Doris Lessing - Play With a Tiger and Other Plays

FIFTH PRECEPT: Quite well, thank you. [ he stands up ] Exalted Chairman! Guardian of the Door! Fellow Precepts! Delegates! Secretaries! … and so on and so on and so on. If you actually take the trouble to look at the wording of the last item, Item 99 [ Some members hurriedly do so. ], You’ll see that it reads: ‘In view of the urgency, it is decided that full mobilization is called at once. The Door is expected to open at hour zero.’ Very shortly, in fact. [ There is general discreet amusement. ] A great many people are expecting it.

CHAIRMAN: You know quite well that some nut is always announcing the Opening of that Door.

SECRETARY: Which is why we have Item 99 permanently on the Agenda, to take care of it.

FIFTH PRECEPT: Yet we all believe that the Door will open some time. And that when it does we can leave this place.

DELEGATE: Of course we do.

DELEGATE: Of course.

CHAIRMAN: If there had been any indication from Centre [ he indicates the machines and their worshippers ] we would have been told.

FIFTH PRECEPT: Our life in this place is entirely organized around our expectation of this Opening. If we didn’t believe that we would one day escape, that our people would one day reach the open air and the light-of-day …

DELEGATE: Whatever they may be!

FIFTH PRECEPT: … the light-of-day, it would not be possible to sustain life here.

DELEGATE: Hear, hear.

SECRETARY: Article 17 of our Declaration of Faith. Very fine, but is a conference the right place for this sort of thing?

GUARDIAN: As First Guardian of the Door I must protest against the tone of our Secretary.

SECRETARY: Sorry, Guardian. [ as GUARDIAN does not relent, he recites ] I offer my thoughts, being and intentions in total apology for blasphemy. Unintentional blasphemy atonable for by simple-form apology.

GUARDIAN: Simple-form apology accepted with warning.

CHAIRMAN: Can we get on? I adjourn the conference until tomorrow.

FIFTH PRECEPT: I object.

CHAIRMAN: Overruled.

FIFTH PRECEPT: According to. Rule 954 I have the right to insist.

CHAIRMAN: Wait a minute. [ he and SECRETARY consult the rules ] I see. Very well then – you’re ill. You must be. I’ve never been more upset to see a colleague of mine fall under the weight of duty. You’d better take leave. From this evening.

FOURTH PRECEPT: And must I join him?

CHAIRMAN: Oh no, it’s too much … when two of this, the highest body of our people, fall victim to … yes, both of you, take a month’s leave.

A DELEGATE WHO HAS NOT YET SPOKEN: And me too?

[FOURTH AND FIFTH PRECEPTS look at him in surprise, then at each other. ]

ANOTHER DELEGATE: And me?

[FOURTH AND FIFTH PRECEPTS and the last speaker are surprised. ]

CHAIRMAN: Four of you. I see. I don’t know why I didn’t see it before – this is obviously yet another attempt from the Low-Levellers to take over. Obviously.

[FOURTH AND FIFTH PRECEPTS and their two supporters laugh. ]

FIFTH PRECEPT: As soon as the Low-Levellers come into it, that’s the end of all reason.

CHAIRMAN: We all know that you represent the Low-Levellers, that you work for their interests, that you improve their conditions – and of course, we all honour you for it.

FIFTH PRECEPT: Really? I hadn’t noticed it.

CHAIRMAN: Of course, without reformers there’s no progress. But. The Low-Levellers always overstep the mark sooner or later. We know that too, and expect it.

FOURTH PRECEPT: And make provision for it by putting under the last item of every agenda their requests, reasonable or otherwise, about the Door.

CHAIRMAN: I am glad you can admit they are sometimes unreasonable.

FIFTH PRECEPT: I and Fourth Precept assure you that this has nothing to do with the Low-Levellers.

THE TWO DELEGATES WHO SUPPORT THEM: Nothing. Nothing at all.

