Kathryn Alexander - Heart Of A Husband

Jake told Joanna.

“And passing is all it would be?”

Jake looked directly into her luminous eyes. “That’s all either of us has ever known.”

“But our friendship—”

“Is something I don’t want to lose, Jo. And we will,” he said, reaching out and caressing her cheek, “if we let this happen.”

His eyes, dark with anguish, mesmerized her. She raised a hand, her fingers covering his where they touched her face.

“I’m sorry, Jo.”

She took a deep breath of reality. This was the end of whatever she’d hoped for. It felt final. Painful, but final, and maybe that was good. Jake couldn’t make his heart feel something it just wouldn’t feel.

writes inspirational romance because, having been a Christian for many years, incorporating the element of faith in the Lord into a romantic story line seemed like a lovely and appropriate idea. After all, in a society where love for a lifetime is difficult to find, imagine discovering it, unexpectedly, as a gift sent from God.

Kathryn is married to Kelly, her own personal love of a lifetime. They have one son, John, who is the proud owner of the family’s two house pests, Herbie the cat and Copper the dog.

Kathryn and her family have been members of their church for nearly five years, where she co-teaches a Sunday school class of active two-year-olds. She is now a stay-at-home mom who writes between car pooling, baby-sitting and applying bandages, when necessary.

www.millsandboon.co.uk

The boundary lines have fallen for me

in pleasant places.

—Psalms 16:6a

This book is dedicated to Julie Stroup. Without her

precious friendship and unwavering encouragement,

I would not be a published writer today.

This is book number five! Thank you, Julie.

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Letter to Reader

“J oanna.”

She heard her name spoken quietly from somewhere behind her as she stood speaking with a nurse in the pale blues and greens of the hospital waiting room. Her breath caught in her throat momentarily. There was no need to turn around to see who had spoken; she remembered his voice clearly. It sounded exactly as it had two years ago, when he’d said goodbye. Closing her eyes for a brief moment, she wondered what she would say. Then she turned.

A well-cut suit, the color of charcoal, accentuated his tall, lean frame, and the faded remnant of a tan stood out in contrast to the crisp whiteness of his shirt. Looking up, Joanna’s velvet-brown eyes met cautious gray.

“Hello, Jake,” she managed to say. “It’s nice of you to come.” She extended a slender hand to him.

“It’s good to see you,” he answered in a voice low and achingly familiar. He clasped her hand in a necessary handshake. “How is Mae?”

“Not good,” Joanna responded. “Dr. Eden is with her now, but you can see her in a few minutes.”

“And you?”

“Fine. I’m fine,” she responded, a little too quickly, she realized.

“Are you?” came his immediate reply. The slate-gray depths of his eyes, genuinely sad, held her gaze easily. “You look tired.”

“I’m all right,” she replied. “Tired, but okay.”

“It’s been a long time,” Jake remarked.

“Yes,” she agreed. But had it been too long? Or not long enough? The ache in her heart made it difficult to think, difficult to do anything other than feel.

“I want to help, Jo. That’s why I’m here.”

Joanna nodded her head without speaking. Dr. Jake Barnes’s help was exactly what she didn’t want. For him to show up now—kind and caring—was what she had feared. Comfort from Jake now would be more than she could endure. The memories she had spent long months pushing to the back of her mind stirred again in her thoughts. All of the forgetting could too easily be undone.

Joanna glanced toward the nearby hospital room to see Dr. Natalie Eden, Mae’s family physician, walking toward them where they stood in the lobby.

“Natalie, how are you?” Jake spoke directly to the attractive physician who smiled broadly when she saw him.

“Jake! I wasn’t sure you’d come. It’s wonderful to see you,” Dr. Eden said just as Joanna stepped away, excusing herself from the scene to return to her aunt’s bedside. A warm, welcoming embrace between these two people was more than she could handle at the moment. Dr. Jake Barnes and Dr. Natalie Eden. There had been a brief time, years ago, when they’d seemed the perfect couple in everyone’s eyes. Including Joanna’s. Until her own heart had found reason to think otherwise.

“‘To be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord,’” was the scripture her aunt whispered in a weak voice as Joanna entered the room. Those were the first words Mae had spoken all day.

“Yes,” Joanna agreed. “I know that’s always been one of your favorite verses.” She sank into a chair close to the bed and reached for the elderly woman’s hand. “But I’d rather keep you here with me. I’m not ready to let you go,” she added as she saw her aunt’s eyes fluttering shut again.

“Jake is here?” Mae asked in wispy words.

“Yes, he’s here,” Joanna answered.

Mae gave a small smile. “He said he’d come. He’ll take care of everything. He’ll take care of you, Joanna.”

“I don’t need taking care of,” Joanna said with a soft moan of protest. She tucked some of her ash-blond hair behind an ear. “I’m all grown-up, Aunt Mae. I can take care of myself.”

But her aunt had already drifted back to sleep, just as she had done off and on for the past few days. Joanna studied the dull gold wedding band on her aunt’s finger. What would it be like, she wondered, to love a man the way Mae had loved her husband? To remain true to him, committed to him even many years after his death? A love of that depth was rare, Joanna knew, but she believed it was as possible as it was rare.

Giving a soft sigh, she placed Mae’s cool, frail hand against her own cheek. So, Jake had decided to come back to say goodbye to Mae. That shouldn’t have surprised her, she knew. Aunt Mae had been like a mother to them both, each in different ways. Jake would want to be here. As a doctor, a friend, the son Mae wanted but never had. Jake would be what Mae needed. He was good at that. And Joanna would have to pretend she didn’t need him, too.

“Lord, don’t take her away from me yet. I’m not ready for that,” she breathed the heartfelt prayer.

It seemed a long time ago, but it had been only four years earlier—just as Joanna was starting college—that she had accepted Mae’s invitation to live with her in South Carolina. She had arrived at her aunt’s house with suitcases in hand and much hope in her heart. Joanna had been grateful for Mae’s offer after years of growing up in an adoptive home where she felt very much an outsider. Mae was the only biological link Joanna Meccord had to the past after losing her parents in a plane crash as a child. Early one spring afternoon, a cabdriver had left Joanna at the specified address, Mae’s house. And Jake was there, even that first day. Living in Charleston then, he worked at a clinic not far from Mae’s home, and had just finished having lunch with Mae when Joanna rang the doorbell. Joanna smiled as she recalled the latch on one of the suitcases Jake carried in for her breaking as he placed it next to the hallway closet. They had knelt together on the carpeting, gathering up books and belongings that had tumbled from the luggage while Joanna silently thanked the Lord that it had been this bag that had broken. Not the one holding more personal items. The breaking of the old, battered bag was inevitable, Joanna had explained quickly, and it was not worth repairing as Jake offered to have done. She remembered his smile. A half smile, not particularly disarming enough to set her heart to hammering, but it had been nice. The smile of a friend.