Gillian Anderson - We - A Manifesto for Women Everywhere

Each of the Nine Principles in this book can be applied to your own life and to the world at large. Their impact is cumulative. Once you’ve completed the process, you’ll have a set of tools that will enable you to handle whatever life throws your way.

Most importantly, underpinning all WE’s principles is an ancient rule that can be found in almost every ethical, spiritual and religious tradition: the Golden Rule.

At its simplest, the Golden Rule states that we should treat each other as we would like to be treated ourselves – in other words, with love. It is a simple rule that has the power to change everything.

Our goal in taking this journey isn’t individual happiness – though that comes as a welcome by-product. It is to live in a way that is true to our inner calling. A way that is kind and just. That leads to personal fulfilment and helps other women across the planet.

‘History has shown us that courage can be contagious and hope can take on a life of its own.’

MICHELLE OBAMA

This book doesn’t come from lofty heights. It comes from two friends who have stumbled along together, trying, failing, crying, laughing, learning and trying again.

It is about a set of principles that led us out of darkness, from a place where both of us were in despair, into a way of life that has meaning and purpose.

We discovered the hard way that no amount of external success could fix how we felt on the inside. The more we had, the more we felt we needed to get. No matter what we achieved, it didn’t make us happy. It made us feel guilty that even with the gifts and luck we’d been given, we couldn’t seem to make life work.

In the end we’d both become dependent on a whole host of unhealthy crutches – alcohol, drugs, work, food, abusive relationships – you name it, we tried it. And at the same time we had therapy, did yoga and tried to puzzle life out.

Our crises were severe enough that we had no option but to change. To start a process of complete rebuilding. Root and branch.

We’re passionate about the Nine Principles in this book because they’ve transformed our lives. That doesn’t mean we’re happy all the time, that we handle every situation perfectly, or that we’re saints. Far from it – we are, like every one of us, perfectly imperfect. But, when we’re willing to use them, WE’s principles give us access to a peace of mind and inner freedom that we’d never even dreamed was possible.

We aren’t doctors or therapists or priests. Our principal qualification is that we handle emotional pain so badly that we’ve been forced to look for answers. For over 20 years we’ve each searched for what works. The wisdom in this book isn’t ours; it’s distilled from a myriad of teachers far wiser. We are passing it on with gratitude and in the hope that others might gain comfort and meaning from it.

When both of us started walking this path we were cynical and resistant. But now, from our own experience, we know that transformation and happiness are possible and that miracles do actually happen. Hopefully you haven’t hit as bleak a patch as we both did, but wherever your starting point, if you follow this path you will experience profound changes.

I came to the journey that is contained in this book when I was a single parent of two boys working my dream job. I was a network news correspondent who got to tell the world about the issues I cared deeply about. Then one morning I woke up and realized I couldn’t go on. I called the news desk and said I was very sorry but I couldn’t come in – not that day and, as it turned out, not ever. Unsurprisingly, my life fell apart. I was diagnosed with severe depression and burnout. I began the journey I’d been avoiding for the previous 35 years – the journey to meet myself and to find a way of living that accorded with who I really was at my deepest level. I sought help and wisdom from numerous teachers, support groups and professionals. I met friends like Gillian who were seekers also. Today I am the same person, but I am so much happier. I have meaning, I have connection, I have people that I truly love in my life. Of course, I still hit patches of pain and difficulty, but I wake up each day excited to be alive.

The journey that these Nine Principles map out doesn’t ever end. But it contains truth. Truth that I know from my own life has the power to guide us away from doubt, depression and self-hatred, and for which I’m infinitely grateful.

JN

I think I started searching for some kind of deeper meaning to my life when I was in high school, but I don’t feel like I properly put solutions into practice until I was in college. By then I had turned to so many outside sources for comfort to deal with my fear and uncertainty, my sense of loneliness, confusion and feeling misunderstood about the world and my place in it that when I started practising some of these principles the effect was dramatic and life-changing. I suddenly felt a sense of stability and grounding, personal power and purpose, and am absolutely certain that had I not had that foundation when I then achieved what turned into international career success, I would simply not have been able to deal with it. That’s not to say that I have not struggled or handled things appallingly or turned for long stretches towards unhealthy ways of coping, but what I did learn in those initial years were tools for how to handle life’s hardships better. And on a daily basis I get to choose how my life plays out. How do I deal with this rejection, this grief, this fear? With these practices in my pocket, it’s my choice.

GA

You don’t have to take our word for it. Treat this journey as if it were a scientific experiment. See what happens if you practise the principles as they are laid out. If at the end of these chapters you don’t feel better, you can always have your old life back.

The Nine Principles in this book work.

Change is possible.

There’s no need to panic or feel overwhelmed. Nothing is asked of you now, other than that you read the book and give the principles within it a try. This is not another thing to add to your to-do list. It is a gateway to an inner freedom and a peace of mind that you may not have known was possible.

You have nothing to lose but your unhappiness, and the world has everything to gain.

‘Like life, peace begins with women. We are the first to forge lines of alliance and collaboration across conflict divides.’

ZAINAB SALBI

Imagine a sisterhood – across all creeds and cultures – an unspoken agreement that we, as women, will support and encourage each other. That we won’t seek to take advantage of another’s weakness, or sit in judgement of each other’s shortcomings. That we will remember we don’t know what struggles each of us may be facing elsewhere in our lives and so we’ll assume that each of us is doing our best. That we will do the work to heal ourselves so that together we can create a more compassionate world.