Diane Williams - Angels in Action - Stories to Inspire

Reflection: Go within and BE CONTENT ...therein lies your power. Travel the road put before you, knowing that God is guiding you toward greatness.

Have you ever been truly afraid of the one thing you really wanted? I have. I wanted my independence, but fear crept into my psyche in an attempt to keep me from my desires. I wanted the independence a mobilized wheelchair could offer me, yet I was afraid to go down my ramp alone. Besides the few practice sessions with the therapist, I haven’t been on a ramp alone in twelve years.

At the tender age of forty-three, after rheumatoid arthritis invaded my body, leaving all my joints practically immobile, the only treatment for me was to sit and be pushed around.

Several years passed and the disease continued to destroy my joints and mobility, resulting in my inability to push myself. The doctor suggested a mobilized wheelchair as a solution. I resisted at first, believing that the mobility in my arms would return if I worked hard enough. Yet years went by and the disease continued to exacerbate my limbs. Finally, I began to see the benefit that a mobilized wheelchair would offer, a benefit that my doctor, therapists, and friends repeated so often: independence.

My therapist decided that I needed a motorized custom-built wheelchair. The sales representative told me that it would take several months to design the chair. However, it took a little over two years. Finally, after all that waiting, she arrived with the chair and the ticket to my independence!

Driving that 300-pound wheelchair around the house turned out to be a cinch. After mastering that feat, I figured that it was time to move to the next level and drive the chair outside. I really wanted to go outside because I hadn’t ventured out alone in twelve years, and I adamantly wanted to change that part of my life. I wanted as much independence as possible, and I knew that my wheelchair would give it to me.

I rolled into my family room and approached the ramp in the front door. I wanted to go outside, yet I was hesitant—OK, scared.

When crossing the threshold onto the ramp there is a small bump, which makes the chair pop up a fraction of a centimeter onto the ramp. I thought about the pop and fearfully wheeled away from the door.

My mind pondered the many times I went down the ramp with my therapist and everything ended up being fine. I prayed, “Lord give me the courage to wheel down this ramp.” I visualized myself rolling down the ramp safely. I then took a deep breath, placed the speedometer to “turtle,” the lowest speed, and I grasped the joystick. Holding tightly, inch by inch I moved slowly down the ramp.

Yes! I was ecstatic—so ecstatic, in fact, that I decided to drive midway down the block. I moved so quickly and easily that I decided to go the full block. The sky was clear and a cool breeze surrounded me. I was confident, thrilled, feeling adventurous and enjoying my independence.

Moving along, singing and greeting everybody on the streets, I cranked up the speed from first to second to third, out of the five speed ranges my chair offers. I decided to go around the block. At the end of the next block there was a cul-de-sac. I traveled to the end, turned around, and turned up the next block. I spoke with everyone I saw along the way.

I had so much fun that I turned around and continued heading south. Who would’ve known that the next street was a cul-de-sac as well? I sang and moved the speed gear up to “rabbit,” top speed.

Moving toward the end of the next block, I spotted a footbridge. I remembered seeing the bridge a few years ago, when my aide and I ventured out for a tour of the neighborhood. I remembered that the bridge led to the opposite side of my house. I also remembered that we didn’t cross it, but I couldn’t remember why.

I rolled up to the bridge and pondered for a moment. I looked it over and proceeded to move up the bridge. Everything was fine until I got midway. Oops! The bridge descended into a slope like the ramps in the kids’ skateboard park. It was too steep!

There was no way I was going to attempt to traverse the abyss below. I blew my horn and began backing up. I was doing quite well until I met a tree in an unfriendly manner. Bang! “Oh heck,” I said as I pulled the joystick forward.

The chair didn’t move; it didn’t even wiggle. I pulled the stick to the right and then back to the left—nothing. My neck is practically immobilized as well, but I turned my head as far as I could—no one in sight. I watched the ground, hoping for an advancing shadow—again nothing. Next, I listened closely, hoping for the sound of approaching footsteps—still nothing. I called out “Help!” several times, but there was no answer.

There I sat stuck in the mud against a tree, a huge oak. If someone were to walk by, they would never see me. I came to the conclusion that there was no one on the streets. Fear was threatened to take over my mind— You can’t be independent —now what? I had a little self-talk: Diane, stop focusing on the circumstances. Independence is your desire and God is your source—seek Him.

Instantly, my mind reflected on the scripture from Deuteronomy 31:6: “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.”

I called out, “God, help,” and I closed my eyes, visualizing myself being rescued. I then opened my eyes and yelled, “Help, help!”

A woman appeared. She looked as if to be in her early thirties, fit and toned, wearing a neat pair of khaki pants, matching top, and sneakers. As she approached, she asked in a calm patient manner, “What can I do to help you?” I explained to her the function of my chair’s power release bars. She attempted to reach them and reported to me that the tree was blocking her access to them.

“Darn it!” I said aloud, becoming more discouraged.

Meanwhile, the woman looked at the wheelchair, rolled up her sleeves and placed her keys on the ground. “Don’t worry,” she said confidently, “I’ll help you.” She squatted down and gave me directions. “Turn the chair on. Now move the joystick to the right. Okay, now to the left,” she said as she moved the chair. “Now go forward.” I followed her directions and the muddy wheels rolled onto the cement.

“Hallelujah!” I shouted. She smiled.

I introduced myself, and in turn, she introduced herself as Michelle, and explained that she happened to be checking on her grandmother when she heard my call for help.

She offered to walk me home. I thanked her for her gracious invitation, but declined and dashed away full speed ahead alone. I traveled home singing all the way, enjoying my freedom—independence on wheels!

Reflection: Go within and BE COURAGEOUS …therein lies your power. Courage renders fear powerless, so use it to move ahead to your desired venture.

Today, a woman from Meals on Wheels came to interview me. My daughter opened the door, and when she came in I offered the woman a seat. She was a pleasant woman; she leaned over and shook my hand, and we exchanged greetings. This lady on my couch began to explain the Meals on Wheels program to me. She said she needed some papers to be signed, and she called my daughter into the room. The lady reviewed the entire program again with my daughter, and asked her to sign the document. My daughter looked at me, knowing that I needed to approve of her signing my name to anything. I gave her the okay.

I asked the woman why she gave my daughter all the information she had just given me. She began to explain that she had assumed I must have been taking a lot of pain medication for my illness, so she thought I might be forgetful. I was quick to inform her that my brain worked fine. In fact, I said, it is quite strong—and I take pleasure in using it, one of the few elements of my body that works.