James Fell - The Holy Sh*t Moment - How lasting change can happen in an instant

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Thorsons

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First published in the US by by St. Martin’s Press 2019

This UK edition published by Thorsons 2019

© James Fell 2019

Cover layout design by Micaela Alcaino © HarperCollins Publishers Ltd 2019

James Fell asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work

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Source ISBN: 9780008288686

Ebook Edition © November 2018 ISBN: 9780008288693

Version 2018-12-07

DEDICATION

Hi, Mom

CONTENTS

Cover

Title Page

Copyright

Dedication

Preface

Introduction: The Librarian Who Put Down the Cigarettes and Picked Up a Sword

PART ONE: EPIPHANY AND COGNITIVE BEHAVIOR CHANGE

1The Antidote to Despair: The Euphoria of the Life-Changing Moment

2Embracing Chaos: Quantum vs. Linear Behavior Change in the Role of Epiphany

3You, Part 2: Finding Purpose via Epiphany

PART TWO: EPIPHANY AND THE EMOTIONAL SELF

4What’s Going On in There?: The Brain Science of the Holy Shit Moment

5The Rock-Bottom Hypothesis: The Power of Epiphany to Battle Addiction

6The Hand of God: Exploring Religious Epiphany

7The Power of Love: How Passion for Life and Love Inspires Sudden Change

PART THREE: HACKING EPIPHANY

8Dreamers Aren’t Doers: Making Positive Fantasies Work for You Instead of Against You

9Nudging Toward the Leap: Battling the Status Quo and Preparing Your Mind for Epiphany

10Shamans, Drugs, and Rock and Roll: External Assistance in the Reevaluation of Reality

Conclusion: The Love We Found

Acknowledgments

Notes

Resources

Index

About the Publisher

PREFACE

Psychology is not an exact science.

It is a field that Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory would deride for its lack of mathematical verifiability, and he’d be right. After all, when Sigmund Freud was pulling stuff out of a lower orifice to describe the “anal stage” of psychosexual development, Albert Einstein was creating theories of the universe that remain valid to this day.

Humanity’s understanding of physics allows humans to build rockets that only sometimes explode. Our understanding of psychology allows us to … uh … wait.

It’s not as bad as I allude to, but it is a discipline in flux. Homo sapiens’ neurological processing unit is complex and beyond our current understanding of mathematical formulae to neatly explain.

When I first approached the life-changing epiphany as an idea for a book, I expected it would be a water-cooler “Hey, check out this interesting information” variety of tome. Like a Malcolm Gladwell book, but with swearing and the occasional mention of poop.

I never imagined it could be a “how-to.”

But the more I researched, the more realistic the idea became. I gathered studies and spoke to smart people. I tried it on myself and my clients. I wrote articles and received enlightening responses.

There are no guarantees in life, but there is often good advice based on data and experience. We may not know all regarding the complexities of the mind, but human motivation has been studied for millennia. We do understand some interesting things, and through trial and error, people have transformed their lives for the better using myriad methods for change.

It turns out, the hare can kick the tortoise’s ass when properly inspired.

Sometimes the slow-and-steady approach doesn’t take you nowhere fast, it takes you nowhere at all. Conversely, the rascally rabbit has the finish line in its sights and is dashing toward it, invigorated, undeterred, unstoppable.

Finding true meaning, uncovering your real self, revealing your life’s purpose—such things rarely happen via baby steps. These are transformations unleashed, suddenly, to great effect. Often, there is a “Holy shit!” thrown in to celebrate the momentous realization. The epiphany drives you forward, passionately pursuing the newfound aim. And great thinkers across the ages have interesting ideas about how to make such an experience happen.

Read on, and perhaps it will happen for you.

Introduction

THE LIBRARIAN WHO PUT DOWN THE CIGARETTES AND PICKED UP A SWORD

One cannot leap a chasm in two jumps.

—SIR WINSTON CHURCHILL

Isaw Jaws when I was seven.

Children were free-range in the 1970s. Parents did their own weird thing that decade, so my sister and I got dumped at the local theater with regularity. It was a small town with one screen. In the summer of ’75, it was a movie about a megatoothed murder fish or nothing.

I wish I’d sat outside and watched dandelions push through the pavement. To this day, I can’t snorkel without hearing the music.

Despite living in the middle of a forest, after seeing the film I had nightmares that a great white was out to get me. A year later, the low-budget land-based knockoff, Grizzly, made my sleep even more of a horror show. My young brain could rationalize that hundreds of miles of spruce trees between me and the nearest ocean was even better than having “a bigger boat,” but what about a bear?

He could be outside my window. He might be pissed about the bear my dad stalked, shot, and skinned, now a rug lying in the living room of our house. The grizzly might be seeking revenge on the only son of the sonofabitch who slaughtered his sibling!

“MOOOOMMMMM!!!”

I came within fifteen feet of a bear while out for a run a few years back and managed to not pee myself. Statistically speaking, I’m far more likely to die on the toilet, and I love my toilet.

I love bears too. I grew out of the fear and realized what amazing creatures they are, so long as you’re not watching one rip Leonardo DiCaprio’s Oscar-winning face off. You don’t need to pack up your shit and head off to the great outdoors and have your own face-to-bear experience. I like imagining them because, as a metaphor, they represent that which is fierce and powerful. A grizzly is something with claws and teeth. When they are of a mind to do a thing, they are unstoppable. Also, like me after a long run, they don’t smell too good.

When I imagine something kicking a lot of ass, I imagine a giant bear. And so when I have a lofty goal in need of chasing, I awaken my inner grizzly.

There is a grizzly bear hibernating within you, waiting for a key to unlock it from its cage. I want to help you find that key.

You have seen such an unleashed beast manifest in others; they become inspired about achieving their dreams and are relentless in the pursuit. My dad worked outside year-round and had the Grizzly Adams beard, but Mom was the one who let the huge furry quadruped loose. After the divorce, she moved us to the city and went all Revenant on glass ceilings.