A DELEGATE: May we then ask who inspired your conviction that the Door is about to open?

FIFTH PRECEPT: For one thing, look at it.

[ They turn to look at the door in the middle of the stack of machinery. ]

CHAIRMAN: Well?

A DELEGATE: It has never changed since I first saw it.

ANOTHER: My father served on this committee and he said it never altered in his lifetime.

FIFTH PRECEPT: Not that Door. The other one.

A DELEGATE: What Door?

ANOTHER: What other Door?

CHAIRMAN: As you two are new on this committee, you may not know that certain deviant and of course unimportant sects have always maintained that the real Door is that one. [ He nods at the Door, right. The GUARDIAN coughs. ] I apologize.

GUARDIAN: It is not your fault these heresies continue.

DELEGATE: Funny, I never even noticed it.

GUARDIAN: Which is not surprising.

FOURTH PRECEPT: It is easily overlooked.

FIFTH PRECEPT: Until you have seen it – but then some people find it hard to look at anything else.

ONE WHO STARES AT THE ALTAR: Why, it isn’t even attached to anything. It doesn’t lead anywhere.

ANOTHER: It isn’t anything at all.

GUARDIAN [ on his feet and obviously about to launch into an oration ]: My children, in this unfortunate time, let us all take heart and …

CHAIRMAN: Quite so, oh quite so, Guardian, but perhaps I should deal with this? [GUARDIAN seats himself again ] Secretary, have you file Number 7? [SECRETARY hands over file 7] Last week, our investigators found evidence of a new subversive cult and …

FIFTH PRECEPT: You mean, our spies.

CHAIRMAN: If you like. But there is unrest. Serious unrest.

[ There is noise beyond the left opening. One of the ATTENDANTS comes running to the conference table. ]

ATTENDANT: Some of them insist on coming in.

CHAIRMAN: You have forgotten something, I think?

ATTENDANT: Second Hereditary Attendant to the Gate to the First Level. Some of them insist on coming in.

CHAIRMAN: They can wait until tomorrow.

[ A second ATTENDANT runs over. ]

THIS ATTENDANT: First Hereditary Attendant. They’ve got hand-grenades.

CHAIRMAN: I knew it. [ to a GUARD] Arrest the Fourth and Fifth Precepts.

FIFTH PRECEPT: You haven’t the authority.

CHAIRMAN: Haven’t I!

SECRETARY: Precepts cannot be arrested without a week’s full notice and then only after having posted …

CHAIRMAN: Oh never mind. Doctor – Precept Doctor?

[DOCTOR stands up. ]

FIFTH PRECEPT: There’s no appeal against that.

CHAIRMAN: No.

[ The DOCTOR takes FOURTH and FIFTH PRECEPTS over to right. He claps his hands. Two white-overalled MEDICAL ASSISTANTS come running from left with a rolled stretcher, bottles of pills, a syringe. All the DELEGATES are watching these arrangements. The two who supported FOURTH and FIFTH PRECEPTS rise and go over and join them. ]

SECRETARY: Heroic!

CHAIRMAN: But futile.

FIRST HEREDITARY ATTENDANT: Exalted Chairman, they give us five minutes. They have the pins out of their grenades.

CHAIRMAN: We bow to force. Let them in.

[ Two LOW-LEVELLERS come in. They are dressed in sweaters and jeans, have long hair, carry grenades. ]

CHAIRMAN: Who are you?

FIRST LOW-LEVELLER: That doesn’t matter.

CHAIRMAN: We must know with whom we are dealing.

SECOND LOW-LEVELLER: We are from Level 56.

[ Munnurs of shock and surprise from the DELEGATES.]

FIRST LOW-LEVELLER: Yes, this is the first time any one of you have set eyes on Level 56-ers, isn’t it?

CHAIRMAN: Your status?

SECOND LOW-LEVELLER: Oh tell them, if it keeps them happy.