B Paris - The Breakdown - The gripping thriller from the bestselling author of Behind Closed Doors

‘Maybe you didn’t close it properly and it came open,’ he says. ‘Maybe that was the noise you heard.’

‘You’re probably right,’ I say, relieved. ‘Come on, let’s have that drink.’

*

Later, after dinner, we carry the rest of the bottle of wine through to the sitting room to finish in front of a film. It’s hard to find one we haven’t already seen.

‘What about Juno ?’ he asks as we flick through the list. ‘Do you know what it’s about?’

‘A teenager who finds herself pregnant and looks for the perfect couple to adopt her baby. I don’t really think it’s for you.’

‘Oh, I don’t know.’ He takes the remote from me and puts it to one side. ‘We haven’t talked about having a baby for a while now,’ he says, gathering me in his arms. ‘You do still want to, don’t you?’

I lay my head on his shoulder, loving how safe he makes me feel. ‘Yes, of course.’

‘Then perhaps we should start putting the wheels in motion. It can be quite a long process, apparently.’

‘We said when we’d been married a year,’ I say and, despite my joy, I realise that I’m stalling, because how can I think about having a child when, before it’s even a teenager, I could be diagnosed with dementia, like Mum? I know I’m probably worrying about nothing but to ignore the problems I’ve been having with my memory would be stupid.

‘It’s lucky it’s our anniversary soon, then,’ he says softly. ‘Why don’t we watch an action film instead?’

‘All right. Let’s have a look at what there is.’

We watch a film until it’s time for the news. As always, Jane’s murder features prominently and I only carry on watching because I’m desperate to know if they’re any nearer to catching her killer. But they’ve made little progress. Then a police officer comes on:

‘ If you, or anyone you know, were in the vicinity of Blackwater Lane last Friday night, or in the early hours of Saturday morning, and saw Jane Walter’s car, a dark red Renault Clio, parked or otherwise, please call the following number. ’

He seems to be looking directly at me as he speaks, and when he adds that people can call the number anonymously, I realise it’s the answer to my dilemma.

The news finishes and Matthew, ready for bed, tries to pull me to my feet.

‘You go ahead, there’s something I want to watch on another channel,’ I say, reaching for the remote.

‘OK,’ he says cheerfully, ‘I’ll see you later.’

I wait until he’s upstairs, then rewind the news until I find the number and jot it down on a piece of paper. I don’t want the police to be able to trace the call back to me so I’ll have to use a payphone, which means I won’t be able to phone until Monday, when Matthew’s back at work. And once I have, hopefully some of my guilt will disappear.

SUNDAY, JULY 26TH

The house phone rings while Matthew is in the kitchen, making breakfast to bring back to bed.

‘Can you get it?’ I call from the bedroom, shifting further down under the covers. ‘If it’s for me, tell whoever it is that I’ll call them back!’

A moment later, I hear him asking Andy how he is, so I guess bumping into Hannah has prompted his call. Remembering how I had suddenly run off to meet Rachel, I can’t help feeling a little guilty.

‘Let me guess – Andy wants you to play tennis this morning,’ I say when Matthew comes back upstairs.

‘No, he wanted to know what time we’re expecting them.’ He looks quizzically at me. ‘I didn’t realise you’d invited them today.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Just that you didn’t mention it was today they were coming for a barbecue.’

‘It isn’t.’ Sitting up, I take one of the pillows from his side of the bed and put it behind my back. ‘I said they must come round but I didn’t say when.’

‘Well, Andy seems to think it’s today.’

I smile. ‘He’s having a joke with you.’

‘No, he was deadly serious.’ He pauses. ‘Are you sure you didn’t invite them today?’

‘Of course I am!’

‘It’s just that you did the garden yesterday.’

‘What’s that got to do with it?’

‘Just that Andy asked me if you’d managed to get the place tidied up. Apparently, you told Hannah that if they came for a barbecue, it would be a good excuse to get the garden into shape.’

‘Then why didn’t they know the time? If I’d arranged something with Hannah, I would have said the time. She’s got it wrong, not me.’

Matthew gently shakes his head. The movement is so subtle, I nearly miss it. ‘I managed to hide the fact that I didn’t have a clue what he was talking about and said twelve-thirty.’

I look at him, appalled. ‘What, so they’re all coming? The children too?’

‘I’m afraid so.’

‘But I didn’t invite them! Could you phone Andy back and tell him there’s been a mistake?’

‘I could, I suppose.’ Another pause. ‘As long as you’re sure you didn’t tell them to come today.’

I stare at him, trying not to let him see how unsure I suddenly feel. Even though I can’t actually remember inviting Hannah and Andy today, what I do remember is Hannah saying, just as we parted, something about Andy looking forward to seeing Matthew. My heart sinks.

‘Look, don’t worry,’ Matthew says, watching me. ‘It’s no big deal. I can always pop out and buy a few steaks to throw on the barbecue. And some sausages for the children.’

‘We’ll need to make a couple of salads as well,’ I say, feeling near to tears because I really don’t feel up to having them round, not with my mind full of Jane. ‘And what about dessert?’

‘I’ll buy some ice cream from the farm shop when I go for the meat. And Andy said that Hannah’s bringing a birthday cake – apparently, it’s his birthday tomorrow – so there’ll be plenty.’

‘What time is it now?’

‘Just gone ten. Why don’t you have your shower while I make some breakfast? We won’t be able to have it in bed though.’

‘It doesn’t matter,’ I say, trying to hide how depressed I feel.

‘And then I’ll do the shopping while you make the salads.’

‘Thank you,’ I mumble gratefully. ‘I’m sorry.’

His arms come around me. ‘Hey, you’ve got nothing to apologise for. I know how tired you are at the moment.’

I’m glad to be able to hide behind the excuse but how long is it going to be before he says something to me, because coming on top of having forgotten he was going away on Monday, this fiasco over the barbecue is one thing too many. I go through to the bathroom, trying to ignore the voice in my head: You’re going mad, you’re going mad, you’re going mad. It would be so much easier to pretend that Hannah, wanting to come round for a barbecue, had decided to manipulate an invitation. But that’s not something she’d ever do and I’d be mad to even think it. Anyway, what about my obsession to get the garden looking perfect? I’d been so sure that it was just a way of distracting myself, of keeping myself busy but, maybe, somewhere in my brain, I knew that I’d invited them.

Thinking back, I can guess what happened. I’d been so distracted by the talk of Jane, I’d only been half listening to what Hannah was saying by the end of our chat. Maybe it was then, during those lost minutes, that I’d invited Hannah and Andy to come today.

It used to happen to Mum all the time. She’d be there, nodding away at things I was saying, offering her opinion, even making suggestions, but a few minutes later she couldn’t remember anything that we’d said at all. ‘I must have been away with the fairies’, she’d say. ‘Periodic amnesia’ the nurse who came to check on her called it. Was that where I’d been, away with the fairies? For the first time in my life, fairies seem like evil creatures.