Doris Lessing - Play With a Tiger and Other Plays

FIRST LOW-LEVELLER: Officer First Class, Second Subsidiary Grade.

SECOND LOW-LEVELLER: Officer First Class, Second Subsidiary Grade.

FIRST LOW-LEVELLER: Elected officers.

CHAIRMAN: Impossible.

SECRETARY: Sir, there was that revolution last month in the Intermediate City.

CHAIRMAN [ affable ]: Ah, so you are the leaders of the successful coup in the Intermediate City?

FIRST LOW-LEVELLER: You can put it like that if you can’t, understand it any other way.

[ From the left comes a muffled shout. ]

We have no leaders!

[ Some more LOW-LEVELLERS come into view, trying to force their way past the ATTENDANTS. FIRST and SECOND LOW-LEVELLERS turn so that they are able simultaneously to keep the DELEGATES controlled with their hand-grenades, and watch the entrance left. THIRD and FOURTH LOW-LEVELLERS burst in, with rifles. They are wearing a lot of leather, and have short hair. ]

THIRD LOW-LEVELLER: It is no use trying to keep us out.

CHAIRMAN: Very well, I suppose there is nothing for it. I declare the conference reopened, for discussion on Item 99. Will you please all be seated?

FOURTH LOW-LEVELLER: A committee! Would you believe it!

FIRST LOW-LEVELLER: We might have known it.

SECOND LOW-LEVELLER: I’m not wasting my time talking.

THIRD LOW-LEVELLER: I’ll give you exactly three minutes.

FOURTH LOW-LEVELLER: And don’t imagine we wouldn’t use them.

CHAIRMAN: You don’t want to discuss Item 99?

FIRST LOW-LEVELLER: We don’t want to discuss anything.

GUARDIAN: What do you want then?

SECOND LOW-LEVELLER: To have full representation in the celebrations tomorrow.

THIRD LOW-LEVELLER: The Ceremony of the Garlanding of the Door.

CHAIRMAN: I’d almost forgotten about that. We have a rehearsal in a few minutes, haven’t we?

GUARDIAN: Do you mind repeating that? You have forced your way in here because you want representation for Level 56 in the Garlanding Ceremony?

THIRD LOW-LEVELLER: Not only 56. All the levels beyond that too.

CHAIRMAN: But it’s not physically possible to have representatives from all the hundred levels. That was why it was arranged by the First Ones that the levels from 1 to 50 should represent 50 to 100.

GUARDIAN: But after all, we haven’t been faced with fifty extra people, only four.

FOURTH LOW-LEVELLER: It was never anything but a disgustingly unfair arrangement.

CHAIRMAN: Yet I see that you and your friend are happy to represent all the levels beyond 56. Isn’t that so?

FIFTH PRECEPT: Exalted Chairman, may I remind you that we are placed here because you decided that we were part of this – demand?

A DELEGATE: Conspiracy!

ANOTHER DELEGATE: Undemocratic and violent overthrow of Constitutional Government!

CHAIRMAN: Well well, I don’t know. Perhaps we of the upper levels have got a bit stuffy. I see no reason at all why Level 56 shouldn’t be represented at the ceremony. And they may start by joining us in the rehearsal.

FIFTH PRECEPT: Just a minute. We were arrested because you believed us to be party to this demand, or conspiracy.

CHAIRMAN: You haven’t been arrested.

FIFTH PRECEPT: Thank you.

[ He and the other three attempt to leave the group of DOCTOR and MEDICAL ATTENDANTS, but they are forcibly restrained. ]

FOURTH PRECEPT: We are being wrongfully held. On two counts. One, we knew nothing about this conspiracy. Two, it is now apparently not considered a conspiracy.

CHAIRMAN: Precept Doctor, we have not yet had your report.

FOURTH PRECEPT: There is no need of any report. We are all perfectly well.

DOCTOR: Of course this is only a provisional diagnosis, but in my opinion these patients are not fit to leave medical care.

FIFTH PRECEPT: We aren’t patients.

