Cassandra Austin - Trusting Sarah

River sighed. “Once you decided to come west, I guess it isn’t that surprising that we’d meet. There are only about three major jumping-off points, and Leavenworth seems to be the most popular this season. Milburn’s is the largest and best-equipped train. Was,” he added almost under his breath.

They watched each other while an owl called its question to the night. Sarah shivered and finally spoke. “No one knows. I don’t want them to know.”

Daniel took a step closer. “Let’s do each other a favor. You stay the hell away from me, and I’ll keep my mouth shut. Will that satisfy you?”

Sarah nodded.

“Can you make it back to the wagons?”

“I think so,” she said, but made no move to go.

River sighed. “I’ll walk you partway.” He took her arm and led her back the way she had come. “Answer me one question,” he said. “Is the law after you?”

“Of course not!” She shouldn’t have been surprised by the question, considering what he thought of her.

“Of course not,” he mumbled.

At the sarcasm in his tone, she turned to him. “Daniel, let me explain.”

“Listen! You had a chance to explain in court,” he said, holding her at arm’s length. “My name is River, and I don’t know you. Can you remember that? You see, I’d just as soon these people didn’t know what a fool you made of me six years ago.”

Sarah slowly nodded. He walked with her until they were some fifty yards from the wagons, then his hand left her arm, and he slipped away.

* * *

The next morning in the wagon seat beside Rice, Sarah tried to pretend that this was the same as any other morning. It seemed, however, that everything had changed. Milburn was dead. Daniel was here. Somehow neither seemed quite real.

She tried to sort out her feelings about last night. She should be grateful for Daniel’s promise. River’s. She must remember to think of him as River. That had been a condition of his promise. She didn’t know him; he didn’t know her. If she called him River, her secret was safe.

Wasn’t his silence all she had wanted from him? He had promised that much, and she should be relieved. Why had she found herself crying when she returned to the wagon? Why had her mind been full of questions about him and his life these past years? She wished she had plied Rice with questions about his friend during that first week and a half of travel. Now she was afraid to ask.

At midmorning they came to the trail crossing and could see wagons coming from the southeast and more ahead of them. The wheels stirred up a fine dust, and Sarah, holding a small white handkerchief over her nose, wished for a large bandanna to tie about her face. For the first time she understood what the passengers in the rear wagons experienced.

Rice didn’t seem to be bothered. “Some places the dust is so bad you can’t hardly see the team, and where the soil’s white it’ll about take your skin off.”

There seemed to be wagons everywhere. It was as if with Daniel’s arrival, the rest of the world had taken the opportunity to intrude, as well. She thought she had accepted the fact years ago that what they had was over. She would never have guessed it would be so upsetting to see him again. Her feelings were a mixture of fear that he could ruin her new life, anger that he refused to listen and sorrow for what was lost. How was she going to live so close to Daniel and never call him by name. River, she told herself again. His name is River. I must think of Daniel as dead.

“It won’t always be this bad,” Rice said, startling her. She turned toward him and saw the concern in his face. “You can wet your handkerchief and wipe the dust out of your eyes. It’ll work better to breathe through when it’s wet, anyhow.”

“Thanks,” Sarah said, ashamed to discover she was crying again. She found the canteen they kept under the seat and poured a small amount onto the cloth.

“We’ll be stopping at the store soon,” Rice went on. “You gonna buy anything?”

“I don’t think so,” she answered.

“I want to get something pretty for the von Schiller girls, but I don’t know what. Besides, I don’t think their mama likes me at all, only I can’t understand what she says.”

Sarah smiled at the boy’s perplexed tone, glad for the distraction. “Maybe you should find something pretty for Mama, too,” she suggested.

Rice wrinkled his nose but fell silent, and she guessed he was thinking over her suggestion.

Suddenly he called a friendly greeting, and River reined in beside their wagon. Sarah tried not to look at him but found him impossible to ignore.

“We’ll make noon stop just past the Hollenberg Ranch so you and the others can go spend your money,” he said with a grin.

“It’s still there, then?”

“Looks like he’s had a good year. He’s added a stable that could hold a hundred horses, I reckon.” Rice laughed in disbelief, and River went on. “It’ll be a little later than the usual nooning, but it saves us stopping twice.” His only acknowledgment of Sarah was “Ma’am,” and a touch to his hat before riding away.

The sun was high enough for Rice to complain about hunger before they reached Cottonwood Creek. As they crossed, they could see the long low buildings of the Hollenberg Ranch a few hundred feet away. The stable was every bit as large as River had said, and Rice whistled in admiration. “Don’t you want to come in, Miss Sarah?” He craned his neck to see, and Sarah worried he wasn’t paying close enough attention to the team.

“I’ll look forward to your description, Rice,” she said.

When they stopped, Rice unhitched the oxen in record time. Eli was unpacking bread and last night’s venison when he hurried by. “Rice!” Eli called, stopping him in his tracks. “Eat!”

“Miss Sarah can save me something,” he said, backing away. “I’ll eat it on the road.” He turned and ran before Eli could argue.

“No-account fool boy,” Eli muttered, and Sarah felt her pulse quicken when she heard River laugh.

“I suppose I better see he stays out of trouble,” River said, reaching around Eli for a slice of bread.

“Well, who’ll keep ya out of trouble?” Eli tried to pull the meat away before River could grab a chunk with his fingers.

River’s arm was longer, and he soon balanced his prize on top of the bread. “You could come watch us both, Eli,” he said, grinning.

Eli grunted and shooed him away. Sarah watched as his long easy strides moved him quickly toward the store. She turned to get her own lunch to find Eli eyeing her. She wasn’t sure what he might have asked if Amy hadn’t interrupted.

“We’re gonna go to the store,” the child called, running ahead of her mother and brothers.

“That sounds like fun, Amy,” Sarah said, trying to pretend Eli wasn’t still watching her.

Martha joined them in a minute, holding one small boy by the hand while balancing the other on her hip. “We need to look for a couple things,” she said, a little breathlessly. “Would you like to come along?”

“How will you carry anything back with your arms full of boys?”

“Tom’ll be along,” Martha said, glancing over her shoulder.

“Let me watch the boys,” Sarah offered. “I hadn’t planned on going, anyway. You’ll stay with me, won’t you, Allen?” Sarah reached for the younger boy, who wailed and hid his face in his mother’s shoulder.

Martha laughed. “You come with us. He’ll go to you in a little bit. Or you can carry our things. Trust me, they won’t weigh as much as he does.”

Sarah ignored Eli’s grunt as they started away. Amy’s hand was soon in hers. “I think Lizabeth needs a new dress. You think they’ll have one here?”