Diane Williams - Angels in Action - Stories to Inspire

She asked about my diagnosis. I spoke briefly about rheumatoid arthritis (RA). She told me she had never seen anyone with RA confined to a wheelchair. She made little remarks: “How awful,” “What a shame,” “You poor thing.”

From the onset of my RA, these pitying little comments had become commonplace. Initially, I found myself angry, and questioned my value as a human being. I had my five-minute pity party, believing I served no purpose other than to provide my care team with employment. The need to be accepted as a valuable, worthy human being was one of the most vital aspects of my life. I found myself defending my existence to myself, justifying my right to just be a human being. I verbally thanked my Creator for the many facets of my life that still functioned: my cognitive skills, my active mind, and my five functioning senses.

So I’ve learned to protect my dignity. It’s amazing to me how frequently people think they have it better than me. Physically, certainly the Meals on Wheels representative is stronger and more mobile, but how else is she better than me? And how do those ways matter? None of us are truly any better than anyone else. We are put on this planet for the glory of God and the encouragement of one another.

I interrupted the woman’s simpering platitudes and asked her why she was saying these things. I live with this every day, I reminded her, and I get to experience all the disadvantages of having RA and using a wheelchair. I have this disease, and there is nothing I, nor any doctors, can do to alleviate it—but I try to find the silver lining in my life every day. That lining keeps me from falling into depression and developing a case of the “poor mes.” I look at the blessings bestowed on me, and I show my gratitude.

The Meals on Wheels lady was surprised. She told me there were so many people complaining in less-crippling circumstances. “My God, they should see you. You are remarkable. You have a great disposition, you’re pleasant, and you have a kind attitude.”

There will always be moments when we are faced with seemingly insurmountable odds. As much as you may think I am cursed, I am blessed too. In addition to gaining the respect of the woman who initially pitied me for my RA, I’ve also gained the assistance of the organization she represented. Now, Meals on Wheels comes along and feeds me three times a week. I’m blessed with three less meals I have to be concerned about. And I get to share the source of my blessings with you.

My blessings come from a source greater than me. It is within me, and my hope is that it shines from the inside out. I believe I am more thankful than most. When people assist me—whether they are motivated by money, the goodness of their heart, obligation, or anything else—I am grateful that God thought of me that day, in that moment, and continues to provide and bless through the actions of his creations.

What would doctors do without people with health challenges? What would the Meals on Wheels program be without people to serve? We need them, and they need us. We all need each other.

I believe my treasures are within. I went within and found strength and solutions.

Still, I get exhausted from having to defend the limitations disability carries. So many well-meaning people are constantly focusing on my limitations. They judge my worth and my value to my family, my friends, my community, and our world based on my physical abilities. Frankly, I am sick of people, especially my friends and relatives, reminding me of the effect of my disability instead of rewarding my abilities

I’ve been parenting on my back, raising two children from the bed to the wheelchair. I’ve achieved a master’s degree while travelling on wheels. I’ve bought a home. I’ve had the sense to divorce a man with whom marriage was no longer the blessing it was meant to be. And in my greatest moments, leaning and trusting God, being joyous and in peace, I keep an ear to prayer and listen for God’s inspiration. I’ve learned to be fearless. And, living fearlessly, my faith has grown by leaps and bounds. I’ve entered and won a few writing contests. I’ve taken God’s word and travelled independently on my neighborhood streets. Enjoying my passion for the success of others, I am eager to awaken morning after morning.

I cannot help but wonder, does their pity for me bring them joy, power, or satisfaction? In other words, do they see themselves as more of a person than me because they are mobile? Maybe their self-esteem needs a boost, so they point out the shortcomings in my physical health. A person living with a disability may be unable, but that does not mean she is necessarily incapable. Those of us with disabilities can give you something just as good as you can give us. Why do you think a physical gift is more important or valuable than inspirational gifts—gifts like patience, love, kindness, and peace? Who are we if we are alone? Who are we without peace?

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid” (John 14:27).

A person without peace is more pitiful than one confined to a wheelchair. I thank God for the chair. Years ago, there was no chair. Thank God for your blessings. Do not boast. Tomorrow you too could join me in a wheelchair of your own.

“Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me” (II Corinthians 12:8-9).

Reflection: Go within and BE DIGNIFIED …therein lies your power. Love God’s people. All humankind need respect and dignity. Don’t assume someone has a terrible life just because you expect it would be.

Diane Williams is a freelance writer, spiritual coach, prayer counselor, and inspirational speaker. She writes profiles, book reviews, feature articles, and media kits. Her works appeared in such publications as Guideposts , Angels on Earth , PLUS , Pray! magazine, the San Dimas Writer’s Workshop’s Tales from the Authors: Stories, Essays, and Poetry Vol. 1 , and When God Makes Lemonade: True Stories That Amaze and Encourage . She also is the author of the blog: mindofagoddess.wordpress.com. Angels in Action is her debut book and she is currently working on her soon-to-be-released book, The Invisible Child: A Memoir .