David Goodis - The Blonde on the Street Corner

In the kitchen they wet the celery to make the salt stay on. They chewed away at it.

Ken pointed to the window. “Look at the goddam snow,” he said.

“It’s pretty,” Dippy said.

Ken went into the living room with his pencil and paper. At the piano he pecked at the keys and started to draw lines on the paper.

In the kitchen Dippy looked out the window, at the snow. It was an army. It was marching down a big hill. In the valley the enemy waited. In the white valley down there a big battle would take place. Down the big hill came the army of white soldiers. Down they came.

At the piano Ken was frowning and hitting the keys slowly.

The door opened. Ralph walked in.

“Listen to this,” Ken said. He played a few bars.

“Let me hear that again,” Ralph said.

Ken played it.

“Is that all?” Ralph said.

“I just started on it.” Ken whirled around on the piano stool. He said, “Where you been keeping yourself?”

“Around.”

“You ain’t been here since a couple days before Christmas.”

“I guess I just forgot to come over. I was over to see George.”

“Didja have a nice Christmas?”

“Yeah,” Ralph said. “My grandparents came down from Doylestown. My grandfather brought a few bottles of wine. My old man started to pack it away. He was funny. My mother got sore but she couldn’t help laughing at him. We were all laughing. Then my grandfather started in.” Ralph laughed. He said, “The old guy was pouring it down fast and before he knew it he had a load on. He and my old man got together and they were a couple of real comedians. My sister Ewie got sore because she had that guy Mayhew up at the house. The floor manager. They’re gonna be engaged. My sister Ewie was telling my grandfather to behave himself. While she was yelling at him the old guy fell asleep.”

Ken laughed. He said, “Maybe this Mayhew can get you a job.”

“Maybe.”

“What kind of guy is this Mayhew?”

“Sort of a wise guy,” Ralph said. “But I guess he’s all right.”

“Whadja get for Christmas?” Ken said.

Ralph said, “My parents gave me a couple shirts, my sister Ewie gave me a tie, and Addie got me some handkerchiefs.” He had taken the week’s pay from Blayner’s and bought his father a hat, his mother a brooch, Ewie a nail-polish set, Addie a bottle of perfume. After that he had a buck and a half left over. He bought a bracelet. He didn’t put any card in the box. He didn’t want her to know he was sending her a Christmas present. He just wanted her to have a bracelet for Christmas. He mailed the package to an address seven houses from the corner of a dark little street.

Ken was saying, “I sent my old man a marvelous Christmas present. We got a gas bill. He’s always getting himself worked up about the gas bills. So I sent this one to him in Vineland, and on it I put ‘Merry Christmas.’ I can just see him burning.”

George walked in, shaking snow from his coat and his legs. He put his hand in his pocket and took out two one-dollar bills and handed them to Ken.

“What’s that for?” Ken said.

“Room and board.”

“Get the hell out of here.”

“Come on,” George said, pushing the bills at him.

“Don’t bother me,” Ken said.

“You know you can use the dough,” George said.

“All right, but I won’t take it off you. You can lend it to me if you want to.”

“Then I’ll lend it to you,” George said. He forced the money into Ken’s hand.

Dippy came in from the kitchen.

“Tomorrow is Saturday,” he said.

“That’s wonderful,” Ken said.

“We’ll have a party,” Dippy said.

“I got a good idea,” Ken said. “Call up those broads who stood us up last time. When they come here we’ll be waiting for them with clubs. We’ll knock their brains out.”

“That would be nice,” George said.

“I’ll get something entirely new,” Dippy said.

He turned the pages of the telephone book. He saw a name, and he looked at the address.

“Got something?” Ken said.

“This looks exceptionally good,” Dippy said.

George and Ken laughed.

Dippy dialed the number.

A girl got on the phone.

“Hello,” she said.

“Hello,” Dippy said.

“Who is this?”

“An old friend,” Dippy said.

“Who?”

“Philip Wilkin.”

“Who?”

“You know — Philip ”

“I don’t know any Philip.”

“You’ve got a bad memory.”

“Who did you say this was?”

“Philip Wilkin.” Dippy took a quick glance at the address. He said, “Theresa Jones introduced us.”

“Who’s Theresa Jones?”

“Now I’m sure you’ve got a bad memory,” Dippy said. “Theresa used to live on the next block from you, on Nedley Street.”

“When did this happen?”

“About ten years ago, but I have never forgotten you.”

“What?”

“I said that I have never forgotten you.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I am a successful system engineer.”

“What?”

“I would like to see you again,” Dippy said.

“Say, listen here, if this is some smart aleck trying to play a joke on me, I’ll—”

“I don’t care for your attitude.”

“You listen to me, you smart aleck you. I am a respectable widow and I have five grown children. My two sons are six feet tall and they weigh over two hundred pounds apiece and I’d just like to—”

Dippy banged the receiver down.

“She’s a widow,” he said. “Weighs two hundred pounds.” He turned the pages of the telephone book.

“Here’s something,” he said.

He dialed a number.

“Hello.”

“Hello. This is Philip Wilkin.”

“Who?”

“Philip Wilkin, an old friend.”

“Yeah?”

“Of course. I met you at Gardenia Dancing Gardens, remember?”

“Listen, I never was at Gardenia Dancing Gardens in my whole life. What kind of bum do you think I am?”

“Now please,” Dippy said. He cupped his hand over the mouthpiece and to his friends he said, “This is all arranged.”

“Who is this?” the girl said.

“I told you. Philip Wilkin.”

“I don’t know any Philip Wilkin.”

“Well, maybe I got the wrong party,” Dippy said.

“Well?”

Dippy waited. Then he smoothed his grease-sleeked hair and he said softly, “You have a very nice voice.”

“Thank you.”

“I would like to meet you.”

“You would?”

“Yes, I would like to meet you. I am in town for a short business trip. I am here for a convention of system engineers. Several of my associates are here with me. Would you like to have your friends meet my business associates? They are all system engineers.”

“Listen, if you’re such a big business man, how come you were at the Gardenia Dancing Gardens?”

“I’m in a big hurry,” Dippy said. “I have an important appointment and I can’t waste any time. I want you to bring yourself and three friends tomorrow night. We’re having a big party.”

“Where?”

Dippy gave her the address.

Then he said, “Now I want you to tell me definitely if you and your friends will come, so I can tell the caterer just how many places to set at the table.”

“Why don’t you meet us at my house?”

“I’m in a big hurry,” Dippy said. “Are you coming to the party — yes or no?”

“Well — yes, but—”

Dippy banged the receiver down. “It’s all set,” he said.

On Saturday night, as Ralph arrived at Ken’s house, he could see no lights inside. He wondered where the guys were. He wondered what had happened to the party. He rang the bell a few times and nobody answered. He stood in the street and looked upstairs. The windows up there were dark.