Kathryn Ross - A Marriage On Paper

‘The best.’ She took a deep breath. ‘Pity we couldn’t have fallen in love.’

He stared at her as if she had said something deeply profound.

‘Look, I think you had better go,’ she said with quiet dignity. She felt that she needed to be on her own now. Console herself, try and and think positively. ‘I’m tired, and—’

‘Alicia, I don’t want our relationship to end.’

‘Dex, you’re the father of my baby. But as for anything else—’

‘Marry me,’ he said suddenly.

She stared at him, taken aback, wondering if maybe she had misheard.

He went across and took hold of her by the arms, staring down into her face with earnest eyes. ‘I think if I let you walk away from me now, take my child out of my life, it will be something I will always regret.’

‘Dex, you don’t want to get married…we’ve been through this. We’ve decided that nobody gets married for the sake of a baby any more—’

‘I’ve changed my mind.’ He grinned. ‘It’s not solely the prerogative of a woman, you know.’

‘Dex, you’re acting crazy.’

He shook his head. ‘No…I’ve just realised how much I want this baby. I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. I want to give him or her a solid home-life, security, love.’

‘Very commendable.’ Her voice shook with anger. How dared he talk with such lavish emotion about their baby and yet propose so coldly to her? ‘But I can manage to give my child all the love and security it needs, thank you.’ She didn’t want Dex’s proposal. She’d rather be on her own than stuck in a loveless marriage.

‘Are you turning me down?’ He looked stunned.

If this hadn’t been so serious it would have been amusing, she thought. Dex was so supremely confident that it had probably never occurred to him that any woman could turn down his proposal of marriage.

‘Yes, I’m turning you down.’ She stepped away from him, her head high, her eyes flashing fire. ‘I told you I don’t want to get married.’

‘You weren’t really serious about leaving here… You can’t, not now you’re pregnant. You need me.’

‘No, I don’t,’ she snapped positively. She was in love with him, she wanted him, but she wouldn’t lower herself to accept him on these terms.

‘Don’t be ridiculous. You can’t manage on your own.’

‘Dex, we’re talking about the rest of our lives. That’s not something that should be decided on a whim. Now I think you should go.’ She needed to get him out of her apartment fast, while she still had her anger and her pride to hold on to.

He followed her towards the front door. ‘OK,’ he agreed with her solemnly. ‘It’s not something that can be decided rashly.’

‘Exactly, and a loveless marriage would just make all of us unhappy.’

She was aware that he was standing very close behind her. As she started to open the door he stretched across her and closed it again.

‘But love could grow.’ He whispered the words softly, his mouth against her hair, tickling her ear. She could feel the warmth of his body, smell his cologne. ‘It isn’t something that has to happen instantly, with a crash of cymbals and a choir singing Hallelujah.’

Her anger dissolved as quickly as it had erupted. Dex was a realist, a pragmatic businessman. He would think she was the most foolish woman in the world if she were to tell him that her love for him had been instant. From the first moment she had looked into his eyes she had known deep down that this was the man she wanted.

‘And to be honest, Alicia, I don’t think couples who rush into marriage with love shining a blinding light in their eyes are exactly thinking straight either.’ Dex shrugged. ‘When the lamplight dims and the magic starts to wane, the survival of any marriage depends on the couple’s ability to work at things. Suddenly it boils down to little things, like how much you’ve really got in common.’

‘And how much have we got in common?’ Alicia asked him with a wry smile.

‘A lot. Don’t you see, Alicia? We’re good friends; that has to be the most solid foundation of all to build a marriage on.’

‘Next you’ll be making a computer program of it,’ she murmured, a tinge of sarcasm in her voice. ‘I can see it now: ‘PLAN YOUR COMPATIBILITY BY COMPUTER or HOW TO SURVIVE MARRIAGE USING THE PRAGMATIC PC.’

Dex didn’t say anything for a moment. Then he grinned. ‘You know, that might be a good idea—’

‘Dex, I was joking,’ she cut across him impatiently.

‘I know you were joking, but it wasn’t a bad idea.’

‘Except that a computer can’t analyse feelings—’

‘Or sexual compatibility.’ Dex reached to take her hand and turned her to face him. ‘I’ll have to do some further research into it.’ He studied her silently for a few minutes.

Her lips were soft and inviting, her eyes misty with uncertainty. For all her bravado she was scared; he knew that. He bent his head and gently kissed her.

Her lips were sweet and trembling for a moment, then his kiss deepened.

She clung to him, responding hungrily to his touch. Maybe he was right. Marriage was a good solution.

He released her then, and smiled down at her. ‘We’ve certainly got the latter in abundance.’

‘The latter?’ She couldn’t think straight now.

‘Sexual compatibility.’ He grinned as her cheeks flushed a bright red.

She pulled away from him, her heart pounding. ‘But that isn’t enough to sustain a marriage, Dex, and you know it.’ Her voice was unsteady.

‘It’s a good start.’ He was unrepentant.

‘You can’t plan a marriage like a business campaign. Any relationship, whether it be living together or marriage, needs love to sustain it.’

He noted the shimmer of tears in her eyes now. ‘Oh, sweetheart, don’t look at me like that. It breaks my heart,’ he said softly. ‘I care about you so much…more than any woman in a long, long time.’

‘And I care about you.’ She lowered her eyes away from him. ‘But it’s not enough, is it?’

‘Look, we’re both tired; we need to sleep on things.’ His voice was infinitely gentle. ‘Let’s discuss this over dinner tomorrow night. I’ll book a table at Romanio’s.’

‘I don’t know.’ His closeness confused her. ‘I think we’ve said all there is to say.’

‘Now you know that isn’t true.’ He traced a finger over the trembling softness of her lips. ‘Come on, Alli. I’m just asking you to have dinner with me…please.’ His voice was low and huskily inviting. It sent her blood surging through her veins in a way that sizzled.

She nodded. Tomorrow night would be good. Vicky usually went straight to her friend’s house on a Friday night. Sometimes she slept over. It would give them time and space to sort something out.

‘Thank you.’ He bent and kissed her briefly on the lips.

‘You won’t say anything to anyone, will you, Dex?’ she asked him suddenly. ‘I mean about the baby. I’d rather wait until further into the pregnancy.’

‘That’s fine by me.’ Dex smiled at her. ‘See you in the morning.’

ALICIA was dealing with an irate phone call from a company who wanted to buy Dex’s new computer game. She was being polite and firm, telling them they were launching the product themselves.

At the same time she was filling in a form and running off a letter on the computer.

Dex came out of his office with Maddie McDowell at his side. He smiled at Alicia. ‘Fielding nicely,’ he murmured as he heard her tell the company that they would keep them in mind for next time.

Alicia put the phone down and grinned. ‘Got to keep everyone happy.’

‘You could get a gold medal for that,’ Dex said, a slightly husky note creeping into the words.