she heard in the comment that Old Gao’s word carried weight was that Little Tang’s word carried more weight than his and that her fate was in Little Tang’s hands.

There is something extraordinary about a government office, Yuxiu mused. Whoever works in one can make decisions that determine other people’s futures.

Yuxiu’s breathing quickened and her mind worked at warp speed, all because of her prospects there at the mill. With growing confusion, she walked into Little Tang’s house. Gao Wei was waiting for them, just as Yuxiu had expected. That saved her from a case of nerves. He’d apparently been waiting for some time and seemed anxious, but he was trying to hold it in—the embarrassed look on his face bordered on anguish. Yuxiu, poised by comparison, was in control of her emotions. They sat in the living room, Gao Wei facing south, Yuxiu facing north. Little Tang, facing east, kept them company by engaging in meaningless small talk. The atmosphere was both casual and strangely tense. They sat like that for a short while before Little Tang stood up as if something had just occurred to her and said, “I was going to buy a watermelon, but it slipped my mind.” Yuxiu quickly got to her feet, but Little Tang gently pushed her back down.