DOCTOR: There. Come now. Relax. Take these pills. You are getting over-excited.

[ The two PRECEPTS, then the other two refuse the pills, as the DOCTOR threatens force. ]

FIRST LOW-LEVELLER: What’s wrong with them? Who are they?

CHAIRMAN: You mean you don’t even know your champions? Those are the famous Fighting Precepts.

FIRST LOW-LEVELLER: Champions!

SECOND LOW-LEVELLER: I think I’ve seen their pictures.

THIRD LOW-LEVELLER: Liberals!

FOURTH LOW-LEVELLER: Vacillating temporizers!

FIRST LOW-LEVELLER: Compromising timeservers!

CHAIRMAN: Well, well. And these are the people you have been fighting for.

FIRST LOW-LEVELLER: But what’s wrong with them?

FIFTH PRECEPT: We are under medical care because we insist on discussing Item 99. Tonight.

SECOND LOW-LEVELLER: Never heard of it.

FIFTH PRECEPT: The Door is going to open. It is going to open.

THIRD LOW-LEVELLER: Oh I see, they’re nuts.

GUARDIAN: I do so hope that you young people are not unbelievers. For while I deprecate the emotional extravagance and wrongheadedness of officers like the Fourth and Fifth Precepts, I find it in my heart to prefer that to total nullity.

FIFTH PRECEPT: But it is going to open.

FIRST LOW-LEVELLER: Well, of course it is. Who said it wasn’t?

SECOND LOW-LEVELLER: We’ve all been taught that in school.

THIRD LOW-LEVELLER: Whether we liked it or not.

FOURTH LOW-LEVELLER: I didn’t mind the Door lessons. I love those old myths.

GUARDIAN: Myths, indeed! Then why do you want to take part in the Door Ceremony?

FOURTH LOW-LEVELLER: It is a question of political equity.

FIRST LOW-LEVELLER: Justice.

SECOND LOW-LEVELLER: Liberty.

THIRD LOW-LEVELLER: Freedom.

FIFTH PRECEPT: But it will open. The Door will open. [ shouting ] Let me go. I must be free to tell everybody. I must …

[ The MEDICAL ATTENDANTS grab him. The DOCTOR deftly injects him, an ATTENDANT crams pills into his mouth. He passes out, and is laid on the stretcher. The DOCTOR tries to inject the FOURTH PRECEPT, who mimes submission, contrition, humility. As this is seen to work, the DOCTOR becoming avuncular and bland, the other two copy the FOURTH PRECEPT. Meanwhile FOURTH PRECEPT goes forward a little way to examine the big Door. He is joined by the two who have now mollified the DOCTOR. Do we imagine it, or is this Door brighter than it was? ]

THIRD LOW-LEVELLER: There have been a lot of pretty funny rumours down in the Levels recently.

CHAIRMAN: I would hardly describe a revolution as a rumour.

FIRST LOW-LEVELLER: No, about the Door. Rumours about the Door.

SECOND LOW-LEVELLER: More than rumours. There’s a new sect.

THIRD LOW-LEVELLER: The main one calls itself ‘The Door Will Open Soon’ Society.

GUARDIAN: Indeed?

SECOND LOW-LEVELLER: There’s been some rioting.

GUARDIAN: Very true. I had them arrested and imprisoned.

THIRD LOW-LEVELLER: I heard some escaped. We thought they might be here.

[FIRST and SECOND LOW-LEVELLERS look suspiciously at THIRD and FOURTH LOW-LEVELLERS, while moving closer together. THIRD and FOURTH do the same. At the same moment, the two couples aim their grenades and their rifles at each other. ]

CHAIRMAN: Now, now. There’s no need for that.

[ A fresh commotion outside left exit. ATTENDANT comes running over. ]

ATTENDANT: Second Hereditary Attendant of the Gate to the …

CHAIRMAN: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

ATTENDANT: There’s another lot.

CHAIRMAN: Then let them in, by all means.

[ This time there is a group of varying ages, and variously dressed. They are unarmed, and they walk quietly. ]