Фэнни Флэгг - The Wonder Boy of Whistle Stop

That very second, Big George pulled the trigger and blasted a large black hole in the bottom of the boat, taking the shattered hull and what was left of the snake down with it. As the boat began to sink, they both had to swim over to the bank and pull themselves out of the river.

Big George had destroyed the boat, but he had also saved her life. A bite from a cottonmouth was deadly poisonous and probably would have killed her faster than he could have gotten her to a hospital.

They were both sopping wet as they walked back to the car and Idgie said, “I didn’t like that old boat much anyway, did you?”

Big George laughed. “That’s good, because it’s on the bottom of the river now. Along with all them fish we caught, too.”

“Yeah, that’s right. But I’m just glad you’re a good shot. Anyone else might have shot my foot off.”

“I tried not to.”

“Whew…He was a big ole boy, wasn’t he?”

“That he was. Five to six pounds I’d reckon.”

—

MOST PEOPLE WOULD have panicked at the sight of a big snake like that so close to them, but, thankfully, Big George wasn’t afraid of snakes. Working outside in the backwoods, he had handled a lot of snakes in his day.

But then, Big George was kind of fearless when he had to be. He’d once jumped into a hog pen and saved a three-year-old child who had fallen in. And as everybody knew, hogs will attack and eat anything, and Big George still had the scars on his arms to prove it.

After they’d dried off with some old rags, Big George left in his truck to go back home, and Idgie got back into her car to follow him. But before she did she pulled out the bottle of whiskey she kept hidden under the seat and took a few swigs. Coming that close to being bitten by that snake today had really shaken her up. As she sat there, she started thinking about how unpredictable life is. One moment you’re alive, and the next one you could be dead.

She took another swig. Idgie had promised Ruth on the Bible that she would never go back down to the River Club. But, on the other hand, Ruth wouldn’t be back from Bible camp until tomorrow. And Idgie sure didn’t feel like going home right now. It was just up the road a bit. Maybe she would stop by for just one drink. What could one little drink hurt?

—

THE RIVER CLUB was a long wooden building with a string of blue lights strung around the porch. The minute you opened the door, you were greeted with the strong smell of whiskey and stale beer, and the sound of loud music and people laughing inside. Idgie loved it.

ATLANTA, GEORGIA

2015

RUTHIE WAS AT home reading the paper when the phone rang. Wondering who would be calling her so early in the morning, she picked up. It was her father, sounding extremely excited.

“Hey, Ruthie, guess what? I’ve got myself a cat.”

“What?”

“A cat! A big long-haired orange tabby. He’s sitting on the table staring at me right now.”

“A real cat?”

He laughed. “Yes, a real cat.”

“Who gave you a cat?”

“Nobody. I was walking around the grounds yesterday and he came strolling out of the woods, and followed me right up to my room. And when I opened the door he walked right in.”

“Well, Daddy, you know he must belong to somebody.”

“No. I checked. He doesn’t have a collar and he’s pretty beat up. So he’s definitely a stray. And the poor thing was starving. He ate almost an entire chicken last night. Isn’t that something?”

“Yes, but, Daddy, you know you can’t have a cat at Briarwood.”

“I know that. But just the same, I’ve got me a cat. Anyhow, honey, when you come out today, could you bring me some cat food, a kitty litter pan, and a bag of kitty litter?”

“But, Daddy, you can’t have a cat.”

“He’s a very smart cat. I’m calling him Virgil. And by the feel of him, I’d say he’s a good eighteen pounder…probably has a lot of coon cat in him, so be sure to pick up a lot of food.”

—

RUTHIE HUNG UP, wondering how she was going to handle this. Her daddy couldn’t have a cat. First of all, he was way too old. The thing was sure to outlive him, and then what? Second of all, it was a rule. He knew very well that Briarwood didn’t allow animals. And thirdly and most important, he could trip over the thing in the middle of the night and kill himself or…The phone rang again. It was her father again.

“Hey, Ruthie, get me a brush, too. He’s needs a good brushing, okay?”

“Daddy, listen.”

“Bye, honey.”

Oh God. Now what was she going to do? If she didn’t buy the things he wanted, the cat would probably make a mess in his room. And, knowing him, if she didn’t, he would just talk someone else into getting them. She guessed maybe the thing to do was to just humor him for a day or two and hope nobody finds out. If he was really a stray, the cat would probably run away the first chance it got.

But her main problem now was how she was going to get a kitty litter pan and a bag of kitty litter up to his room without anybody noticing.

Luckily, after a quick visit to PetSmart, she managed to slip in the side door at Briarwood carrying the two large shopping bags without being seen. She knocked on her father’s door, and the moment he opened it, she hurried inside.

Bud was so glad to see her. “Oh, thank you, honey. I sure appreciate it.”

She looked around. “Where’s the cat?”

“He’s in the bedroom napping. Wanna see him?”

She followed him and peeked inside and saw something that resembled a very large orange meatloaf lying on the bed.

“Good Lord, Daddy, that thing is the size of a mountain lion.”

“I know, isn’t he something? And he’s the best old cat, Ruthie. All you have to do is pet him and he purrs like a kitten.” Bud walked over and picked him up. “Here, hold him. He won’t bite you.”

“No, thank you.”

As soon as Bud filled the plastic pan with kitty litter, Virgil jumped right in. He scratched around like crazy and did his cat business while Bud filled his new food dish and put it on the floor.

After Virgil finished everything in his dish and was cleaning his whiskers, Bud smiled. “Isn’t he pretty, Ruthie?”

“Yes, he’s very pretty. Now, Daddy, we need to talk about this.”

They walked into the living room and sat down, and Virgil followed. He jumped up in Bud’s lap and looked straight at her.

Bud said, “See how sweet he is, Ruthie?”

“I can see he’s very sweet, Daddy, but he can’t stay here. And if you really think he’s a stray, I can take him over to the animal shelter in Buckhead and I’m sure they can find him a very nice home.”

“He already has a nice home, and he knows it…don’t you, boy?”

Virgil looked up at Bud and blinked at him with love in his eyes.

Ruthie could see that this cat was not going to run away anytime soon.

“Besides, I can’t give him away. Don’t you remember, Ruthie, when I still had my practice, people would call me and say, ‘Hey, Doc, this cat or this dog just showed up at my door and won’t go away, what should I do?’ And I’d say, ‘Well, let them in. They picked you. Animals are much smarter than we know, so you must need an animal friend, but just don’t know it.’ ”

“But, Daddy, this is a retirement home. They have rules.”

“Virgil doesn’t care. I figure he’s around twelve or so in cat years, as old as me. So he’s ready to retire. Anyway, we had a long talk last night, and he said, ‘Bud, old man, I think it’s time you and me find ourselves another place to live.’ ”

“And what did you say?”

“I said, ‘Well, Virgil, I have to agree with you. We could use a lot more room.’ So I’m going to put in for a two-bedroom on the ground floor. Cats love to look out the window.”